The Night Will Throw You Away
by Sunny Daisy
Summary: Voldemort's first rise to power was marked by disappearances, deaths and other tragedies that sometimes struck much too close to home. Maruaders era. Rating subject to change, read and review! HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, so please don't sue me.

A/N: This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so please be kind. Constructive criticism is welcomed.

Chapter One

_Nobody ever seems to remember that life is a game we play.—Oasis _

It had all passed by much too quickly for Lily Evans' taste. Six years—had it really been six years since she had first stood here, on this platform?—had flown by in the blink of an eye and she still felt eleven years old, not understanding her two worlds or where they met. Her Head Girl badge felt heavy in her hand; was she really standing on Platform 9 and ¾ , waiting for the train to take her to Hogwarts for the _last_ time? Her seventh year, her _final_ year, loomed ahead of her and her stomach lurched at the thought that the world, the _real_ world, was out there waiting. Oh, Merlin, what if—

Someone tapped her on the shoulder, snapping Lily out of her reverie. She turned and smiled at the pretty girl behind her.

"You looked like you were thinking _much_ too hard and school hasn't even started yet," Emmeline Vance commented cheerfully. She dropped the handle of her trunk that she had been holding; it hit the floor with a dull _thud_.

"So you felt it was your civic duty to stop such a truly monstrous crime?" Lily asked, amused. Emmeline pushed her blonde hair behind one ear, grinned at Lily and gestured to her trunk.

"Help me toss this load onto the train, will you?"

--------------

"Moony, mate!" James Potter called out, pushing his way through the crowd. Remus Lupin smiled and stopped where he was, patiently waiting for James to reach him.

Throwing an arm around Remus' shoulder, James sighed dramatically. "Our last year, Moony. You know what this means?"

"That you'll finally start studying for your classes?" Remus suggested. James snorted.

"Why would I start studying for class my _last bloody year_, Moony? No, what it means is that—"

"Hey James, Remus," Peter Pettigrew wheezed, jogging up to the pair. "Have a good summer?"

"Yes, yes, excellent," James said impatiently. "As I was saying, this year we have to—"

"Trick Lily Evans into dating you?" a new voice offered sarcastically from behind Peter. James grinned.

"Yes, that too, Padfoot. But that wasn't my _original_ point. Mates," James motioned the other three boys in closer and said, voice low, "in honor of our lives at Hogwarts coming to an end, I propose we pull off the most _magnificent_ prank in the school's history. Something worthy of Hogwarts legend." He waited for their responses.

"You're Head Boy, James," Remus pointed out wearily. "You can't pull pranks and still be Head Boy."

James dismissed his comment with a wave of his hand. "So I won't get caught. When have we ever gotten _caught_?"

Sirius smirked and said, "Thinking we shouldn't tempt fate, Moony?"

"_Yes_," Remus said emphatically.

Still smirking, Sirius turned to James. "Lucky for you, Prongs, I'm all for tempting fate."

"Me too!" Peter agreed quickly. James grinned triumphantly at Remus, who sighed and said, "I guess if we're careful—"

"Excellent!" James said briskly just as the shrill train whistle blew.

--------------

"Anything off the trolley, dears?"

Lily leaned back in her seat as Emmeline dug a few Sickles out of her jeans pocket and handed them to the trolley witch in exchange for a few Chocolate Frogs.

"So you did absolutely _nothing_ this whole summer?" Emmeline asked doubtfully, unwrapping a Frog. At Lily's nod, she continued, "Was Petunia a simply horrid little bitch then?"

Lily snorted. "Petunia's personality has two settings. The first one is simpering and sweet fiancée to her horrible Vernon Dursley. The second is—"

"Horrid little bitch?" Emmeline finished. Lily smiled. "Exactly."

"Well," Emmeline said thoughtfully, curling her wand absent-mindedly through her hair, "once you turn seventeen, you can hex her until you're blue in the face. And if you _really_ want to make her miserable," she continued impishly, "you would actually _attend_ her precious bloody wedding."

Lily made a face at her. "And suffer through that awful Dursley's droning about how he doesn't deserve _dear _Petunia, even though they are, in reality, quite perfect for each other? No, thank you."

"Well, thank Merlin they're made for each other," Emmeline said brightly. "If they weren't, that would mean the suffering of two more people!" Her tone became more dramatic. "By marrying each other, your _darling_ sister and her _darling_ fiancé have saved two innocent souls from the torture of their company!" She grinned at Lily. "Imagine what Petunia would do if she knew she was the cause behind such blissfully unaware happiness!"

Lily grinned back mischievously. "She'd probably off herself, given her previous attitudes toward others' happiness."

A group of earnest-looking people trooped past their compartment, each of them sporting a badge with an elegantly curling "P" engraved on it and expressions containing varying degrees of arrogance. Lily's grin slid off of her face.

"I have to go to the prefects' meeting," she told Emmeline glumly, getting her Head Girl badge out and showing it to her. "Shouldn't take too long." She started for the door.

Emmeline suddenly burst into laughter. "Have a great time then, Lily. You and the Head Boy should get along _famously_."

Instantly suspicious, Lily stopped and turned. "Who's the Head Boy?" she asked, frowning. Emmeline shook her head and said, voice devious, "You'll find out soon enough. Have a _grand_ meeting."

Lily wanted desperately to stay and grill her friend for more information, but logic forced her to admit that she would find out the new Head Boy's identity sooner if she just went ahead to the meeting. Sending a scowl Emmeline's way, Lily left.

--------------

"You have to what?" Peter asked, brow wrinkled in confusion.

"It's not hard, Wormtail," Sirius said flatly. "He has to go make sure the new prefects know where the lines are drawn." He smirked at James. "While planning to cross every single one of them himself."

Remus frowned. "James—"

James jumped up from his seat and cut Remus off. "Sorry, prefects meeting. You coming, Moony?" He sauntered out of the compartment, Remus following with a scowl on his face.

The prefects' compartment was almost full when they reached it. Several people looked at James curiously and several whispered to their friends, clearly wondering how he had swiped the Head Boy position out from under Remus Lupin's feet.

"Never fret," James announced with mock pomp, ignoring the whispers. "I'm here." He pretended to polish his badge. Remus grimaced and sat down next to a Ravenclaw prefect.

"You—you _can't_ be Head Boy!" a familiar girl's voice stammered. James grinned and shrugged.

"Tell that to Dumbledore, Evans."

--------------

"Emmeline Vance!" Lily snapped, storming into her previous compartment. "_Why_ didn't you have the—the sodding _decency_ to tell me that James _bloody_ Potter is the new Head Boy?"

Emmeline looked up from the newspaper resting on her lap. "Because you would've found out eventually and you were already worried about being late for your first meeting as Head Girl?" she suggested practically.

Lily glared at her and sat down, unable to find a flaw in her friend's logic.

"Chocolate Frog?" Emmeline offered, holding one out. Lily begrudgingly took it and mumbled dejectedly, "I still don't forgive you."

Emmeline shrugged and held out another Frog. "It won't be that bad," she reasoned. "He's just a boy; how bad can he be?"

Lily stared at her. "How _bad_ can he _be_? He can be an absolute _terror_! He'll spend the majority of the Heads' meetings asking me _out_ or _bragging_ about how sodding _brilliant_ he is at bloody _Quidditch _and be a general pain in the—"

"Now, Evans," a new, more masculine voice drawled, "I beg you, don't crush my fragile ego with your impending words."

Both girls glanced over at the door to their compartment. James Potter was leaning against the doorframe, a playful grin on his face. Emmeline, amused despite the angry scowl on Lily's face, grinned back. Lily glowered at her.

"No one invited you to join our conversation, Potter," she snapped irritably.

"Alas," James sighed dramatically, "here I am." He sat down next to Emmeline, who said as she carefully fought laughter,

"Have a good summer, James?"

James grinned at her. "Smashing, _Emmeline_. Yourself?"

Emmeline opened her mouth to respond, but Lily beat her to it. "Did you have a _point_, Potter, or did you come here simply to be obnoxious?"

"It's a bit obvious why he came here," Emmeline muttered under her breath. James heard her and gave her a curious look, as though he was seeing her for the first time. At her questioning stare, he turned his attention back to Lily.

"Just thought we might want to work on our relationship, Evans," he said, winking at her. "Our _professional _relationship, of course. Unless you want to work on our _personal_ relationship as well?"

Lily glared at him and said frostily, "I'm _not_ going to pretend as though I understand why Dumbledore made _you_ Head Boy, Potter. You've done nothing but coast through your classes, annoy everyone with your obnoxious pranks, and be a general _prat_. If you think for a minute—"

"As informative as this—_lecture_ is," James interrupted, his tone suddenly matching Lily's for coolness, "I do happen to have better things to do with my time than listen to you list the things about me that annoy you." He made to leave, pausing to turn and say, "If you think Dumbledore was so far off the mark, I suggest you tell him. See you, Vance." He left, sliding the door shut behind him.

Emmeline raised an eyebrow at Lily. "Well," she said brightly, "that could've gone better."

Lily leaned back heavily against her seat and scowled at Emmeline. "You just had to encourage him, didn't you. 'Have a good summer, James?'" she mocked. "He would've left without saying anything else if you—"

Emmeline laughed. "He would _not_ have 'just left.' He would've continued to bait you, you would've continued to rise to the occasion like you were and he'd still be here, trying to impress you with his _rapier_ wit. Instead, he's a bit pissed at you and might leave you alone for a few days." Shaking her head and smiling, she returned to her newspaper.

Frustrated because her friend really did have a point, Lily snapped, "You should really change into your robes, you know. We're almost there." She snatched up Emmeline's last Chocolate Frog and viciously bit into it.

--------------

"Prefects are bloody _boring_," James announced, sliding into his compartment and noting that Remus had already returned.

"The meeting ended ages ago, James," Remus said, frowning. "Where've you been?"

James shrugged. "Ran into Evans."

Sirius looked up from his newspaper. "You just happened to 'run into' her?"

"Yes," James defended, helping himself to the Quidditch section of Sirius' _Daily Prophet_. Damned if the Chudley Cannons hadn't lost again.

Sirius gave a derisive snort. "Sought out her compartment like a bloody stalker is more likely, Prongs."

"I _wasn't_ looking for her compartment, Padfoot," James said, rolling his eyes. "Remember that I'm in a perfectly content relationship with—"

"Your Quidditch team? Unless you're snogging a bird you haven't told us about," Sirius said, the corners of his mouth twitching.

James scowled at him. "The _point_ is—"

Sirius interrupted him, "Unless Evans snogged you in full view of her compartment-mates—"

The words "compartment-mates" pricked something in James' memory. Ignoring Sirius, he turned to Remus and Peter and grinned. "Gents, you remember Emmeline Vance?"

Peter turned bright red and mumbled something about how it would be difficult to forget such a pretty girl while Remus merely nodded. "Vaguely," Sirius grunted, returning to his newspaper, a bored expression covering his handsome features. "Why?"

"Because," James replied, "it just so happens that summer was good to her." He winked at Sirius, whose face remained a study in boredom. "_Very_ good to her."

"Does this mean your obsession with Lily Evans is over?" Peter asked, frowning. "Do you like Emmeline Vance now?"

Remus rolled his eyes at Peter. "I doubt that," he muttered.

"It doesn't mean anything," Sirius said flatly. "He's just making a comment about how some bird looks better now than in June."

"Oh, quit acting like you don't know who he's talking about," Remus snapped. "You know exactly who Emmeline Vance is; you copy off her in Astronomy."

Peter sat up straight. "Why would you copy off of someone in Astronomy?" he wondered. "It's not a hard class."

"To check my bloody answers," Sirius retorted through gritted teeth, eyes narrowing. Peter hunched back to his original position, mouth tightly shut. _He_ wasn't going to be on the receiving end of the famous Black family temper.

--------------

Oh, Merlin. This was it. This was the last time she would arrive at the castle as a student. A cold hand gripped Lily's stomach tightly as she stared up at the school, drinking in the view. It was too much to think about and someone really should make her stop, but Emmeline was staring up at Hogwarts the same way, as though the thought had just occurred to her as well.

"So this is it," Lily said softly. Emmeline snapped out of her stare and said, "What's it?"

"It's our last year. Tomorrow is our last first day of school."

Emmeline smiled at her, linked her arm through Lily's and remarked, "But tomorrow's still only the first day. We have nine whole months before you're allowed to break out the hankies, Evans."

"You're not the least bit _sad_? Not even a little bit?" Lily asked, surprised. Emmeline shrugged as they began to walk up to the school. Hagrid could be heard yelling, "Firs' years! This way, firs' years!"

The ceiling of the Great Wall was filled with stars winking down at the entering students. Lily and Emmeline sat down at the Gryffindor table and to Lily's immense displeasure, James Potter and his three _friends_ sat down next to them. Really, the only one that was even the least bit tolerable was Remus Lupin. Lily glared at James, who ignored her. Well. That was certainly a lovely change.

"Have a good summer, boys?" Emmeline asked, shooting Lily a warning look that plainly said _don't start anything_. Lily rolled her eyes. Like she would be the one to start _anything_ anyway.

Peter Pettigrew, whose friendship with James Potter neither Lily nor Emmeline had ever really understood, replied shyly, "It was alright. Yours?" Emmeline smiled at him, eyes amused. He turned very red, mumbled something unintelligible and became highly interested in studying his empty plate. Sirius Black rolled his eyes and, stretching his arms out behind him, drawled, "You really want to hear about _my_ summer, Vance?" He leered at her, apparently oblivious to the small group of fifth year girls crowded together down the table, casting him longing glances.

Emmeline shot him a look of disgust; he smirked back. "I'll take that as a _no_."

"Please do," she said flatly; Lily raised her eyebrows at her, as if to say _see how it feels_?

The doors to the Great Hall suddenly creaked open and a group of terrified-looking first years entered, huddled together and casting fearful glances at the older students who were already sitting at their House tables.

Professor McGonagall walked briskly to the middle of the Great Hall. She set the Sorting Hat on its stool and its brim stretched widely as it launched into its annual song. Lily frowned as it warned of coming foes and treachery; she exchanged a glance with Emmeline, who was frowning as well. When the Hat had finished its song, the Hall broke out into polite applause and McGonagall unraveled a large scroll.

"Abernathy, Timothy!" (HUFFLEPUFF!) began the Sorting and slowly, the crowd of first years thinned. When the last one was sorted ("Wilson, Annette!" to Ravenclaw), food began to appear on everyone's plates.

Lily sat stiffly while she ate, hyper-aware of James Potter's presence next to her and how his elbow kept brushing against hers. Emmeline glanced over at her and raised her eyebrows. Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes, stabbing her fork violently into her unsuspecting slice of pie.

"It's not the pie's fault," Emmeline whispered to her, eyes sparkling amusedly. Lily was about to retort when Dumbledore stood up from the professor' table and held up his hands for quiet. The Great Hall was silent almost instantly.

"To our new additions!" Dumbledore boomed, eyes twinkling at the first years. "Welcome! To our old hats, welcome back!" He paused, blue eyes roaming over the students, and then continued, "I have a few beginning of the year rules to go over; terribly boring, yes, but a necessary evil." He smiled down at them. "First years should note that the Forbidden Forest, as its name implies, is strictly _forbidden_. Some of our older students should bear this rule in mind as well." As he said this, his eyes swept over the Gryffindor table, lingering for a moment on James and Sirius.

Lily began to unconsciously tune Dumbledore out as he continued listing the rules; she had heard them so many times before. Emmeline turned half-way around in her seat and met Lily's eyes. Emmeline nodded slightly at Peter Pettigrew, who, oblivious to the fact that James had transfigured his goblet into a gerbil, kept trying to grab his pumpkin juice. Lily bit back a laugh.

"...for now." Dumbledore finally concluded. "As many of you are well on your way to falling asleep, off to your warm beds you go!" He beamed as everyone stood and made their way towards their dormitories.

Lily stood up and said tartly to James, "Come on, Potter, we're supposed to—"

"Make sure the prefects tell the first years where to go," he cut her off. "I was _listening_ during the meeting on the train, Evans."

She flushed and snapped, "Well pardon me for expecting your usual flippancy towards rules! Gryffindor first years, this way!"

Emmeline saw several of the first years wince at her sharp tone and nudged her friend. "Might want to tone down your anger, Lily. You might terrify the first years, and by the looks of them, their little hearts can't take much more." She sent an encouraging smile to a small boy who looked ready to faint. "Good luck dealing with Potter," she added as she left for the Gryffindor common room.

--------------

"You were right about Emmeline Vance," Peter sighed as he made himself comfortable in one of the squishy chairs close to the common room fire. "She looks..." he trailed off with another sigh. James glanced at Sirius, who snapped, "We're all waiting with bated breath for your brilliant depiction, Wormtail."

Peter jerked out of his trance and mumbled, "She looks good."

"Bloody brilliant description," Sirius said flatly. "Your vocabulary is truly awe inspiring." Peter flushed a bit and Remus retorted in his defense, "What's the bloody _matter_ with you today, Sirius?"

Before Sirius could respond, James cut in, "Stuff it, all of you. It's only our first day back and you lot are already bloody _snipping_ at each other like bloody _wankers_." They glanced at him in surprise.

"Yes, Mum," Sirius said finally, his voice distinctly less hostile. James rolled his eyes at him and, propping his feet up on a stool next to his chair, opened Sirius' newspaper to the portions he hadn't yet read.

--------------

"Sirius Black is a _prat_," Emmeline grumbled as she changed into her pajamas. Lily grinned at her. "That's the second time you've said that in ten minutes," she reminded her friend. Emmeline scowled.

"It bears repeating," she muttered darkly.

"Of course it does," a new voice said from the doorway. "Otherwise Emmeline here might find herself in the exact same predicament that most of the girls at Hogwarts above the age of fourteen find themselves in."

Emmeline narrowed her eyes. "And what predicament is that, Marlene?"

Marlene McKinnon grinned at her and deposited her bags onto her bed. "Desperately, _hopelessly_ in love with Sirius Black." She twirled her dark hair around one finger. "Can't become a Healer if you get too..._distracted_." She winked at Emmeline, who, despite her annoyance, couldn't help but smile a bit.

"There's no chance of Sirius Black—or anyone else, for that matter—becoming a _distraction_ to me," she assured Marlene and Lily.

Marlene shrugged. "If you say so." She turned to Lily. "So you're our new Head Girl! This is a most excellent development, I have to say, because now—"

"I'm not covering for your late-night snogging in the Astronomy Tower," Lily interrupted, eyes sparkling with amusement. Marlene's face fell. "I can, however, choose to—_overlook_ them. Just don't get caught by a prefect. Or flaunt what you're doing. Because then I'll _have_ to report you."

Marlene clapped her hands together. "Excellent," she said happily. "The perks of being roommates with the Head Girl!" She hopped on her bed and kicked off her shoes.

Emmeline frowned. "Where's Dorcas?" Marlene shrugged and replied, "Didn't see her on my way up from the common room."

"She should be here by now," Emmeline said softly to Lily, looking a bit worried. Lily sighed and grabbed her wand from her bedside table. "I guess I'll go look for her, then," she said exasperatedly.

"Well," Marlene pointed out, "as Head Girl you're the least likely of us to get into trouble for being out of bed after curfew." She punctuated this with an encouraging smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and left the dorm.

* * *

A/N: It's a work in progress...don't forget to review! D 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: It's not mine...I wish it were, but alas...

A/N: Enjoy! And don't forget to review:)

* * *

Chapter Two 

_Forgive the urgency, but hurry up and wait. _—_The Fray_

The common room was nearly deserted; sweets wrappers and other pieces of rubbish littered the floor. The fire crackled and popped invitingly and the shadows danced across the walls. Lily gripped her wand in front of her and called out, "Dorcas?"

There was movement from the chair in front of the fire; Lily craned her neck, hoping to see her wayward roommate. She groaned when she saw messy hair and the light glinting off a pair of glasses.

"Who're you looking for, Evans?" James Potter asked conversationally, pushing himself out of his previous slumped position and running a hand through his perpetually tangled hair.

"Dorcas Meadowes," she informed him, voice clipped. "She's one of my roommates and she hasn't come up yet."

Instead of the prat-like remark she had expected, Potter frowned and said slowly, "She should be here by now."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, Potter," she said exasperatedly, though there wasn't much sting to her words. She headed over to the portrait hole.

"It's after curfew, Evans," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes at him and asked, "When have you _ever_ cared about the rules, Potter?" She climbed out of the portrait hole without looking back.

"Ah, Miss Evans," a cheerful voice greeted her almost as soon as her feet touched the ground. Lily looked up and froze. "I was wondering when I would be seeing you." His omniscience was a bit disconcerting, Lily thought, heart pounding.

"Professor Dumbledore," she said weakly; her legs suddenly felt as though they no longer had the strength to hold her up.

"I believe you were about to go in search of your missing roommate, yes?" he asked, peering down at her over his glasses. She nodded mutely; could he take her badge away because of this? Merlin, Potter would have a bloody _field day_ if she was stripped of her position before the term even _started_!

Dumbledore smiled at her and said gently, "Miss Evans, I have no intention of punishing you for being concerned for your friend." Lily let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding; Dumbledore continued as though he had not noticed, "Miss Meadowes is in away for the time being; she will rejoin you, Miss Vance, and Miss McKinnon soon."

Lily nodded mutely, adrenaline rushing through her system; he wasn't angry with her and she was still Head Girl! Dumbledore turned to leave and then stopped as though just remembering something.

"Miss Evans," he said quietly. "I must request that neither you nor your roommates question Miss Meadowes on her tardiness when you see her." He offered no explanation; he simply gazed down at her, awaiting her response.

"Of—of course, sir," Lily agreed, puzzled. Professor Dumbledore inclined his head to her and left, leaving Lily alone in the empty hallway, wondering what in the _hell_ had happened to Dorcas.

---------------

"So he didn't tell you why Dorcas _still_ isn't here?" Emmeline asked Lily as they made their way to the Transfiguration room the next morning.

Lily nodded. "All he said was that she was away, she'd come back soon and not to question her about anything." Emmeline blew out a frustrated breath. "Well that's _most_ unhelpful," she grumbled, pushing the door to the classroom open.

"Something must have happened, something _terrible_," Lily said softly, brow creasing in worry as they took their seats. "She'd be here otherwise."

Emmeline frowned. "Well, there's not much we can do about it now," she said with an air of finality, taking out her quill and parchment.

Professor McGonagall stood up at the front of the room and everyone slowly went quiet. "I trust everyone had a satisfactory summer," she said briskly, "but it is now the beginning of your final year here at Hogwarts." She began to walk between the desks, glancing occasionally at each of her students. "I must impress upon you the great importance in a positive performance this year. It is your final year here, your last chance to prepare yourself for the world waiting for you beyond these halls." Her eyes rested upon Lily for a fraction of a second, then returned to sweeping the other students, all of whom were staring up at her with varying degrees of excitement or terror written on their faces. Lily swallowed.

"Now," she continued, "you are all N.E.W.T. level students, and I should not have to explain to you my expectations from you over the course of this year. I think you will find," her eyes settled on James Potter and Sirius Black, "that this class will require more hard work than in your previous years."

She returned to the front of the classroom and said, brandishing her wand, "_Abeo potenti_!" Her desk promptly changed into a goose that, as soon as it saw the students around it, began to honk quite obnoxiously. With a flick of her wand, McGonagall said, "_Abeo Reverto_" and the goose became her desk again.

"Find a partner and practice," she said simply, sitting down at her desk and slipping her glasses on. There was a low buzz and the scraping of chairs against the floor as people began to go in search of partners.

Lily turned to Emmeline, who was scribbling some final notes on her parchment, and said quietly, "McGonagall's making it sound like this year is the only one that matters."

Emmeline folded her parchment and said as Lily practiced the wand motions, "Well, it _is_ the most important one, yeah? Of course," she hurried on at Lily's anxious look, "the other six matter too." She picked up her own wand, repeating the incantation to herself absently before continuing, "I don't see what you're so bloody worried about, Lily, you'll do brilliant." Lily grimaced and mumbled, "_Abeo potenti_" half-heartedly. The desk stubbornly remained the same. Emmeline cast her a sympathetic look but Lily's eyes were drawn over her shoulder, where James Potter and Sirius Black were seated.

"They're not even _practicing_!" she fumed at Emmeline, who glanced over her shoulder. Indeed, James Potter and Sirius Black were hunched together, deep in discussion, wands resting on their desks. McGonagall had noticed as well.

"Potter! Black!" she barked. "Get to work, or I'll take points!"

"But Professor," Potter protested, "the term just started!"

"Then I suggest you start working, Potter," McGonagall replied tartly.

Lily felt a grim flare of satisfaction as they begrudgingly picked up their wands. She pointed her wand at her desk and said clearly, _"Abeo potenti!"_

Emmeline jumped and scrambled to snatch her quill and parchment off of the back of the goose that had appeared in place of their desk.

"Sorry," Lily said with a bit of a smile as the goose honked loudly and waddled closer to Emmeline. Emmeline shot her a dirty look and muttered, "_Abeo Reverto_".

---------------

"Potter! Black!" James flinched at the harsh sound of his name. "Get to work, or I'll take points!"

"But Professor," he protested, "the term just started!"

McGonagall narrowed her eyes at him. "Then I suggest you start working, Potter," she snapped, returning to her papers. James frowned at her, reluctantly picked up his wand, mumbled a derogatory term towards McGonagall and finally cast the incantation. Sirius watched amusedly as their desk transformed into an angry goose that snapped its beak at Amos Diggory, a Hufflepuff who was sitting in front of them. Diggory glared at them and James, snickering as he apologized, cast the counter-spell.

The action over, Sirius leaned in towards James and said quietly, "Full moon's in a week, Prongs."

"I do _love_ full moons," James replied with a grin. "Think Moony would give the Slytherins a bit of a scare for us?"

Sirius, who seemed to be in a lighter mood from the previous day, laughed appreciatively. "Probably not." His eyes flickered over to where Lily and Emmeline were practicing. "Wormtail really in love with Vance, you think?"

James glanced over his shoulder at the two girls and shrugged. "Anything's possible, mate. Why?" His face turned mischievous. "You fancy her?"

Sirius rolled his eyes and retorted, "Fancy a shag maybe." James shook his head.

"You're unbelievable, mate," he said affectionately, leaning his chair back on two legs and mussing his hair. "Have you _ever_ fancied more from a girl than just snogging and shagging?"

Sirius shrugged. "Not lately," he answered vaguely. James stared at him in no small amount of amazement.

"Must be a symptom having your own flat," he said enviously. "No ruddy parents hanging about." Sirius grinned a bit.

"That's the loveliest part about it," he said. "No parents." A satisfied expression crossed his handsome face. "Not having to hear Walburga's shrieks and her bloody _sonnets_ exalting that git, Regulus...it's excellent. "

James shook his head. "Thank Merlin for your uncle Alphard and his gold, then."

Movement at the front of the classroom drew their attention away from their conversation. McGonagall had stood up. "Potter! Black!" she barked. "I'll see the two of you this Saturday in detention!"

---------------

"They're _still_ not practicing," Lily hissed at Emmeline, who resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She did, however, snap, "Blimey, Lily! Stop obsessing!"

Lily blinked. "I'm not _obsessing_. They shouldn't be the only ones who_—_"

"Oh, you know perfectly well that if you didn't have to work at Transfiguration, you would never put in any effort," Emmeline said, her voice a bit more kind.

"I suppose," Lily grumbled in a tone that clearly said she supposed no such thing. "They should at least _pretend_." Emmeline snorted doubtfully and changed the subject.

"I think we should write to Dorcas," she announced, twirling her wand around her fingers. "Tell her we're thinking about her, we're available if she needs us, that sort of thing."

Lily pried her eyes away from James and Sirius_—_who were _still_ not practicing, she noted furiously_—_and said thoughtfully, "I think—"

"Potter! Black!" McGonagall shouted suddenly. Every head in the classroom whipped around to stare at the pair. "I'll see the two of this Saturday in detention!"

Lily threw a triumphant smirk at Emmeline as if to say _I told you so_.

Emmeline scowled mildly at her and said, "What do you think about writing to Dorcas?"

"Well she's not at school, which means something probably happened to a member of her family. And whatever happened had to have been something horrible or she would be here."

"So it would be an intrusion upon her privacy to owl her?" Emmeline asked.

Lily's brows drew together. "No," she said slowly, "it would be an intrusion upon her grief."

"Her _grief_? We don't know—"

"We know Dorcas wouldn't miss school because of anything less than some horrid incident," Lily interrupted, tapping her wand against her desk thoughtfully. "Someone she loves is either dead or dying."

Emmeline shook her head doubtfully. "She would have owled one of us," she insisted. "We're her _friends_! We've been mates for six years!"

"Would _you_ have owled anyone if someone you loved were dying? Or dead?" Lily asked quietly.

"I would've owled _you_!"

"Dorcas is much more private than you, Emmeline," Lily reminded her gently. "She wouldn't have owled anyone and while it's a lovely idea to send her a bit of post, it would ultimately be an intrusion."

---------------

The Great Hall buzzed with grumbling students as lunch began. Marlene waved to Emmeline and Lily, indicating where she had saved them seats.

"Hullo!" she said brightly. "Have a good lesson then?"

"Not bad," Lily said as they sat down. "We missed you this morning at breakfast, McKinnon. Oversleep?"

Marlene grinned at her. "Nice try, Head Girl, but no, I didn't oversleep. I just didn't get up as bloody early as you lot did." As if on cue, Emmeline yawned as she reached for one of the sandwiches that had appeared at the Gryffindor table.

"Emmeline? Do you mind if I sit here?" a shy voice asked quietly. The three girls looked up. Peter Pettigrew stood behind Emmeline's shoulder, shuffling his feet a bit and looking thoroughly terrified of her answer.

She glanced over at Lily, who looked as though she was biting back a laugh, and said kindly, "Of course I don't mind, Peter. Budge up, Lily."

Wearing a highly amused expression, Lily slid over so that she was fairly squashed against Marlene.

"Have a good Transfiguration lesson, Emmeline?" Peter asked as he sat down. Emmeline blinked at him.

"It was—"

"Peter, we saved you a seat over there," came the quiet voice of Remus Lupin. He had just walked over, wearing a confused expression. Peter flushed.

"Decided to sit here instead," he mumbled. Remus' eyes flew to Emmeline, who gave him a faint smile. "I see," he said, looking amused. "Well, I'll leave you to it, then." He turned to go and Lily, feeling a bit of pity for Emmeline amongst her own entertainment, called out, "You can sit here too, if you like, Remus."

"There's no more bleeding room—" Marlene hissed at her. Remus didn't hear her; he said, somewhat surprised, "Thank you, Lily, but I'm already sitting with—"

"Potter and Black," Lily finished for him, shaking her head a little. "Why _are_ you friends with that lot? You seem so different."

His gaze slid to Peter and there seemed to be something nonverbal exchanged between them. "They're my friends," Remus answered simply and left.

Lunch was a painfully awkward ordeal; Peter would open his mouth as though to strike up a conversation and then think better of it, giving him the odd look of a gulping fish.

When the meal ended—an eternity later, it seemed to Emmeline—she excused herself as rapidly as possible, gripping Lily's arm and steering her out of the Great Hall.

-------------

"He's sitting with Emmeline," Remus reported, taking his seat with James and Sirius, who both frowned at him.

"He's sitting with _Vance_?" Sirius repeated incredulously. "_Why_?"

"Don't be thick, Padfoot," James said scornfully. "He _fancies_ her. And not just fancies _shagging_ her like you; Wormtail wants a _relationship_ with her."

Remus frowned at Sirius. "You want to shag Emmeline Vance?"

"He wants to shag the entire female population of Hogwarts—those who are over sixteen, anyway," James quipped, digging into his puddings.

"She's not that kind of girl, Sirius," Remus said warningly. "And I think this might be more than a passing infatuation on Peter's part; you can't do that to him. He'd never forgive you."

Sirius scowled at him. "I _fancy_ a shag, Moony. There's a difference between fancying a shag and actual shagging. Which I don't suppose you would know," he added good-naturedly. James snorted into his pumpkin juice.

Ignoring Sirius' dig and looking unconvinced, Remus persisted, "She'd fall for you if she got involved with you, Sirius. Don't be thick about this; don't do anything you'll regret."

"Like shag Emmeline Vance," James expounded helpfully, his mouth full of cream cakes.

Sirius exhaled impatiently. "I'm not bloody _deaf_, mates! You've made your point, Moony. Emmeline Vance is off bloody limits." Remus still looked doubtful, but James clapped Sirius on the back.

"Excellent! Glad we squared that away then. Now," he leaned forward and made a gesture with his fork. "Look at that girl, over there at the Ravenclaw table. She's not bad-looking, yeah?"

"Yeah, not bad," Sirius said warily. "What're you planning, Prongs?"

James shrugged. "I'm asking her to the first Hogsmeade with me." Remus blinked at him and Sirius said slowly, as though talking to a small child, "_Why_?"

"Because Evans obviously isn't interested," he replied cheerfully. "No point in going alone once she, undoubtedly, refuses my offers."

--------------

"Well," Lily said cheerfully, "that was painfully awkward."

Emmeline grimaced. "I know, I'm sorry. That was miserable."

Lily giggled. "Don't be sorry, Em! It was _most_ entertaining. Poor Peter, though...he's _infatuated_ with you.

"And I'm not interested," Emmeline muttered, tugging at her hair. "What do I do? Just leave him be, keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best? What do you do with Potter?"

Lily snorted. "Bit different, that. Peter isn't following you everywhere you go, asking you for a date."

"But he is infatuated with me," Emmeline reminded her. "So that could be next." Lily shrugged.

"Whatever I'm doing obviously has yet to succeed," she pointed out dryly. "So you shouldn't be too keen on taking my advice." Emmeline laughed.

"You have a point there," she conceded with a smile.

"Lily! Emmeline!" The two girls turned to see Marlene running to catch up them.

"That was cruel, that was," Marlene grumbled. "Leaving me alone with Pettigrew...soon as you left, Emmeline, he looked all crestfallen and sad. Made me pity him a bit, it did."

Emmeline winced and Marlene continued, "So Lily, you never told me about Dorcas. What's the story?"

Once Lily had told her what Dumbledore had said, Marlene frowned. "That's bloody _odd_."

"Agreed," Emmeline said. "Lily here thinks something terrible must've happened."

Marlene looked thoughtful. "Maybe...have you checked _The Daily Prophet_?"

Lily and Emmeline exchanged a look. "No," Lily admitted, feeling a bit thick. _Of course_ they should be checking_ The Daily Prophet_! If anything, the obituaries would carry the news if any of Dorcas' relatives had died.

"We really should have thought of that," Emmeline said dryly. Marlene grinned at them and said dramatically, "What would you two do without me?"

"I'll go look at the ones from the summer; I have a freed period now," Emmeline offered.

"I don't think I'll have time to look," Lily said regretfully. "With N.E.W.T.S. and Head duties..."

Marlene shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Lily. Emmeline and I, underachievers that we are, have plenty of free time to search _The Daily Prophet_."

"Speak for yourself," Emmeline protested. "I have to work my arse off this year if I'm going to be a Healer at any respectable—"

"Oh right," Marlene interrupted good-naturedly. "Can't forget about Emmeline becoming a Healer so she can fix those broken Quidditch players." She tossed a hearty wink at Emmeline who rolled her eyes but smiled back in spite of herself.

Students began to file out of the Great Hall as lunch was dismissed.

"Better go, Evans," Marlene said with a laugh. "James Potter might be looking for you. And you, Vance, you'd better dash too...Pettigrew's probably looking for you, too. Come to think of it, why am I the only one who has no blokes chasing after her?"

"You can have mine," Emmeline said glumly as she turned to leave for the library.

"Thanks but all the same, I'd rather have Lily's..."

"Take him, I don't want him," Lily grumbled as she left for her next class; Marlene laughed.

-------------

The library was filled from floor to ceiling with musty old books; as Emmeline entered, Madam Pince eyed her warily.

The newspapers were archived near the back, near the Restricted Section. There were several filing cabinets, the drawers labelled in neat block print. The sixth cabinet held more recent copies of _The Prophet_ and Emmeline ran her finger down the drawers until she reached the century **1900**. She pulled on the drawer; it didn't budge. Frowning, she pulled harder. The drawer did not move.

Emmeline peeked out from behind one of the stacks to see if Madam Pince was paying attention; she was eyeing a sixth year near the front of the library distrustfully. Excellent.

Grunting, Emmeline pulled on the drawer with all of her strength. The drawer remained immovable.

"Damn," she said aloud, albeit softly. There was a chuckle from behind her. She whirled around, not really expecting to see Madam Pince—the laugh had been distincly _male_—but not really anxious to see _anyone_.

"I think you need to try an alternative method to open that," Sirius Black said dryly. He was sitting on one of the desks behind her, watching her struggle with an amused expression on his face.

She rolled her eyes at him and muttered, "No shite, Sherlock," as she turned back to the stubborn drawer.

"Who's Sherlock?" he wanted to know, voice curious.

Emmeline frowned as she inspected the drawer's keyhole. "Muggle detective," she said absently, pushing her hair behind her ears and rubbing the keyhole with her index finger.

"You're not going to be able to open that."

She made a face at the drawer in front of her. "Do you know how to open it, then, Black?"

"As a matter of fact, _Vance_, I _do_ know how to open it," he drawled.

She waited a moment than prodded, "Are you planning on _telling_ me how to open it?"

He shrugged. "It's my free period, Vance. I have nothing more exciting to do than watch you do battle with a cabinet drawer."

"And here I thought you had such a _busy_ social calendar," she quipped, turning to face him and crossing her arms. "Tell me how to open it."

He pretended to consider her demand. "What's in there that's so important?"

"I would imagine there are _newspapers_ in there, thus the sign that says 'Newspapers'. Are you going to help me or not? I'll tell you _why_ once I get the bloody thing opened."

He smirked at her. "Are you trying to _bargain_ with me, Vance? Apologies, love, but your class projects are _not_ as interesting as—"

"It's not for a class," she interrupted him, and watched as a spark of interest flared in his gray eyes.

"And you'll tell me what it's for," he said slowly and thoughtfully, "if I open the drawer for you." He leaned forward. "What makes you think I'm all that interested in what you're doing?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "You're still here, aren't you?"

He smirked. "Touché."

Her conscience pricked at her. "It's not very interesting," she cautioned. "My reason," she clarified.

He flashed a grin at her and Emmeline was violently reminded of a conversation she had overheard in the loo between two fourth years the previous year. _His smile,_ one had sighed dreamily._ All he would have to do is smile at me and I'd shag him_. _So charming..._her friend had agreed.

She had written off that conversation as the daydreams of silly fourteen year old girls. But, while she didn't want to _shag_ him, exactly, she had to agree that he was charming. She would have to watch herself around this more..._appealing_ side of him.

"Well now my curiosity's all a-twitter," he said and she could hear the good-natured sarcasm in his voice.

She shrugged. "Don't say I didn't warn you," was all she said as he stood up off the desk and squatted so that he was eyelevel with the drawer's keyhole.

After waiting for several seconds, Emmeline put her hands on her hips and said sarcastically, "How bleeding brilliant! _Staring_ at the thing until it opens!"

Sirius rolled his eyes at her and reached into his pocket, pulling out a knife. She watched, fascinated, as he worked the blade in the keyhole; the drawer popped open.

"Now," he said, folding the knife and slipping it back into his pocket, "Enlighten me, Vance."

She bent down and began flipping through the files; as she passed each decade, they would disappear, presumably to the back of the cabinet (which seemed to be a lot further away than she would have guessed). She pulled out a stack and set them on the desk behind her.

Sirius stared down at the papers. "These are from this summer, Vance. What's going on?"

She sat down in one of the chairs and said as she pulled the first one, dated mid-June, "One of my roommates didn't come back to Hogwarts yesterday."

"And that involves _The Daily Prophet_ how?" he asked, sitting down across from her.

She flipped to the obituaries. "We think someone in her family must have died. Why else would she be late for term?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows at her. "Who's 'we'?"

She ticked off on her fingers, "Me, Lily, and Marlene.

"So you're searching the obituaries."

"You're a brilliant one, Black."

"Your wit is positively _scathing_, Vance," he drawled as he flipped his paper. "A bloke could be driven to _distraction_ around you."

She glanced up. "What are you doing?"

"I would think it would be plainly obvious, especially to such a clever girl like yourself that I am _reading_."

Emmeline frowned at him. "Why are you still here?"

"I told you why. It's my free period. I'm bloody _bored_."

"And you usually get your kicks from bothering people trying to work when you're bored?" she asked, her newspaper lying in front of her, forgotten.

"You're not trying to work," Sirius pointed out with a smirk. "You're trying to nose into your roommate's business."

She felt her cheeks turn pink. "I just want to know that she's alright," she defended.

His expression softened marginally. "Have you gone to Dumbledore?"

"Lily did. He said she was fine."

Sirius made an exasperated noise and said, shutting his paper, "Well if Dumbledore told you not to worry—"

"_Silence! _No talking in the library!" Madam Pince hissed at them, eyes bulging furiously. "And—_how did you get those out, you delinquents?"_

"The drawer was unlocked," Emmeline said quickly, rising from her seat and grabbing an armful of papers. "We were just leaving." She shoved her stack into the drawer while Madam Pince glowered at her. Sirius followed suit, looking highly amused at her lie.

"You know you'll never be able to get in that drawer again," he commented casually to her once they had left the library. She glared at him.

"Yes and if you hadn't been _talking_—"

"If I hadn't been talking? Love, you were talking _back_." He winked at her. "And quite well, I must say." She felt herself blush, recognizing his pun _and_ the double entendre.

"You're—_despicable_," she informed him and he grinned.

"Unfortunately for you, Vance, you _need_ me."

"I do _not_!"

"If you want to keep looking through newspapers, you do. How else will you break into the newspaper cabinet?"

"I'll _ask_ for the bloody key!"

"After that display? Pince's not likely to hand it over to the likes of you or me. And might I ask why you didn't ask for it when you realised the drawer was locked?" She stopped short. Well. Now she felt like a bloody _fool_.

"Where are you going?" she demanded as he began to walk away from her.

"Well, seeing as I have such a _busy_ social calendar..." he replied, smirking.

She fumed. And then she followed him.

* * *

A/N: Hope you enjoyed that! Don't forget to review! 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All belongs to JKR.

A/N: Thanks for reading...don't forget to review!

* * *

Chapter Three 

_Well now they call me the breeze; I keep blowing down the road. I ain't got me nobody, I don't carry me no load.  
__—Lynryd Skynyrd _

Emmeline Vance was having a difficult time keeping up with Sirius Black. She blamed this not on his considerable height (and his thus longer legs) but on the possibility that he was, in fact, trying to _ditch_ her. She threw a look of resentment at his back; if he would just stop and _talk_ to her, she wouldn't have to race to keep up with him.

"Where are you _going_?" she demanded again, trying not to fall _too_ far behind him as there was simply _no_ chance that he would wait patiently for her to catch up.

"Generally, Vance, when people refuse to answer your questions or don't wait for you to catch up, it's a sign that they don't want to talk to you," he said brightly; she scowled at his back.

"You're—"

"Despicable. Yes, you've mentioned that; quite recently, in fact."

"You could just _tell _me where you're going, you know."

He turned around half way and raised his eyebrows at her. "Or you could stop following me. Then I could continue on my way in peace and you'd still be none the wiser about my _social calendar_." He stopped and turned fully around. "Unless you're _interested_ in me, Vance?" He grinned. "Because in that case..."

She snorted and interrupted him, "Only if you define 'interested in' as 'frustrated with' or 'annoyed by'...you're not my type, Black."

Sirius smirked, his previous destination evidently temporarily forgotten. "But Wormtail is?"

Emmeline flushed and sputtered, "He—I'm not—it's not—it's not like that!"

"For _you_," he corrected her, the corners of his mouth tilting up. "It's _exactly_ like that for him."

She winced. "But I haven't—I haven't _encouraged_ him, have I?"

"You let him sit with you at lunch today," he pointed out to her. "Might not be much encouragement to you, but...he'll think it is."

"It's not like that. I'm not...we're _friends_," she insisted stubbornly. "He'll see that, eventually. He has to."

"_Eventually_ can mean later rather than sooner. I'd suggest coming up with a gentle let-down, so he doesn't pine," Sirius advised and he began to walk away from her again, effectively ending their conversation. "And stop following me, Vance, I might get the wrong impression..."

She scowled at him and chewed on her lip thoughtfully as he disappeared around the corner.

------------

"Hey—hey, Evans!"

Lily met Marlene's gaze and rolled her eyes; Marlene grinned.

"I'd be glad to take him off your hands," she whispered to Lily as James made his way over to them.

"He's all yours," Lily grumbled. "What, Potter?"

"Just thought I'd give the opportunity to refuse to go to Hogsmeade with me," he said cheerfully; Marlene snorted and pointed out dryly,

"Hogsmeade isn't until next month, James. You're asking awfully early."

He shrugged and grinned at the girls. "Wanted to get ahead of the crowd." He winked at Lily, who scowled back.

"_No_, Potter."

He sighed dramatically. "I thought as much. You _wound_ me, Evans."

"I doubt that," she said sarcastically. "Your ego has enough insulation to protect it from nuclear holocaust." James gave her a blank look and she sighed.

"Forget it, Potter. The answer is _no_ and I'm not changing my mind."

"I'll go with you, Potter," Marlene offered, winking at him. Lily glared at her and Marlene gave her a sweet smile.

"Thanks for the offer, McKinnon, but I'm afraid that Evans here has _demolished_ my poor, fragile heart. I may never recover."

Lily scowled again. "Potter—"

"While I would _love_ to stay and chat," he interrupted with a humorous glint in his hazel eyes, "I'm afraid I have to dash." Lily blinked and he was gone.

Marlene sighed wistfully, slid her arm through Lily's and they began to walk towards the Arithmancy classroom. "It's a dreadful shame that he has eyes only for you, Evans."

"It's not _me_ he likes," Lily protested. "He likes the chase."

Marlene rolled her eyes and was about to respond when something caught her eye. She stopped walking, forcing Lily to stop as well.

"What?" Lily asked, following Marlene's gaze.

"I guess James Potter isn't as exclusive as I originally thought," Marlene said, nodding to where James was talking animatedly to a pretty sixth year Ravenclaw. Marlene glanced at Lily hesitantly, as though trying to gauge her reaction. Lily stared at the two for a long, silent moment then said lightly,

"Excellent! Maybe he'll let up on asking me for dates and start bothering her instead."

Marlene raised her eyebrows but didn't argue. Lily tugged on her arm, saying, "We're going to be late for Arithmancy if we don't hurry."

---------------

Dinner after the first day of classes was much quieter than the dinner from the previous day. Emmeline was rubbing her temples, her bag filled with heavy, intimidating books; Lily had been absently chewing the same piece of celery for several minutes, and Marlene was simply staring at her goblet, eyes glazed over.

"Our teachers have lost their bloody _minds_," Emmeline muttered darkly, breaking the silence. Marlene jerked, as though she had violently pinched, and then slouched forward.

"You have loads of work as well, then?" Lily asked, frowning at her stick of celery and then putting it down on her plate.

Emmeline nodded and stabbed at her food with her fork. "Too much work. I'll be up all night finishing it."

"Did you find anything about the Meadowes in the library?" Marlene asked, blinking several times and rubbing her eyes tiredly.

Emmeline shook her head and sighed. "No. And I don't know if I'm going to be able to search _The Prophet_ anymore. Pince got a bit—short with me and I don't think she'll be too keen on letting me search the papers."

"What did you do to deserve that?" Lily asked.

"I wasn't doing _anything_!" Emmeline exclaimed. "I—why would you _assume_ that, Evans? That _stings_, that does." Lily rolled her eyes.

"So what were you doing when Pince threw you out?" Marlene wanted to know, taking a long sip of her pumpkin juice.

"I was _reading_! Honestly, the woman is bloody _loony_, she'll start shrieking at you for nothing..."

"She is a nutter," Marlene agreed. "So how do you plan on sneaking in the library from now on?"

Emmeline shrugged. "Cross my fingers and hope for the best? Maybe you should take over, Marlene...or you, Lily—"

"I can't; I have too much to do as it is," Lily reminded her. "Classes, Heads' meetings, patrolling, supervising the prefects..." she shook her head. "It's just not possible, Em."

Emmeline turned to Marlene and said hopefully, "Marlene?" Marlene winced.

"Much as I'd love to join you in the dusty old library, I can't right now."

"Why not?" Emmeline demanded, frustrated. "It was _your_ idea!"

"I know, I know...I will in a few days, there's just—something going on..." she mumbled and wouldn't meet Emmeline's eyes.

Emmeline groaned and rubbed her forehead exasperatedly. "So it's left to me, then? Don't you lot _care_ where Dorcas is? If she's alright?" Lily and Marlene exchanged guilty looks.

"Of course we care, Emmeline," Marlene said quietly.

"I'll try to squeeze in some time, Em," Lily offered apologetically.

Marlene nodded in agreement. "Sorry, Em."

She stared at the two of them and then grumbled something unintelligible under her breath, stabbing angrily at her dinner. The world seemed to be conspiring bloody _against_ her today.

------------

"What? You're _sitting_ with us?" James exclaimed teasingly as Peter dropped into the empty seat across from him. Peter gave him a small smile and shrugged.

"Looks like it," Remus said genially.

"So how was it?" Sirius asked, taking a swig of his pumpkin juice. "Sitting with the ladies?"

Peter exhaled heavily. "Awkward and uncomfortable." He gave a small laugh. "I don't know what I was thinking—someone like Emmeline Vance, liking _me_..." he shook his head derisively.

"Don't say that, Peter," Remus said, and for some reason, he frowned at Sirius. "Emmeline's not the kind of girl to dislike anyone."

Peter laughed again, this time with a barely noticeable note of bitterness. "That's not what I meant, Remus."

"Give her time, mate," James advised. "Maybe she'll come round."

"Like Evans?" Sirius said before he could stop himself. Peter's face fell.

"Sorry, mate," Sirius mumbled guiltily. "Maybe she _will_ come round. You should try talking to her."

"I've _tried_ that—"

"No," Sirius corrected. "You've sat next to her in silence; there's a difference, mate. What you need to try is having a bleeding _conversation_ with her. With actual _speaking_."

Peter looked at him hopefully, drinking in every word. "And then what?"

Sirius blinked, apparently not expecting this question. "And—what do you _mean_, 'and then what?' That's all."

"No, after we have a conversation," Peter clarified. "Then what?"

"Then," James interjected with a grin. "Then you've established yourself as her _friend_. That's highly important with women, Wormtail. They can never have too many _friends_."

Remus rolled his eyes as James continued, "Make her laugh—that's _key_, mate." Peter looked petrified at the thought of having to make Emmeline Vance laugh.

"But _don't_ try too hard," Sirius added. "That makes you look desperate, and then you'll only be pitied. And no offense, mate, but you looked bloody _despondent_ at lunch today. Wouldn't recommend trying that again."

"And—" James began, but Remus broke in, "Enough. I think Peter's got the point."

James, after throwing a playful scowl at Remus, launched into a detailed explanation of his latest idea for a prank that probably would never make it past the planning stages; Sirius found his eyes sliding down to where Emmeline Vance was sitting. She was arguing with Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon, long hair swishing around her shoulders as she looked from one girl to the other.

He snapped his gaze away from her and looked aimlessly around the now silent table; James was staring at him with a thoughtful frown on his face. When Sirius raised an eyebrow at him, James just shook his head and turned his attention to his plate.

----------------

"Padfoot, mate," James said quietly as the four settled in the common room. "A word?"

Sirius nodded, having expected this moment since James caught him staring at Emmeline Vance. He should really be more careful about where he let his eyes rest, he decided.

James leaned in closer, casting a wary glance at Remus and Peter. "You—you do _just_ fancy _shagging_ Emmeline Vance, yeah? Nothing else?"

Sirius snorted. "Afraid I'll aid in the breaking of Wormtail's heart, Prongs?"

"Well—yeah."

"Bloody hell, Prongs, we've discussed this before. I'm keeping my hands to myself, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah, you told Moony you wouldn't try to shag her," James agreed impatiently, looking over again at Remus and Peter, who were evidently deep in discussion. "But you _didn't_ say you would leave her alone."

"What're you going on about, Prongs?" Sirius demanded, sensing where this conversation was leading. "I can't be bloody _friends_ with her? Because Wormtail's harboring a _crush_?"

"That's not—you can't be _just_ friends with any pretty girls, Padfoot!" Sirius blinked at him.

"I wouldn't do that to Wormtail," he said, voice low. "He's one of my best mates."

"I _know_, Padfoot, I'm just saying—well, maybe you should just...not be yourself when you're around her. To discourage anything from—happening."

Sirius stared at him as though he had suggested a nice walk off the Astronomy Tower. "Why don't you just _say_ what you're thinking, Prongs? That I should be an arse? So Wormtail's lady love won't _fall_ for me?"

"Sirius—"

"Look," Sirius interrupted. "There's more of a chance of Emmeline Vance falling for Wormtail than for me. Does that rest your worries, Prongs?"

James shook his head. "No, but I guess it'll have to, yeah?"

"Yeah. It'll have to."

---------------

The next day during her free period, Emmeline stood outside of the library with a frown on her face. How was she going to do this? She tugged thoughtfully at her hair, going through how best to charm Madam Pince into giving her that key—after all, she really didn't want a repeat of yesterday's sparring with that _wanker_ Sirius Black.

"So what's your plan?"

She groaned inwardly. _Damn. Speak of the devil and he shall come_, she thought irritably. Sirius Black had sauntered up and was standing directly behind her, smelling of those distinctly _boy_ smells—like his soap. It was messing with her head and she resented him for it.

"Go away."

"That's an _excellent_ plan. Quite brilliant. Did Evans help you with it? It has her—unique touch."

"I don't need your help, Black," she ground out, tapping her foot against the stone floor.

"Of course not. That's why you're still standing out here."

"She'll give me the key if I ask politely," Emmeline snapped.

He laughed, not unkindly, but it made her nerves bristle all the same. "I look forward to it."

Something in his tone goaded her into squaring her shoulders definitely and storming into the library.

Madam Pince narrowed her beady eyes at Emmeline and Sirius. "What can I help you two with?"

"Madam Pince," Sirius said smoothly before Emmeline could open her mouth. "Terribly sorry to bother you, but we have a—a project that we need to use the newspaper archives for. Would it be too much trouble to ask for the key? Please?" His tone reflected his wealthy upbringing and Emmeline couldn't help but be slightly impressed.

Apparently, Madam Pince felt differently. She glared at Sirius and snapped, "I want a professor's note before I give you anything, boy!"

Seeming unruffled, Sirius responded, "Of course, Madam Pince. We'll just go study, then, until we see our—professor next." He inclined his head in thanks and, grasping Emmeline's arm, lead her to the back of the library. She could feel Madam Pince's squinty little eyes on her back as they retreated through the stacks.

"That was hardly helpful," she told him crossly once they were out of Madam Pince's earshot.

"Yes, it would seem that your plan failed miserably," he agreed, grinning easily at her and sitting at an empty table.

"My—_my_ plan?"

"That was your plan, wasn't it? To simply _ask_ for the key?"

She opened her mouth to blast him with an angry retort—but it _had_ been her plan. Thwarted, she glared at him and sat down across from him at the table.

"Fine," she snapped. "What's your brilliant idea?"

He glanced around and said, "Wait here." He stood and disappeared further into the back of the library.

Frowning, Emmeline drummed her fingers on the table until a fifth year girl several tables away shot her an annoyed look.

Sirius returned empty-handed. Emmeline leaned back in her seat and said sarcastically, "Well I'm thoroughly impressed with your _inspired_ plan, Black."

He rolled his eyes and motioned for her to get up and follow him. She glanced over at the fifth year, who was watching Sirius intently; scowling, Emmeline followed him.

And damned if he hadn't opened the bloody drawer _again_. Emmeline rolled her eyes heavenward and mentally asked what higher power she had offended. Sirius was watching her with a triumphant smirk on his face.

"Congratulations," she said sarcastically. "You can unlock a drawer. I'm highly impressed with your cleverness. Move."

He put his hand on his chest as though his heart—if he even_ had_ one, Emmeline thought acidly—might ache. "You do me an injury with your words, Vance." But he moved over.

She pulled on the **1900s** drawer and began to flip through the newspapers, trying to find where she had finished yesterday. Sirius leaned over her.

"Fancy some help, there, Vance?"

She gritted her teeth and wanted quite badly to tell where, exactly, he could stick his help; but her good sense forbade her. It would be quicker, she knew, to let him help; and that way, he was kept busy with something other than annoying her, an activity which seemed to be one of his current favourites. Having come to her conclusion, she pushed a thick stack of newspapers into his arms.

They had been searching _The Daily Prophet_ for a quarter-hour when Emmeline glanced up at Sirius and opened her mouth as though she wanted to say something; then she shook her head and went back to her paper.

"What?" Sirius asked without looking up.

She lifted her eyes from her paper once again. "What?"

"You're simply _itching_ to ask me something; what is it?"

She bit her lip and then burst out, "Have you noticed anything—_odd_ in your papers?"

"Define odd."

"Well—at first it was just in the small articles at the back, but it's been moving closer to the front; so I suppose it's getting more important—"

"What's your _point_, Vance?"

She exhaled. "Someone's attacking Muggleborns. Muggles, too, but the Ministry doesn't think there's a connection..."

Sirius frowned. "Attacks on Muggleborns? How many?"

She shrugged. "I'd say at least...thirteen since—"she reached over and flipped the first newspaper to its cover. "—June 16. It...seems odd. That's all."

"Thirteen attacks on Muggleborn wizards don't _mean_ anything, Vance," Sirius said, watching her face. "All it proves is that there are some demented wizards out there, obsessed with bloodlines."

"But—_thirteen_ attacks since mid-June, Sirius! This paper—" she shook the one she was currently reading at him, "—this paper is from mid-July, so that means thirteen attacks in a _month_!"

"Stop worrying about it, Vance," he said impatiently, and she could see that she had somehow hit a nerve. "It means nothing. And I thought you wanted to search the obituaries; why are you reading the headlines?"

She flushed, a bit angry with him for brushing off her concerns and responded tartly, "Those of us with the reading abilities above that of a six-year-old find it hard not to automatically read words put in front of us! I wouldn't expect you to understand, Black."

A thick silence fell over their table; Sirius' eyes bored into hers, and she half-expected him to simply leave. But he eventually broke the gaze and returned to his paper. She swallowed and did the same.

After several minutes ticked by, Sirius said, voice a touch gentler than before, "Look, Vance...it really _doesn't_ mean anything. Trust me. I grew up with those people...they'll get bored and move on in a few weeks." He sent her a reassuring smile, and she felt herself smiling back.

Gathering her courage, she asked tentatively, "What's your family like?"

His eyes narrowed and she immediately regretted the question; the atmosphere at the table had suddenly shifted from amiable to tense. "Why do you ask?"

"Curiosity," she said warily.

"They're purebloods who were all in Slytherin," he said flatly. "Does that answer your question?"

_No_, she wanted to say, but instead she just nodded mutely.

-------------

"Moony," James said, grabbing the other boy's arm as they walked out of class. "I talked to him. Last night, in the common room."

"What'd he say?" Remus asked, bracing himself and anticipating the worst

James shrugged. "He did an excellent job of avoiding promising _anything_, tell you the truth." He sighed. "I think Peter's done for. Honestly, if you were a girl—" Remus rolled his eyes. "—and you could choose between being Peter Pettigrew's girl and having a good shag with Sirius Black, which would you choose?""He looked at Remus expectantly.

"You don't _actually_ expect me to answer that, do you?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Suppose not. Sorry, mate." He ran his hands through his perpetually messy hair. "This isn't going to end well, I can feel it."

"Nonsense," Remus said briskly. "It's just a bit of romance, the damage won't be _permanent_." His words rang false to even his own ears but James was nodding, eager to believe him.

He looked over to where Peter was sliding in and out of the crowd of students to reach them and felt a pang of apprehension.

This wasn't going to end well. He could feel it.

------------

"Hurry up!" Emmeline hissed as Sirius shoved the last remaining papers back into their proper places. "She's coming over here!"

He gave her an exasperated look. "Would you stop _worrying_ so much, Vance? Relax." He shut the drawer and pulled on it to make sure it had locked.

Emmeline darted back to her seat; Sirius quickly followed her, pulling out the first book he touched from the shelf behind him and opening it in the middle. Emmeline leaned forward and when Madame Pince reached them, they were the picture of studiousness.

She glared at them and said furiously, "Be sure to put that book back in its proper place, boy." Sirius nodded and sent her what Emmeline assumed was his most charming smile. Madam Pince scowled at him as she walked away, presumably to ensure that the other students in the library were working; and Emmeline had to wonder what was _wrong_ with her; that smile would have certainly worked on _her_.

"So what're we diligently studying?" Sirius asked dryly, shutting the book and examining its worn leather cover. Emmeline raised her eyebrows expectantly. He gave her an odd look and passed the book to her so she could see for herself.

_Magick Most Evile_. Chills ran down her spine and, repulsed, she pushed the book back towards him.

"Didn't realise we were in the Restricted Section," she mumbled, not looking at him. When she did finally glance up, he was staring at her with an odd expression on his face.

"Come on," he said finally. "We should leave before we're late for class."

Feeling a bit better now that the conversation had steered itself back to familiar territory, she said lightly, "I was unaware of your dedication to your studies, Black."

He smirked at her. "There's a lot of things you're unaware of, Vance."

----------------

"Did you find out anything in the library today?" Lily wanted to know that night. Marlene perked up from her bed to listen.

Emmeline tied her hair back. Did she find out anything today in the library? She found out that Sirius Black didn't talk about his family and she found out that the fact that Sirius Black didn't talk about his family made her want to know everything she possibly could about them. Was that even _healthy_?

"No," she replied, pulling her cushy covers over her. "So far it's been a fat load of nothing. Still no word from Dorcas? Not even a slip of parchment?"

Marlene shook her head. "Nothing," she confirmed glumly.

"I'll keep looking," Emmeline offered. A small—_very_ small—voice in the back of her mind asked, _So you can spend more time with Sirius Black? _

No, she told herself firmly. There couldn't be anything further from the truth. In order to squash the annoying little voice, she added, "Any idea on when you lot can help out?" She could hear the note of sarcasm in her voice and from Marlene's grimace and the sudden tensing in Lily's shoulders, they heard it too.

"Nothing's changed since dinner, Em," Lily said patiently.

Well. So Sirius Black was still a necessity to finding out where their friend was. That was _all_, she added firmly. He was—well, a means to an end. After all, she reasoned defensively, Madam Pince was highly unlikely to give either one of them the key to that drawer and how else were they supposed to find out what had happened to Dorcas? Yes, she decided firmly, whether she liked it or not—and she quite assuredly did _not_ like it—Sirius Black and his handy unlocking knife were a necessary evil. But not a permanent one, she added quickly.

No. Definitely not a permanent one.

* * *

A/N: Don't forget to review! ;) 


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR, as always!

A/N: Please review! It'll make my day...and happy writers update faster...

* * *

Chapter Four 

_Sweet like candy to my soul_..._sweet you rock and sweet you roll_..._lost for you— I'm so lost for you. –Dave Matthews Band_

"You're late, Potter."

"I know, I know—I'm sorry, Evans, Quidditch ran late..."

"You're _Captain_! Quidditch ends when you say it ends!"

"It was _tryouts_, Evans; there were a lot of people—"

"I don't care; you're supposed to be here, on _time_—"

The prefects were watching the argument as though it were a highly contested tennis match, their heads swinging from alternately Lily to James. Remus Lupin finally cleared his throat and said, "Er—Lily? James? The meeting?"

Casting one final glare in James' direction, Lily smoothed her hair back in an attempt to regain her self-control and said, voice official, "Right. Well—first there's the patrolling duties..."

As the prefects become conscious that the dramatics of the evening had concluded, the atmosphere in the meeting room shifted from excitement to hazy boredom.

"Potter," Lily snapped as the meeting ended and the prefects trudged out sleepily. "Do _try_ arriving on time next meeting, will you?"

He groaned. "I already told you, Evans, Quidditch went on a bit longer than expected. And I wasn't that late."

"It doesn't matter _how_ late you were, Potter! We're supposed to set an example for the prefects—"

James cut her off by calling out, "Oy! Remus!" Remus, looking apprehensive as he neared the pair, said warily, "Yeah?"

"Do you feel as though mine is a good example for young prefects to follow?"

Remus laughed despite the angry scowl on Lily's face. "No, mate. Definitely not."

"That's not the _point_, Potter!"

"Oh? Then what was the point, Evans?"

"You were given a _responsibility_! You can't just—you can't just brush that off like it's _worthless_!"

"Evans. I'll tell McGonagall why I was late. She won't bloody _care_."

"That's _still_ not the point, Potter! Dumbledore put his _trust_ in you and you're—"

"I wasn't skiving, I was at bloody _Quidditch_. Give it a rest, Evans, and lighten up."

He turned to leave for the common room, and she followed him, fuming at his back the entire way.

----------------

Lily stormed over to where Emmeline was hunched over a small table far from the fireplace; she was frowning at her open Potions book and occasionally scribbling on her parchment. Still smarting over James _bloody _Potter, Lily huffed to her,

"Who does he _think_ he is?"

Without looking up, Emmeline said dryly, "I take it the prefects' meeting went well?"

"He's such an arrogant _prat_! I don't know _what_ Dumbledore was thinking, making him Head Boy!"

"What happened?" Emmeline asked, feeling as though she had had this conversation many times before.

"He was bloody _late_. And then he wouldn't even _apologize_! Or admit that he has a _responsibility_ as Head Boy to be at the meetings _on time_!"

"Lily," Emmeline said, looking up, alarmed. "You need to _relax_. Why was he late?"

"Bloody _Quidditch_."

"Well," Emmeline said soothingly, "they did have tryouts today; I would imagine that would take a bit of time—"

There was a great shout of laughter from near the fireplace; Lily and Emmeline both looked over. It seemed that a small crowd had gathered around the four boys sitting on the floor in front of the fire. Lily looked closer: Potter and Black were deep in a game of Exploding Snap.

"Really!" she snapped, green eyes flashing. "You're trying to study, other people are trying to sleep, and they're being so _loud_?"

Emmeline shrugged and returned to her Potions book. "It doesn't really bother me, Lily—what're you doing?" For Lily had gotten up and was making her way over to the center of the common room.

"_Some_ people are trying to study, Potter!" she said furiously.

"Lily," Emmeline whispered, grabbing her arm and pulling her somewhat back. "I don't _care_, you don't have to—" Lily ignored her and Emmeline suspected that she was just looking for a reason to let some of her frustrations loose on an unsuspecting James Potter.

Both James and Sirius glanced up at the two girls. "Were we bothering you, Vance?" James asked good-naturedly.

Emmeline shot a glare at Lily. "_No_," she said firmly. "You weren't bothering me. Please, carry on." And, yanking on Lily's arm, she led the other girl away from the fireplace. The crowd seemed almost disappointed that they weren't going to be privy to an entertaining argument.

"What's _wrong_ with you, Lily?" Emmeline demanded after they had returned to her table. "You're positively _obsessed_ with picking fights with James Potter!"

Lily stared at her dubiously. "I'm not obsessed," she defended.

"Yes, you are," Emmeline said, pulling her Potions book onto her lap and beginning to write on her parchment again. "You _want_ him to do something wrong so you can yell at him. Honestly, Lily, if you want to have a reason to talk to him, all you have to do is agree to go out with him."

Lily flushed. "Don't be absurd, Emmeline," she snapped. "I don't want to date James Potter."

"You keep saying that," Emmeline said slyly, "but you like to talk about him an awful lot."

Before Lily could protest, Emmeline continued brightly, "Now, if you're going to bother me, Evans, you might as well make yourself useful." She offered her quill to Lily. "List the uses of gillyweed for me? I have to finish this essay for Slughorn by tomorrow and I'm not _nearly_ done."

After casting one final look of loathing towards James Potter, Lily took Emmeline's quill and scribbled onto a scrap of parchment. "You struggling with Potions, Em?" Lily wanted to know concernedly.

Emmeline shrugged. "Not really _struggling_, just don't have enough time to do it. With Charms, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Herbology and Astronomy...I barely have time to _sleep_. I meant to do this essay during dinner, but I was doing Charms...which I was supposed to do during my free period."

"Did you spend all of your free period in the library?"

"Most of it," Emmeline admitted sheepishly.

"You need to take a break from trying to find out about Dorcas," Lily scolded gently. "She'll show up soon enough."

Emmeline nodded in hazy acquiescence; she wondered why her eyelids suddenly felt so heavy.

"And why are you taking Astronomy?" Lily wanted to know, reminding Emmeline of her mother. "You don't need that to be a Healer."

"It's one of my favorite classes," Emmeline said with a sigh, rubbing her temples. "I couldn't bear to drop it."

Lily was watching her with a worried expression on her face. "Give it here," she said finally, holding out her hand expectantly. Emmeline stared at her.

"What are you going on about?"

"Hand over your Potions essay," Lily said resolutely. "And go get some sleep."

"But—I thought you—Lily, you're just as tired as I am!"

Lily smiled a little. "Not right now, I'm not...I'll regret doing this in the morning, though, so I suggest you be extra kind to me at breakfast."

Emmeline didn't move for a minute, and then she threw her arms around Lily's shoulders, the table still between them. "You're a _doll_," Emmeline told her gratefully.

"Yes, yes," Lily said with a small laugh as Emmeline let go of her and began to gather up her other books from the floor. "Just don't—"

"Oh, like I'd be thick enough to tell anyone," Emmeline said disbelievingly.

---------------

"Wormtail, you're staring. She hasn't looked over here once all night; stop bloody staring at her."

"Sorry," Peter mumbled, shifting his gaze to the fire. Sirius shook his head.

"You've got it _bad_, mate," he informed Peter, who sighed.

"I know," he said mournfully. "It's horrible."

"Have you even had a proper conversation with her?"

"No. I can't think of anything to say."

Sirius shook his head. "Just—bloody _hell_, mate, just _talk_ to her."

"Right now?"

Sirius turned and looked over to where Emmeline Vance was sitting. She hadn't looked up once from the thick book on her table and was deep in the middle of writing something, pausing only to shake out her hand or to cover her yawning mouth.

"Nah, she's busy now...don't ever interrupt a girl when she's busy, she'll tear your head off," Sirius advised, turning back to Peter. He nodded, seeming to comprehend the dangers of this.

"How—how should I start?"

Sirius stared at him. "Generally, Wormtail, when people want to start a conversation, they begin with words like 'Hello' and 'how are you'. But those are just suggestions."

Peter smiled weakly. "Right. What if—"

The entrance to the common room swung open and Remus and James climbed through, followed closely by a scowling and very angry-looking Lily Evans.

"Evening, mates," James said cheerfully, looking thoroughly unconcerned that Lily Evans kept shooting him hate-filled glares; he sat next to Sirius and stretched. "Fancy a game of Exploding Snap?"

"I'll take you up on that," Sirius said, eager to get away from Peter's constant questioning on how best to land Emmeline Vance. Every time the lovesick bloke cast another forlorn look at her, a nasty worm gnawed on Sirius' stomach.

"Peter," Remus said gently as James and Sirius began their game. "You know you're staring, right?"

----------------

As the days slipped by without word from Dorcas, Emmeline noticed in _The Daily Prophet_ (which she was now reading daily during her free period in the library with Sirius Black, under the pretense of 'studying') that Sirius had been, in fact, wrong, about the attacks on Muggleborns.

_Look_, she kept saying, pointing at the articles, which were becoming more and more numerous as the pile of newspapers began to dwindle. _They're moving closer to the front; they're almost to the front page—that has to mean something, yeah?_

He brushed off her concerns and told her crossly that it meant nothing; she didn't believe him.

The days crept on and soon it had been a fortnight since the beginning of term and still no word from Dorcas. Emmeline was beginning to panic a little: she and Sirius had almost depleted the supply of newspapers.

"Would you stop worrying?" Sirius finally demanded. "You fidget when you worry and it's driving me _bonkers_."

She drummed her fingers on the table and said slowly, ignoring his previous statement, "It's been almost three weeks since term started and Dorcas still isn't back. There's nothing in any of the obituaries about anyone in her family, but—"

"Give it a rest," Sirius groaned, rubbing his forehead.

"You were wrong," she finished. His eyes snapped to hers.

"About what?"

"The attacks on Muggleborns," she said frankly, thrusting her newspaper at him. "They're getting worse; this one made the front page."

He snatched the paper from her and she watched his expression, looking for some kind of reaction.

"Still think it doesn't mean anything?" she asked him curiously. He handed the paper back to her and said flatly, "Congratulations, Vance—you were right. It does mean something."

She waited for him to continue; when he didn't she pressed, "What do you think—"

"_Shhhh!_" someone hissed irritably. Both Emmeline and Sirius looked over to where the sound had come. Amos Diggory was scowling at them, a thick Transfiguration book open on his table, his quill paused on what looked to be copious notes. "_Some_ of us are trying to study!" he added petulantly.

Before Sirius could give an angry retort, Emmeline whispered hurriedly, "Sorry, Amos...we're leaving." She shoved the papers back into their cabinet, and clamped down on Sirius' wrist, dragging him from the library. Madam Pince glowered at them as they left.

"Didn't know all it took was someone like Amos Diggory saying, 'Boo' to get you running scared," Sirius scoffed sarcastically to her once she had let go of his wrist. He rubbed absently where her hand had been as though she had burned him.

"It doesn't," she defended. "I want to know what you think about the attacks and if Amos had continued carrying on, Pince would've come nosing round."

"Why do you want to know what _I_ think about the attacks?" he asked.

"Because you're a pureblood," she replied easily.

"So is James."

"You _know_ what I mean, Black."

He scowled at her and ran his hands through his hair. Yeah, he knew what she meant and he didn't like it. He was in bloody _Gryffindor_, for Merlin's sake!

"I'm _not_ like them—" he began angrily.

"I _know_ that, Sirius," she said impatiently. "You're nothing like that lot, I _understand_. But that doesn't change the fact that you have all this useful inside information on how their minds tick."

He stared at her. "Why?" he said finally. At her look, he clarified, "Why do you want to know how the mind of the nutty and blood obsessed _ticks_?"

She hesitated and said after a long pause, "I'm Muggleborn, Sirius. Best know what I'll be up against come June, yeah?"

"You're not up against anything, Vance—"

Emmeline cut him off with a derisive laugh. "Did you even _read_ that article I showed you in the library, Black? The Ministry thinks all these attacks—only on Muggleborns and Muggles, mind you—are all the work of the _same wizard_. Or at least, the same wizard and his followers...and we can't stay at Hogwarts forever."

"But they could catch him by June—"

She laughed again. "He's been attacking people since _this_ June, Black. It's already September and all the Ministry knows is his _name_ and they won't even _say_ it, they're all so terrified of him..."

Unable to conjure any arguments against her logic, Sirius simply stared at her.

"Well?" she asked.

He shook his head at her, defeated. "Keep in mind, Vance," he warned, "that I'm _nothing_ like this lot..."

"Yeah, yeah, consider it kept," she said impatiently.

Feeling as though he was about to plunge into icy cold water, Sirius sighed and said, "There are different kinds of purebloods, Vance...the kind like the Potters, who don't give a rat's arse about blood and heritage, and the kind like the Blacks."

"Who _do_ give a rat's arse," she interjected and he rolled his eyes at her.

"Yeah, you're a brilliant one, Vance...what exactly can you not infer from that?"

Frustrated, she blew her fringe out of her face. "I just don't _understand_ how something as uncontrollable as _blood_ decides your status!"

He smiled wryly. "You're asking the wrong Black, Vance...I suggest you ask Regulus if you're so curious..." He fairly spat out his brother's name.

Emmeline shuddered in disgust at the mention of Sirius' younger brother; she didn't know how two people who were so different could have been brought up in the same household...but it was the same way with Lily and Petunia, so she supposed her confusion was a symptom of being an only child.

"Sorry I couldn't be of more help, then," Sirius offered. As an afterthought, he added, "I didn't know you were Muggleborn, Vance."

She nodded. "Yeah, my parents were shocked when I got my letter. Took a fair amount of pleading to get them to allow me to come here. Something about going to a respectable school...a Muggle school," she clarified at his confused look.

They began to walk aimlessly down the hall.

"What do they do?" he asked interestedly.

"Well—my dad's a doctor—a Muggle healer," she explained, eyeing him and wondering where this was going. "And my mum's a teacher—primary school. Mostly the eleven year old set. Why?"

"No reason," he said vaguely, but there was a wistful expression on his face that Emmeline doubted he was aware of.

"Sirius..." she began. The expression vanished and he seemed to sense where the conversation was heading.

"Don't," he warned. She blinked and plowed on, undaunted, "What's your family like?"

He groaned. "We've been over this, Vance...and I would think you would have gotten the picture from what we were _just_ discussing about purebloods..."

She refused to be dissuaded. "Yes, you told me what they _believe_, but not what they're _like_. Why does it bother you so much?"

He rounded on her and she actually took a step back, her back touching the stone wall; he looked _furious_.

"My bloody _family_," he snarled, "isn't like _yours_, Vance. My mum's not a bloody _teacher_ and my dad doesn't spend his days patching people up! _You_ were raised _differently_ from me!"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say _no shite, Sherlock_ but his eyes were fairly _blazing_ at her and she knew he wouldn't brush the remark off as easily as he had before. And really, she didn't fancy being transfigured into a teacup by Sirius Black simply because she hadn't the good sense to know when to keep her mouth shut.

"You—_you_—my parents _disowned_ me for refusing to believe that people like _you_ are inferior to people like me! Bloody _hell_, Emmeline, I was blasted off the damn family _tree_!" He stopped and she blinked, not fully understanding his ranting about his family tree—but she could tell it was a severe punishment from his face, which was now inches from hers.

"Sirius—"

"I'm living in a bloody _flat_," he continued, voice calmer but eyes still burning, "because my _mum_ refuses to let me back into our house."

"Would you want to go back?" she asked, keeping her eyes locked on his. "Would you _really_ want to go back to a place like that?"

He laughed humourlessly. "No," he admitted, pushing a hand through his black hair.

"Then why—"

"It's just the thought," he interrupted her. "The thought that I can't go home, no matter how much I _loathed_ the place. And trust me, Vance...that place was _hell_ for me."

He stopped and Emmeline felt a sudden, sharp stab of pity for him. In her mind's eye, she saw him as a small boy who only wanted his mother's love and approval...and she had barred him from his house. Compassion, swift and warm, flared in her heart and she just wanted to chase away that hopeless look in his eyes so—she kissed him.

He had a very nice mouth, Emmeline decided; and although he reared back in slight surprise, he kissed her back. Her view of him as a little boy vanished; he was _definitely_ not a little boy...and he was a _very_ good kisser...

----------------

"Hey Emmeline," came an anxious from over her shoulder that night at dinner. "Mind if I—if _we_ sit here?"

Emmeline turned, mouth half-full with biscuits. Peter Pettigrew was standing behind her seat, flanked by Remus Lupin, James Potter, and—_wonderful_—Sirius Black. She glanced over at Lily, who shrugged, and Marlene, who rolled her eyes towards the ceiling of the Great Hall—a clear, starry night—as if to say, _here we go again_.

Emmeline swallowed and mumbled, "Sure, go ahead."

Thankfully, there was enough room for all of them to sit without their elbows knocking against each other. Determinedly avoiding Sirius Black's gaze, Emmeline opened her mouth to say something to Lily when Peter said shyly, "How was your day, Emmeline?"

She blinked at him, feeling about of déjà vu. "It—it was good, Peter. Yours?"

"It was good, too," he said and she was surprised when he continued, "I heard your roommate Dorcas hasn't come back yet...is she alright?" Emmeline shot a look at Sirius, as if to say, _Thanks for opening your fat mouth._ He smirked at her and she felt her face grow hot as she remembered their...more _friendly_ actions in the corridor only hours ago.

"Speaking of Dorcas," Marlene cut in. "Have you found anything?"

"Nope," Emmeline sighed, reaching for another biscuit. "Nothing."

"I'm sure she's fine," Peter offered boldly. Emmeline, careful not to let her surprise show on her face, smiled at him encouragingly and felt Sirius' eyes on her. She pointedly ignored him.

"So Evans," James Potter said abruptly; Peter glared at him. "I didn't get a chance to ask you at the prefects' meeting but just out of curiosity...who's _your_ patrolling partner?"

Emmeline looked over at Lily and fought back a smile at her friend's tight grip on her fork. "I don't have one, Potter."

"That's hardly a good idea, Evans," James replied easily. "Pretty girls shouldn't wander corridors late at night, especially _alone_." He winked at her. "There are dangerous blokes wandering about, waiting to accost girls like you."

"So far, Potter," Lily said tersely, "the only one I'm worried about being accosted by is _you_."

Emmeline snorted into her pumpkin juice. James looked highly affronted.

"Now, Evans," he said, an overly hurt expression spreading on his face. "That's hardly fair...I wouldn't _accost_ you in a darkened corridor..."

"But in a well-lit one, all bets are off," Sirius added, smirking. Lily scowled at both of them and said loudly to Emmeline, "And you agreed to let them sit with us again _why_?"

Emmeline looked up and—_damn_, met Sirius' eyes. His smirk boardened; she looked away quickly, feeling a blush spread over her face.

"Half of them are tolerable," she mumbled.

Peter turned a bright red and a toothy, foolish grin split his face, glossing over the bit where she didn't really _name_ him as one of the more tolerable of James' friends. She _had_ to mean him; after all, it was perfectly obvious to the most casual observer that she didn't like Sirius—she could barely _look_ at him; and any friend of Lily Evans' wouldn't describe James Potter as "tolerable" within her earshot. His smile broadened hopefully and he thought maybe—_maybe_ there could be a chance.

--------------

"What're you going to do about your Peter Pettigrew problem?" Marlene asked Emmeline once they were alone in their dorm.

Emmeline blew out a long breath. "I have no _clue_," she admitted, rubbing her forehead and collapsing onto her bed. She was more concerned about her Sirius Black problem.

"You can't lead him on," Lily said sharply. "That would be downright _cruel_." _So is snogging one of his best friends when you know he fancies you_, jeered a voice in the back of Emmeline's mind. She felt a pang of shame.

"You think I _want_ to lead him on?" she asked disbelievingly. "I don't like him hovering around me constantly anymore than you lot!"

"Just _tell_ him that then," Marlene said impatiently. "I don't mind his friends, but Peter Pettigrew is bloody _annoying_ and I'll be thrilled when he stops fancying you so we can eat in _peace_." She punctuated this by snapping open her Charms book and unrolling a fresh roll of parchment.

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "It's not that simple, Marlene...I've got to figure out how to do it _gently_ but not so gently he doesn't—"

The door to their dormitory opened suddenly. All three girls turned.

Dorcas Meadowes stood in the door frame; there were dark smudges under her eyes and she looked much too thin.

"Hullo," she said wearily, dropping her trunk at her side.

* * *

A/N: I think that's a good place to leave it, yeah? Review...and maybe I'll see if I can get Chapter 5 up before _Deathly Hallows _on Saturday. :) 


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR, who is a literary genius, and who is not me.

A/N: In which I explain why Sirius was a bit of an arse on the train...

My dear readers...so few of you have reviewed! 500 hits and 8 reviews? All you have to do is drop me a line, a few small words—that's all I ask. I promise you, reviews really do make me want to update faster!

For those of you who have reviewed, you're lovely and I appreciate it!

This is a bit longer than the other chapters, so it should tide you over until _Deathly Hallows _(side note: tomorrow!!); enjoy! And _review._

* * *

Chapter Five 

_Go on, take the money and run. –Steve Miller Band_

"Hullo," Dorcas Meadowes said wearily, dropping her trunk at her side. She surveyed the room and smiled tiredly at her roommates' varying expressions of shock.

Marlene was the first to regain her power of speech. "Where've you _been_?" she demanded and at the question, Lily snapped out of her own surprise.

"Marlene!" she scolded. "We're not supposed—"

"I don't mind telling you," Dorcas said, covering her mouth as she yawned widely. "Just—I'm _beyond_ exhausted...can your curiosity wait until the morning?"

"Of course," Lily assured her comfortingly, her motherly nature taking over. "Take all the time you need, Dorcas; we understand." Marlene looked highly disappointed but she nodded in defeat.

"Been bloody _boring_ without you, Dorcas," Emmeline commented brightly as Dorcas climbed into her bed. She gave Emmeline a grateful, albeit weary, smile.

From the rustling sheets from Lily's constant shifting and the lack of Marlene's usual quiet snores, Emmeline knew she wasn't the only who couldn't sleep; but she doubted it was for the same reasons...she kept remembering the feel of Sirius Black's lips on hers...

_No_, she told herself firmly. _You and Sirius Black...it's not a good idea, Vance. It's a bloody terrible idea—and it would destroy Peter_...she felt a small twinge of annoyance. She didn't _owe_ Peter anything; he wasn't her boyfriend. He just fancied her and—well, she just didn't bloody owe him any loyalty. Still, her stomach rolled guiltily every time she remembered that _she_ had kissed _him_...

She finally fell asleep around the time dim light started peeking through their red curtains, only to be woken up hours later by Marlene shaking her impatiently.

"Wake _up_, Emmeline! Dorcas says she wants to tell us all together!"

Emmeline groaned and struggled to open her eyes. Blinking blearily at her clock, she shook loose hair from her face. Three hours of sleep.

Looking around the dormitory, she saw that she was not the only one who had been forced from sleep: Lily was blinking sleep out of her eyes and her red hair was sticking up in various spots.

"If only James Potter could see you now," Emmeline said dryly, stretching the tension out of her muscles.

"Shut up, Vance," Lily grumbled.

"_Both_ of you shut it," Marlene said irritably. "I want to know what's been going on."

"Where _is_ Dorcas?" Lily wanted to know, looking round.

"Shower," Marlene said and Emmeline glared at her.

"So you woke us up ten minutes too _early_?"

"No," Marlene defended. "She didn't want to wake you lot up; said she wanted you to sleep..."

"You should've let us sleep then," Emmeline complained, collapsing back against her pillows. "She'll tell us eventually." Marlene groaned and gave a pleading look to Lily, who sighed.

"Well, we're already awake," she said logically.

"Traitor," Emmeline mumbled, sitting back up.

When Dorcas came in, she was surprised to see Emmeline and Lily awake and said to Marlene, "I told you not to wake them up!"

Marlene shrugged innocently. "They're awake anyway."

"You don't have to tell us anything, Dorcas," Lily told her kindly, narrowing her eyes at Marlene.

Dorcas sighed and sat on her bed. "No, I want to...it's just...a long, hard story." She kept wringing her hands in distress.

They waited. Dorcas sighed again and then began, "I don't suppose you lot have noticed that there have been an increasing number of attacks on Muggleborn wizards?"

"I have," Emmeline offered. At Lily and Marlene's quizzical looks, she shrugged. "Well, I _have_."

Dorcas took a deep breath and said, voice breaking, "My—my parents—" she shook her head and several tears slipped down her face.

"Oh, damn," Marlene whispered, and she slid off her bed and climbed onto Dorcas'. A bit shocked, Emmeline followed, Lily close behind her.

Marlene's arms were around Dorcas' shoulders, Emmeline gripped her hands and Lily desperately patted her back.

Dorcas gave them a watery smile. "My mum was a Muggle and my dad was a half-blood," she continued, voice shaking slightly. "It—it was _horrible_. I—I had gone out with some friends...and I came back—" her voice broke and Marlene tightened her arms around Dorcas' shoulders.

Wiping at her eyes, Dorcas went on, "There was this—this _thing_ set over our house...or," she corrected herself bitterly, "what was _left_ of our house. There were Ministry officials everywhere, wanting to know where I'd been—I think they _wanted_ me to be the culprit..."

"Nonsense, why would they want that?" Lily asked gently, her hands still trailing soothingly up and down Dorcas' back.

"They didn't want it to be this—this wizard _terrorist_," Dorcas said flatly. "Even though he's been responsible for at least thirty different attacks on Muggleborns and Muggles..."

She took a deep, steadying breath and said, "Because I turned seventeen in May, I—I had to find a flat to live in. Dumbledore's been helping out quite a bit, helping me figure out how I'm going to pay my rent..." she brushed at her face again and laughed bitterly. "I'm only seventeen years old and I have to get a bloody _job_ to pay my _rent_..." The laugh turned into more tears; Emmeline felt completely unable to help in her any way and it broke her heart.

"And I'm just—still so _tired_," Dorcas whispered, her face streaked with tears. "I can't seem to get enough _rest_ even though I'm sleeping all the _time_...and I just—I just miss my _mum_, you know?" And she collapsed against Marlene, who looked on the verge of crying herself.

"Dorcas," Emmeline said, voice more stable than she felt, "you stay here and rest today. Sleep all you want, skive off lessons, and just don't _worry_ about it. We'll collect your work for you...you just stay here and _rest_. Sound good?" She tilted her head down to look into Dorcas' dark eyes.

"Yeah," Dorcas said softly. "Thanks, Em."

Emmeline shook her head, brushing off her thanks. "We're here for you, Dorcas—whatever you need, understand?"

One by one, they left the room.

Pale, Lily said quietly as they made their way to the Great Hall for breakfast, "We just _saw_ her parents in June...at the train station...remember, Em? They were waiting for her, to take her out to dinner for a belated birthday celebration...her dad was practically _beaming_, he was so glad to see her..."

"I remember," Emmeline said quietly. "And the summer before that, they had all of us over to their house in Hastings...her mum was so _nice_, made us waffles every morning for breakfast, remember? Always smiling, her mum..."

Marlene gave a sniffle. "Who would _do_ this?" she demanded tearfully. "Who would give a _damn_ about the Meadowes' heritage? What does it bloody _matter_?"

Emmeline sighed and told them wearily about the articles in _The Daily Prophet_.

"I thought you said there were no obituaries," Marlene said as they reached the Great Hall. She sounded as though she had a bad cold.

"There weren't," Emmeline confirmed thoughtfully. "To respect their privacy, maybe?"

They sat down in three empty chairs and Emmeline stared at her plate as it filled with bacon, eggs and pancakes. The sight of it made her feel queasy. She looked up and saw that Lily was staring at her own plate in similar disgust.

"Not hungry?" Emmeline asked her.

"Not in the least," she said flatly. Marlene shook her head.

"We should take some of this up to Dorcas," she decided, beginning to scrape the food from their plates onto hers.

Lily rested her head on her palms. "Really, Marlene, if _we_ can't even eat, do you really think _Dorcas_ can?" Marlene stopped piling the food onto her plate.

"Right," she mumbled, setting her fork down, defeated.

------------------

"Oy! Oy, Vance!"

Under normal circumstances—especially given recent..._events_—Emmeline would have groaned inwardly at the sound of Sirius Black's voice, possibly blushed and then demanded what he wanted. But now, she could barely summon up enough curiosity to turn around.

"What, Black?" she asked tonelessly.

He approached her, eyes flickering to the empty hall behind her. "Aren't we going to the library?"

"No," she said flatly, turning back around and making her way back to her dorm to check on Dorcas.

He reached out, took her wrist and trapped her loosely against the wall. "Are we going to have a repeat performance of yesterday then?" he asked flirtatiously, fingers reaching forward to play with her hair.

She didn't even have the energy to blush. "No," she repeated, pushing him off her and continuing on her way to the Gryffindor tower. He frowned at her back.

"What's wrong with you?" he wanted to know, falling into step beside her.

She stopped again and faced him. "Just go _away_, Sirius. Some things aren't your concern." Ignoring the confusion on his face, she continued on her way up to the dorm, grateful when she heard his footsteps fade as he walked in the opposite direction.

"Hey Dorcas," she called out softly, opening the door to her dorm room. "How're you feeling?"

Dorcas was sitting on the floor, surrounded by her books. "I'm doing alright," she said briskly, scratching onto a piece of parchment on her lap. "Trying to keep busy so I don't think about it. Lily brought by some of the work I've missed." She gestured to the intimidating stack of papers and books next to her.

"You know," Emmeline said, watching her with worry on her face, "there's nothing wrong with thinking about it..."

"Everyone keeps saying that," Dorcas said with a sigh. "But I don't _want_ to think about what happened. It—" she took a deep breath, "it's too painful, you know?"

Frowning but yielding, Emmeline sat down in front of her and pulled one of the books onto her lap. "What're you working on?"

"Potions first," Dorcas said, holding up her parchment. "It's more methodical...you don't have to actually be present in class..."

"Dorcas," Emmeline said gently, leaning forward, elbows resting on the book in her lap, "you don't have to start working right now. I'm sure the professors will understand."

Dorcas' quill trembled a little as she continued writing. "I don't want to get behind," she said softly.

"I know, but you really think me, Lily, and Marlene will let you fall too far behind?"

"Emmeline..." Dorcas whispered pleadingly. "I can't be idle...I think about—about _them_ too much if I don't have anything to keep me busy...wouldn't you rather be kept busy so you didn't have to think about—something like that?"

Emmeline stared at Dorcas, at the way she was gripping her quill too tightly, at the dark circles under her eyes, and she suddenly couldn't quite breathe.

"I—I'll be right back," she lied, standing clumsily and bolting from the room.

She made it all the way down to the common room before deep, painful sobs wrenched themselves from her. She stumbled over to a couch before her legs gave out completely; all she could think about was her mother and what she would do if the unthinkable happened.

She buried her face in hands, feeling the wetness of tears on her face. She had never wanted her mum this _badly_ before; she had never been the type to get homesick much. But now she found herself wishing she was at her house; her mum grading papers at the kitchen table and laughing at her dad's pathetic attempts to cook. She thought about Mrs. Meadowes, who was _always_ smiling and laughing and the tears came fast. _Damn it—_

The portrait hole was opening; Emmeline swiped at her face even while knowing it was hopeless—whoever walked in would know instantly that she had been crying.

_Damn it_, she thought again. _Of course _it would be Sirius Black, because now her day was simply _perfect_. She used the edge of her sleeve to desperately continue wiping at her face, hoping uselessly that he wouldn't notice.

"Vance? What're you—what the hell _happened_ to you?"

She groaned and buried her face in her palms. "Just go away, Sirius," she pleaded, her voice muffled through her fabric of her robes. He ignored her and kneeled down in front of her, gently prying her hands away from her face. She turned her face away from him—why couldn't he just take a _hint_?

"What _happened_?" he repeated, and when she finally did look at him, she saw that he actually looked worried about her.

She swallowed hard, her throat hurting. "Dorcas came back last night," she finally said quietly. His eyebrows knitted together; but he didn't question her, just waited for her to continue.

"The reason she was gone so long...her—her parents—they're—" Emmeline couldn't go on for the fresh tears that spilled down her face, and, exhausted, she collapsed against the couch, one hand going to her forehead.

She felt the cushion beside her sag under new weight and then she found herself engulfed by a pair of strong arms and Sirius Black's unique, boy smell. The idea of how pathetic she must look if Sirius Black felt enough pity to bloody_ hug_ her made her hands clench into frustrated fists, and she gripped Sirius' robes with every intention of shoving him away—but she couldn't bring herself to follow through.

His hands slid up and down her back, mirroring Lily's actions that morning with Dorcas. His breath tickled her ear as he whispered meaningless, comforting words to her and she found that her tears had slowed.

Slowly, as though he didn't want to unleash a fresh wave of tears, Sirius said, "Dorcas is back?" His hands continued trailing up and down her back soothingly.

She nodded into his chest. "Yeah...she came back last night."

"And her parents—they're—?" he trailed off, as unable to say the word as she had been. She nodded again.

"Yeah."

He exhaled and his breath ruffled her hair. "Why didn't we see it in _The Prophet_?"

Emmeline shrugged and was silent. She felt Sirius rest his chin on the top of her head.

"Are you alright?" he asked her quietly.

She didn't answer for a long time; _was_ she alright? She was certainly better than Dorcas...after all, Emmeline knew her own pain stemmed from Dorcas' greater pain; and she would see her own mother at Christmas holiday.

"Yeah," she said finally. "I'll be fine." She waited for him to drop his arms, waited for him to leave because in her experience—limited though it was—most boys didn't like to be around crying girls for too long. She waited—and he didn't move, except to draw her in closer.

She wanted very much to stay like they were—but she didn't know what time it was, and if classes let out soon and they were caught in here like this...not only would it break Peter Pettigrew's heart, but she would have to explain about Dorcas' parents to curious onlookers. She very much doubted Dorcas was ready to be the subject of the school's ruthless gossip mill.

Making up her mind, she pulled away from Sirius and brushed off the last remains of her tears. "I should go back up," she told him, straightening her robes and smoothing her hair. "Check on Dorcas."

He nodded, his eyes hooded, his expression unreadable. "Yeah. You should."

Emmeline was halfway up the stairs back to her dorm when she turned suddenly, remembering something. "Oh and Sirius?"

He was still sitting on the couch. "Yeah?"

She hesitated then said, "Don't—don't share this with everyone, yeah?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "About Dorcas' parents?"

"Yeah. Don't spread it around."

He looked offended. "I wouldn't do that, Vance."

She really didn't think he would, but the cynical part of her pointed out that just because she had snogged him in an empty hallway didn't mean she really _knew_ him all that well.

"Thanks," she said quietly. "For—_everything_." And she emphasized the word 'everything' so that he would know that she really did appreciate the fact that he had just held her through one of her worst crying spells.

-------------------

"Prongs," Sirius said in a low voice after Remus and Peter had fallen asleep. "Need to talk to you."

James rolled over and blinked at him. "What's so important that you had to wait until bloody 1 AM to tell me?"

"Dorcas Meadowes."

"What about her?"

"She's back."

James sat up straight in his bed. "How do you know?""

"Vance told me."

James frowned at him in the darkness. "What're you playing at with her, Padfoot? You know Wormtail's—"

"Yes, yes, Wormtail's madly taken with her," Sirius interrupted impatiently. "You're not _listening_, Prongs. Dorcas Meadowes didn't come to school for so long because her parents _died_."

James gaped at him. "H—how?" he asked faintly.

"Murdered by this bloke—this _Voldemort_. Ministry's deadly scared of him, and he's attacking Muggleborns and Muggles."

"How do you _know_ this, Padfoot?"

"Because I read the bloody _newspaper_, Prongs. Point is..." Sirius hesitated and then went on, "at the train station, when we were about to get on the Hogwarts Express...Regulus pulled me aside and showed me something."

Sirius had James' full attention now. "What? What was it?" he wanted to know anxiously. Anything Regulus wanted to show _Sirius_ could only mean trouble.

"It was this—this _thing_ on his arm...a kind of skull, with a snake going through it. It's the exact same as what's been set over the houses where people have—_died_."

There was silence following this extraordinary announcement.

"Prongs."

"Yeah, mate."

"If Regulus is involved in _any_ way with what happened to Dorcas' parents..."

James shook his head disbelievingly. "I won't even hold you back, mate."

They were quiet for a minute then James said slowly, "If Regulus is involved with this shite, then—other Slytherins are, too, I'd bet my wand on it."

Sirius sat up in bed and met James' eyes.

"Snivellus," he said instantly. "He _has_ to be, he's up to his greasy head in the Dark Arts—"

"And he throws around words like _Mudblood_," James added, eyes flashing; and Sirius knew what he was remembering.

"Probably the rest of his disgusting group of friends—"

"Waiting to jump Muggleborns in the hallways, after class..." James exchanged a dark look with Sirius.

"The question is..what do we do about it?"

------------------

Two weeks passed by without seeing Dorcas return to class and her roommates were worried about her.

"She needs to get out," Marlene announced at breakfast, sliding a fair amount of butter onto her piece of toast.

"Not if she isn't ready," Lily argued. "She'll start to do things on her own time."

They both looked at expectantly Emmeline, who was in the middle of chewing her bacon.

Swallowing, she said carefully, "I think Dorcas may a need a—a small push towards getting out, Lily."

"She'll do things when she's _ready_," Lily insisted stubbornly.

"We won't _force_ her," Marlene pointed out exasperatedly. "We'll just..._encourage_ her."

"To do _what_? There aren't any Hogsmeade weekends coming up until next month."

"There's the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match on Saturday," Emmeline reminded her. "Everyone'll be too excited about the match to care that Dorcas is there."

"Exactly!" Marlene said, pointing her butter knife at Emmeline excitedly. "She can enjoy a lovely round of Quidditch—"

"The Gryffindor-Slytherin match isn't exactly what I would call a _lovely round of Quidditch_," Lily grumbled. "More like a bloody _war_. But fine. If you think she can handle watching a bunch of _morons_ on brooms..."

"Excellent," Marlene said briskly. "We're all in agreement then."

------------------

"The Gryffindor-Slytherin match?" Dorcas repeated, looking wary. "I don't know..."

"You don't have to, Dorcas," Lily assured her, tossing an _I told you so_ look over at Marlene and Emmeline. "Not if you don't want to."

"Dorcas," Emmeline said quietly, moving closer to the dark-haired girl. "You _don't_ have to go if you don't want to. But...it might take your mind off things. Might cheer you up a bit."

"It's just a Quidditch match," Marlene added, seeing that Dorcas was wavering. "You'd enjoy it, you know you would."

Dorcas sighed. "Alright. I'll go." She smiled at Lily. "Maybe it'll even be fun."

"That's the spirit!" Marlene said encouragingly, grinning.

---------------------

That Saturday, there was a high energy running through the school. Three-fourths of the school donned vibrant hues of red and gold and cheered as the Gryffindor team members entered the Great Hall, James Potter at the lead. He flashed Lily a wink as he passed her; she scowled and said under her breath to Emmeline, "He's so bloody _arrogant_."

"He _is_ brilliant at Quidditch," Emmeline reminded her fairly.

_"Still_. It's infuriating." She bit into her sausage angrily.

"Evans," Emmeline said brightly, mood elevated by the atmosphere of the Great Hall. "We've _had_ this conversation before. Just go _out_ with him if you like him so bloody much."

Dorcas choked on her toast. "_What_?"

"She's not serious," Lily assured her darkly.

"Sure I am," Emmeline said, grinning as Lily scowled at her. "Oh, come off it, Evans. You're taken with him and deep—very deep—down, you know it as well as I do."

"I'm not dignifying that with a response," Lily said primly, narrowing her eyes at Emmeline, who shrugged indifferently.

As students began to finish breakfast, they began to file out of the Great Hall towards the Quidditch pitch.

Marlene fairly skipped over to the stands, standing right at the front and breathing in deeply. "I _love_ Quidditch!" she exclaimed, eyes dancing.

"You're a bloke's _dream_, McKinnon," Emmeline told her with a laugh, going over to stand next to her.

Dorcas was standing behind them, looking a bit apprehensive. "People keep staring at me," she said softly to Lily, who squeezed her hand encouragingly.

"It'll pass," she said.

As if on cue, a hush went over the crowd as the two teams entered the field. Madam Hooch could be seen telling James Potter to shake Theodore Nott's hand and Emmeline held in a laugh at the completely disgusted expression on James' face.

"And they're off!" shouted the commentator, voice magically enhanced, as the Gryffindor and Slytherin team members became blurs of red and green.

"Budge up, Evans," Sirius Black said impatiently, coming to stand behind Lily.

Remus Lupin rolled his eyes and gave Lily an apologetic smile and Peter Pettigrew simply ignored her, eyes sliding to her other side and resting on Emmeline, who had her arm linked with Dorcas and was in the middle of making a bet with Marlene. The commentator could be heard in the background; Slytherin had just let through a tricky goal from James Potter and roar came from the sea of red.

"Hey, Emmeline!" Peter squeaked, trying to unsuccessfully to squeeze in between Lily and Emmeline. Emmeline glanced behind her and, eyes meeting Lily's for the briefest moment, replied,

"Hey Peter..."

Lily shook her head and turned her attention back to the game. Gryffindor was in possession of the Quaffle, about to score—

"Excellent!" Sirius yelled, leaning over the stands as the score became twenty-zero, Gryffindor. "Atta boy, Prongs!"

Emmeline glanced over at him from across Lily—the breeze ruffling his black hair, his eyes alight with competition—and quickly looked away as Marlene called out,

"Hey Vance, five Sickles says Potter gets knocked in the head with a Bludger!"

Grinning, Emmeline reached over Dorcas to shake Marlene's hand as the score changed again, thirty-zero Gryffindor. The solid green mass across the pitch groaned as their Chaser was slammed in the head with a Bludger, the Quaffle eagerly seized by a Gryffindor Chaser and tossed easily into the Slytherin goal. Forty-zero, Gryffindor...

Without warning, the Gryffindor Seeker shot into a speedy dive, the Slytherin Seeker close on his heels...but the red blur was faster, pulling out of the dive with a small gold ball clenched in his fist.

The sea of red erupted into deafeningly loud cheering.

------------------

"Admit it, Meadows," Emmeline said, grinning and tossing an arm around Dorcas' shoulders as they made their way back to the Gryffindor Tower, where a massive party awaited, "you're glad you went to the match."

Dorcas smiled in spite of herself and was about to respond when someone from behind them jeered,

"Aw, poor Meadowes...she's a little orphan now..."

All four girls turned, Marlene and Emmeline whipping out their wands. Dorcas had turned a ghostly white and there were twin red spots of anger staining Marlene's cheeks.

Regulus Black—looking _extraordinarily_ like his brother, Emmeline noticed—was sneering at them, flanked by a sixth year Slytherin and—Severus Snape. Emmeline narrowed her eyes at him.

"It's awfully sad about your parents, Dorcas," Regulus continued maliciously, "but really, your dad should've known better than to marry a _Muggle_—"

"Shut it, Black," Marlene snapped, gripping her wand so hard Emmeline was surprised it didn't snap in two.

"I'd be careful if I were you," Snape said smoothly. "You're a Muggleborn, McKinnon. Wouldn't want the same thing to happen to you, would we?"

Marlene's eyes flashed and she took a menacing step towards him. "Is that supposed to _frighten_ me, _Snivellus_?" she demanded. Snape's eyes glittered angrily at the nickname.

"Enough!" Lily shouted, stepping between them, glaring at the Slytherins. "Twenty points from Slytherin, and if you don't _leave_, it'll be _fifty_."

Snape outright laughed at her; Regulus sneered, "You think docking points can scare us? Try again, _Mudblood_."

Lily paled and said, voice deathly quiet, "Fifty points from Slytherin."

"You heard the lady, Regulus, Snivellus," came a voice from behind the girls. Emmeline didn't dare take her eyes off of the Slytherins, expecting any moment for curses to start flying; but she didn't really need to turn to know that once again, Sirius Black was rescuing her. The look on Snape's face was one of pure loathing.

"I suggest you leave before the rest of your House starts wondering where your points went...not that there were that many to begin with."

"Or what?" Regulus taunted, but he looked more shaken by his brother's appearance than by the thought of Slytherin's fifty lost points.

Sirius drew his wand and said, "Leave."

Regulus seemed as though he was about to say something akin to _make me _when Snape interrupted, "We'll leave Black to his—_heroism_, Regulus." He turned and left the hall.

Looking like a deflated balloon, Regulus scowled at Sirius and followed Snape.

"Arsehole," Sirius muttered, pocketing his wand.

Dorcas was ashen, staring at the spot where Regulus and Snape had stood. "I—I need to—go," she mumbled, turning blindly and running directly into Sirius, who steadied her.

"You alright, Meadowes?" he asked concernedly, peering into her eyes. She blinked at him. He sighed.

"Let's get you back to the tower, then," he said, steering her in front of him and leading her towards the common room.

Emmeline felt a warmth rush through her veins as she followed behind them, listening to Sirius gently pry weak laughter from Dorcas with whatever story he was now telling.

What was _wrong_ with her?

-------------------

She sought him out that Monday during their shared free period; he wasn't hard to find—almost as though he _expected_ her to come searching for him after Saturday's events.

He was sitting in the library, and she was shocked to see he was actually _working_, his Astronomy book open on the table, his quill out. As she approached, he threw the quill down and frowned at the book.

"Having trouble?" she asked voice quiet. She really didn't want Madam Pince swooping down on them, demanding to know what they were doing, _talking_ in a library.

He glanced up at her and shook his head. "I _hate_ Astronomy," he informed her, mouth going down in one corner.

"Then why'd you take it?" she asked, sitting down across from him and pulling her own book out, glancing around as she did. Amos Diggory was sitting not too far away; she'd have to keep her voice low to have this conversation. "It's not required."

He shrugged. "I _used_ to like it, before this year's N.E.W.T.S. Sinistra was a bit more tolerable last year."

She laughed a little and said, "Sinistra's not that bad. But I know how you feel...I remember when I thought I was somewhat _good_ at Potions." She shook her head. "Now I have to read Lily's notes just to understand _my_ notes. I don't even _listen_ to Slughorn anymore; I don't understand half of what he's saying."

He grinned at her and then, sobering, said, "Why're you here, Vance? Surely not just for a chat about the woes of seventh year?"

Her smile wavered a bit. "I—I just wanted to thank you. For what you did for Dorcas. With your brother."

Sirius' face tightened. "Regulus is stupid _bastard_ and Snape—he's just an arsehole, " he said flatly. "And you shouldn't let them bother you."

Emmeline sighed. "Hard to not let them bother me when Dorcas spent half the night crying because of what they said to her," she told him quietly. "But—still. Thank you." She laughed again. "Seems I keep having to thank you for things."

He shrugged. "Don't mention it," he said almost off-handedly, picking his up his quill. She watched him for a second and then said, voice almost inaudible, "Sirius—"

When he looked back up at her, she leaned forward and chastely kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she repeated, standing and walking away from his table.

As she left the library, she could hear his footsteps behind her. Well. She hadn't really meant for him to _follow_ her.

"Vance," Sirius called out once they had cleared the library.

She stopped and waited for him to catch up to her, which, given his height, didn't take long.

He didn't let her dwell in curiosity as to why he had followed her: as soon as he reached her, his mouth covered hers.

Emmeline had the vague thought that right outside the library doors was _not_ the best place for a bit of covert snogging, and she—quite reluctantly—broke away from Sirius, saying, a bit breathlessly, "We're in front of the _library_, Sirius..."

He grumbled something quite rude about the library into her hair but nevertheless, pulled her into a nearby empty corridor, fusing his mouth over hers again.

Merlin, how did he _do_ this? Emmeline wondered, her mind foggy. His mouth worked over hers; one of his hands was in her hair, the other at her waist and his tongue was in her mouth, and she could only imagine what they would look like to an innocent passer-by.

He turned his attention to her neck, and she said, her voice far less firm than she would have liked, "Sirius—this—anyone could walk by—"

He silenced her rather effectively by returning his mouth to hers and, defeated, her arms wound around his neck.

--------------

Dorcas came down to dinner that night, head lifted, hands clenched. The look on Marlene's face, once she had taken over the position as Dorcas' guard, simply _dared_ people to ask her where she'd been.

Lily was watching, not Dorcas, but Emmeline with a concerned expression. She had barely touched her food, and kept spinning her fork round on her plate absently, her eyes glazed over.

"You alright?" Lily asked her quietly. Emmeline jerked out of her stupor and blinked several times.

"Yeah," she mumbled, tugging at her hair. "I'm fine. Just—a bit tired, is all. I think I'm going to tuck in early, yeah?"

Lily nodded approvingly. "See you later, then, Em."

Rubbing her forehead, Emmeline left the Great Hall. She was confused—_damn_ Sirius Black and her own _stupid_ inability to leave him _alone_.

"Hey—hey, Emmeline," someone called out, coming over to her.

She was so mixed up, tired to her very _bones_ and she hated whoever it was standing between her and her bed just a bit. She looked up. Amos Diggory was shifting anxiously from one foot to the other.

"Oh—hey Amos," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes; he smiled a little.

"Can I talk to you a minute?"

"Actually now's not a really good time—" she sounded as though she had a head cold; come to think of it, maybe she did have one...she should probably go to Madam Pomfrey and get some Pepper-Up Potion...and some for Dorcas too, she could use it more than Emmeline anyway...

"It's important," he insisted, interrupting her long train of thought. "And it won't take long."

Sighing she stopped walking and turned to face him. He wouldn't meet her eyes and he was flushing, as though it was taking all of his will to say this to her.

"Look, I—I just noticed you've been spending a lot of time with Sirius Black and, well...it's just that I—" he stopped and she said impatiently,

"There's nothing going on between me and Sirius Black," she informed him flatly; and it was a mark of emotionally numb she was at the moment that she didn't feel a pang of guilt for telling such a nice bloke such a blatant lie.

"Good," he burst out, suddenly meeting her eyes, his own flashing with righteous indignation. "Because I heard him tell James Potter he wanted to shag you."

* * *

A/N: Oh, Amos... 

I promise, Lily/James is on the way...just be patient! Also, I'm terrible at sports writing, so I apologize for the atrocious attempt...it was necessary to get Dorcas out and about, you understand. :)

Review!


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: JKR owns the Harry Potter universe; I am not JKR...you can do the math, yeah?

A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed _Deathly Hallows_!

So I recently realised that there's a fairly big mistake in this story and because I _hate_ when authors stray from canon, I'm going to own up to it, apologise, cross my fingers and hope that it doesn't take away from your enjoyment of the fic.

According to Dumbledore in _Philosopher's Stone,_ Voldemort started rising to power eleven years before Harry was born...so James, Lily, Sirius, etc. all would have been around ten years old. So I've decided that for the purposes of this story, Riddle spent those first seven or so years building his army and doing less-notable evil (things that wouldn't have really caught the Ministry's attention) to build his reputation as Most Horribly Evil Wizard Ever. Sound believable? I'm very, very sorry I didn't get my facts straight before writing...

I was going to include my opinion on _DH,_ but seeing as this A/N is already much too long (and this chapter the longest one so far)...enjoy Chapter Six and don't forget to review (and since this chapter is so incredibly long, I expect extra long reviews!).

* * *

Chapter Six 

_Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.—Charlie Brown_

Emmeline Vance had only ever been kissed four times in her life. Her first had come the summer before her fourth year at Hogwarts; he had had kind brown eyes and had been her next-door neighbour ever since she could remember. It had been raining and they were sharing an umbrella; he had leaned forward and kissed her, consequently dumping the rain water that had collected on the top of the umbrella down her back. It had been a most unromantic experience.

Her second had been dryer, but not much of an improvement upon the first. It was her first serious relationship with a boy—a Hufflepuff who blushed every time he held her hand. It was after he kissed her under mistletoe at Christmas that she realised there was really no sparkle of chemistry between them and she ended the relationship as gently as she could. She didn't think he'd minded all that much; soon after Christmas, she had spotted him snogging a Ravenclaw fifth year.

Both of the two most recent kisses, she'd ended up pinned to a wall with Sirius Black's hands in her hair and his mouth on hers; it was the memory of these two that made her fists clench and her blood positively _boil_. Not because they had been such atrocious kisses—they'd been rather good; even in Emmeline's limited experience, she'd realised that Sirius Black was a highly talented kisser...no, it was because she had thought she had _meant_ something to him, _damn _it, and it turned out that he was just as much an _arsehole_ as she had originally thought.

Her conscience flared, reminding her that two snogs in empty corridors—the first one of which _she_ had initiated, thereby granting him permission to initiate the second one—were hardly worth _anything_. And he'd been so sweet, so _sympathetic_ when he'd found her crying on a lonely couch in the common room—

Because he wanted to get into her knickers!

—and he'd rescued them from Regulus and Snape only that very afternoon.

Because he wanted to get into her knickers!

But, her conscience reminded her, it would've been easier for him to try to get into her knickers while in the middle of a heated snog...he clearly wanted to at least be her friend...

Amos Diggory _heard_ him say it! _He wanted to get into her knickers!_

Well, most boys want to get into girls' knickers, her conscience pointed out sensibly. That was hardly news—

_Everything_ had been an act, had been a lie—his help searching _The Daily Prophet_, his arms around her in the common room, the snogging from _just this afternoon_—he was just a damn little _liar_.

But—her conscience protested; she ignored it, her mind was made up.

She was _finished_ with Sirius Black.

-------------------

"What's wrong with you?" Lily asked as Emmeline slammed her books down next to Lily's.

"Nothing," Emmeline replied shortly, sitting down next to her. Eyebrows raised sceptically, Lily took in her friend's blazing eyes, clenched fists and set jaw.

"You're lying," Lily decided. "Are you going to enlighten me or do I have to force it out of you?" She brandished her quill at Emmeline in a mock-threatening manner.

"I'm fine," Emmeline snapped. "Just let it alone, Lily."

Lily blinked, a bit stung. "Alright," she said softly as Professor Slughorn called out from his desk, "Settle, settle..."

As he stood to begin the class, the door to the dungeon swung open and James Potter, followed closely by Sirius Black and Remus Lupin, entered.

"You boys," he said, frowning at the three, "are late."

"Sorry, Professor," James said quickly. "It won't happen again."

Slughorn motioned them impatiently over to the only empty seats left in the class—Lily stifled a groan—right across from where she and Emmeline were sitting. She felt Emmeline stiffen beside her.

"Ladies," James said pleasantly, dropping his stuff on the floor next to him. Lily rolled her eyes at him and whispered to Emmeline,

"Just our luck, yeah?"

"Damn our luck," Emmeline agreed testily; Lily noticed that her knuckles had turned white from the tight grip she had on her quill.

Slughorn had launched into a lecture about the uses of wolfsbane in potion-making, but Lily had stopped listening; she was watching Emmeline with what she hoped was well-concealed interest. Sirius Black kept glancing over at Emmeline as well, as though trying to catch her eye, and Lily was fairly certain Emmeline could feel him looking at her even though she kept her eyes trained on her book. In fact, Emmeline seemed to be determinedly avoiding meeting his gaze.

"...and with that said, I'll assign you to your partners!" Slughorn finished, and it was with those words that he regained Lily's full attention.

"What?" she whispered to Emmeline. "Partners? What's Slughorn talking about?"

Emmeline looked over at her. "Weren't you listening?"

"No," Lily said, voice low; but James Potter overheard her.

"You? You, Lily Evans, weren't paying attention in class?" he asked with mock disbelief. She flushed and Emmeline, after rolling her eyes at James, said,

"We have to list the uses of wolfsbane and the effects that occur when added to different potions."

"But we don't enough time left in class to make potions to test wolfsbane with!" Lily protested, brows burrowing together.

Emmeline shrugged, her eyes sliding to where Slughorn had picked up a long roll of parchment with each student's name written on it in elegant, looping cursive.

"These are random assignments," Slughorn told the class cheerfully. "So no complaining about whom you're paired with! And if there isn't enough time left in class today, we'll continue into tomorrow!"

Lily felt herself tense; if she was paired with James Potter, she might retch. Emmeline was fidgeting anxiously beside her.

Slughorn seemed to be enjoying his momentarily extended authority over the class; he paused before he announced each student's partner and Lily found herself impatiently willing him to get on with it.

"Black, Sirius..." he announced dramatically. Next to Lily, Emmeline seemed to be holding her breath. "Snape, Severus." Lily felt Emmeline exhale and whispers broke out amongst the other students. Snape and Sirius were open enemies—the whole class seemed aware of their deep mutual hatred.

Lily looked over at Black and saw that he seemed to not have heard Slughorn; his eyes had gone back to Emmeline, who was still resolutely not looking at him, although her entire stature had relaxed.

_Why_ was Emmeline so keen on avoiding looking at Sirius Black? Her mind raced through the possibilities: maybe he had caught her snogging someone? But Emmeline would have told her about something like that...maybe she was just embarrassed about last Saturday after the Quidditch match? She probably thought that Black thought her incapable of handling herself in tight situations, Lily reasoned. Yes, that was surely the answer. Satisfied, despite the niggling worm of doubt that remained, she turned her attention back to Slughorn.

"Potter, James..." Slughorn's eyes swept over the dungeon. "Vance, Emmeline." Lily felt her face relax; Merlin, she was as bad as Emmeline, getting so concerned about partners for a silly assignment that would be over within a day!

"Lupin, Remus..." another long, theatrical pause, "Evans, Lily."

"So it's just damn _my_ luck," Emmeline whispered to her as Slughorn finished the last few names on the scroll.

"Now," Slughorn boomed brightly. "Discuss with your partners! Go on, go on!" The dungeon was soon filled with the noise of chairs scraping back and the low hum of talking voices.

Remus Lupin slid across from Lily, his quill poised against his parchment, ready to begin the assignment when Lily asked thoughtfully, "Why does Black keep staring at Emmeline, Remus?"

Lupin's eyebrows knitted together; Lily Evans was the last person he expected to want a bit of gossip when they were supposed to be working.

"Does he?" Lupin replied with a carefully unconcerned air. "I hadn't noticed."

"Yeah," Lily said slowly, her eyes fixed on where James and Emmeline were working. "He does." The bright green eyes shifted to Lupin and he shifted uncomfortably. "You really haven't noticed?"

"Not really," he confirmed, wishing she would stop looking at him; she was making him nervous. Her eyes swept over him as though she was trying to decide whether or not to believe him, but then she said abruptly, "We'd better start on this, we don't have much time left."

-----------------

"So Vance," James Potter said conversationally. "As the best mate, how do you recommend getting Evans to go out with me?"

Emmeline felt the corners of her mouth lift up despite her sour mood.

"You could try being a gentleman," she suggested, a hint of laughter in voice. "Although that would be so unexpected, she might faint dead away."

James grinned at her appreciatively. "But at least I'd be there to catch her...I'm being _serious_, Vance."

"So I am," she retorted, rolling her eyes at him. Her eyes met his and she sighed, feeling a small stab of pity for him. "You really like her, Potter? Your interest isn't because of the thrill of the chase?"

"The chase?"

She waved her quill impatiently. "The chase, Potter! She won't go out with you, which makes her the only girl who's ever said no to you, and if that's why you want her to go out with you so badly—"

"It's not," James interrupted her and his tone had lost the light humour. "I really do fancy her, Vance. It's not some passing thing."

Her eyes bored into his and James had the distinct feeling that she was looking directly into his brains; it was highly uncomfortable, like having someone peek into your innermost thoughts. Merlin, he hoped she couldn't see _those_ or not only would Evans continue to refuse to go out with him, she'd hex him until she ran out of curses.

"Be polite," Emmeline said finally, and he relaxed: her eyes had gone to her parchment.

"That's _it_?" he repeated disdainfully. "Be bloody _polite_?" The solution could hardly be that simple.

"Polite, kind, sweet, call it whatever you want. Point is, Potter, girls appreciate a sense of humour in a boy, but you take things a bit too far for Lily's taste. Stop hexing Slytherins in the hallways—even if they deserve it; yes, yes, I know they always do," she added at the look on his face. "Stop boasting about Quidditch, even when it's merited, and stop flirting with other girls. And yes, Potter, there's a difference between being friendly and flirting."

She was fully smiling now and it was bloody _maddening_. He bloody _knew_ there was a difference between being friendly and flirting; he wasn't _Wormtail_ and ironically enough, Emmeline's tone strongly reminded him of Sirius spouting advice to Peter about her at the dinner table.

He opened his mouth respond and she cut him off, reminding him, "Be polite."

_Be polite_...well why not? He had tried everything else and Vance _was_ Evans' best mate, which meant she would be the best source for inspiration.

"Now," she continued, leaning forward and locking gazes with him; again he felt as though she was looking right at his insides, "I have a question for you, Potter."

There was a sudden fierceness in her expression that reminded him vaguely of Evans when he hexed someone in front of her—which, he reminded himself, he hadn't done since term started, so that should be some points in his favour.

"Did Sirius Black tell you he wanted to shag me?" she demanded, eyes flashing as though the question itself were something heinous and terrible.

He stared at her. "Why do you ask?" he asked carefully.

"Amos Diggory told me he overhead Black tell you he wanted to shag me," she said, blue eyes intense on his face. "Is that true?"

James knew from personal experience and from the anger that was radiating out of her that he needed to answer this question with extreme caution; any wrong word could cause her to whip out her wand and curse Padfoot into oblivion.

"Sirius," he said slowly, keeping his eyes on hers, "says a lot things he doesn't mean."

Damned if her expression didn't soften, not even a little bit. "So it's true."

"There are very few girls," James tried again, "that Sirius _doesn't_ want to shag."

This was clearly the wrong thing to say—no, the _worst_ thing to say and he mentally kicked himself for it—but it was clearly the answer she had expected or similar to it; her eyes narrowed and her hands clenched down on the book in her hands.

_Damn_.

-------------------

"Snivellus," Sirius greeted, dropping into the seat across from Severus Snape. Snape narrowed his impenetrable black eyes at him, and mutual dislike virtually sizzled between the pair.

"I see my chances of earning an O on this assignment have now dwindled into nothing," Snape sneered at him. The pairs sitting around them had stopped talking to listen furiously to the conversation.

"Just like your chances of ever investing in shampoo."

Slughorn seemed to have been expecting the atmosphere near Snape's table to become distinctly chillier and he hurried over to them as quickly as his sizeable girth would allow. "Now, now boys...I know you are both—er, _less_ than fond of each other, but really! This is an assignment and I expect you both—N.E.W.T. level students that you are—to be able to put differences aside and work _together_." He looked at them expectantly; with great effort, both boys nodded.

"Excellent," Slughorn said briskly, returning to his desk in the centre of the dungeon.

Sirius leaned forward towards Snape as soon as Slughorn was out of earshot and whispered, his voice dripping with disgust, "Attacked any Muggleborns lately, Snivellus? I hear that's a new favourite pastime of yours..."

Colour flooded Snape's sallow skin. "You'd better watch out, Black," he hissed, leaning forward as well. "You're not entirely prepared for what's really out there—oy!" Sirius had grabbed his forearm and pushed the sleeve up; etched onto the white skin of Snape's arm was a dark skull, a snake blazing through its mouth.

---------------------

"Looks like Pettigrew's sitting with us again," Marlene mumbled as Peter stood and began to make his way over to where they were sitting, once again followed by his three friends; Dorcas glanced up, confusion on her face.

"Since when do they eat with us?" she wanted to know.

"Since Peter Pettigrew decided he fancies Em," Lily told her, smiling a little at Emmeline's scowl.

"He _fancies_ you?" Dorcas exclaimed. "That's so—"

"It's horrible," Emmeline muttered into her dinner.

Peter approached her and Emmeline could predict the exact words he was about to say, "Do you mind if we sit here, Emmeline?"

"No, I don't mind, Peter," she said tiredly and he sat down eagerly next to her. "My day was fine," she added sharply when she saw him open his mouth.

"You got a problem, Vance?" Sirius wanted to know, grey eyes locking on hers. Perhaps remembering their conversation from earlier, James rushed in, "What does everyone think of the Slughorn's assignment?"

"A _problem_?" Emmeline repeated, gripping her fork so hard her knuckles turned white. She looked as though she were on the verge of saying something, but seemed to remember that there were other people around—other people who were watching her and Sirius with interest. So instead of continuing, she just shook her head in disgust and dug her fork—still clenched painfully tight in her hand—into her food.

They ate the rest of dinner in silence, except for the occasional ill-advised wisecrack from James and consequent glare from Lily.

----------------------

A strong hand closed around Emmeline's wrist, pulling her in the opposite direction from where the other students were walking out of the Great Hall. Startled and remembering Regulus Black, she instinctively pulled back and looked up; Sirius Black was dragging her into what looked like an empty classroom. The relief that he was not a Slytherin bent on cursing Muggleborns was quickly overrun by a flood of anger—he was a bloody _liar_ and she had a few choice words to shout at him.

"What the hell are you _doing_?" she demanded, yanking back on her arm; his grip was like iron. "Let go!"

He ignored her, which was hardly comforting, and pulled her with him into the empty classroom, shutting the door behind him; he pulled his wand out and, pointing it at the door, mumbled, "_Muffliato_."

Before she could demand just exactly who the bleeding _hell_ he thought he _was_; he snapped out,

"What the bloody hell is _wrong_ with you?"

Her mouth opened in shock. "Wrong with—with _me_?" she sputtered. "You—you—I can't believe I ever—" Rage had rendered her incoherent, a stammering, furious mess unable to even bloody _speak_. Damn him to hell and back again, she thought furiously.

Finally she managed to untangle her tongue and shout at him, "You—you lying _bastard_!" There was a long, ringing silence; so long, in fact, that she quite regretted her choice of words because the expression that was now on his face was no less than petrifying. He didn't say anything in response, and the words flooded out of her before she could think to censor them.

"You—you've been _pretending_ like you care about me, pretending like you care about Dorcas!" she shouted, vaguely grateful for the _Muffliato_ he cast on the room. "But all you care about is getting a bloody _shag_! Well, it's _not_ going to _happen_! You're a bloody _liar_ and you've been _play-acting_ this _entire_ time! You make me _sick_!"

She stopped, breathing hard, eyes flashing and furious. "I _thought_ you actually gave a _damn_ about me and I can't _believe_ I've been so bloody _stupid_! Of course you don't bloody _care_ about me! _You_ don't care about _anyone_! You're bloody _Sirius Black_!" She gave a bitter, humourless laugh that sounded harsh even to her own ears; Sirius didn't look away from her. "You only _care_ about how many girls you can _shag_. Going for the world record, are we?"

He made a movement as if to reach for her and then seemed to think better of it; she was thankful he didn't because she was fairly certain that if he touched her, she would either burst into tears or slap him across his handsome face, and neither scenario would have pleasant consequences.

Finally he said very quietly, his eyes locked on hers, "Who told you this?" Their representations of the same emotion seemed to be exact opposites: she was scorching, desperate rage and he was icy, horribly cold fury.

"Why?" she demanded. His eyes were so dark that they looked black and she wasn't _about_ to give Amos up—she wasn't going to be responsible for whatever bodily harm Sirius Black was clearly _itching_ to do to whoever he deemed responsible for these less-than-pleasant turn of events. He was silent and part of her fury subsided, leaving her revolted with him for lying to her and revolted with herself for believing him.

When she started to speak again, she was surprised to find that her throat was scratchy and her voice hoarse—a result from yelling, she supposed. "You and I..." she swallowed and her throat burned, "whatever we were, whatever we would have been...it's done. It's _over_."

She was turning to leave, her hand on the door handle when he said, voice very low and quiet, as though he didn't expect her to hear or to listen, "I never meant to hurt you."

Her eyes suddenly stung with hot, wet tears and she desperately fought them off, blinking furiously. "Yeah, well. You did," she said, and she was surprised at how toneless her voice was, because at his words, she had been thrown into the emotional whirlpool of rage, confusion, and a sudden, desperate desire to forgive him. Ignoring this last feeling, she opened the door and left him alone in the dark classroom.

----------------------

_You lying bastard_..._you make me sick_..._it's done_...her words repeated themselves over and over again in his ears, and each time he heard them, he wanted to _hit_ something, preferably the face of whoever ratted to Emmeline; or perhaps the stone wall in front of him.

But the only people he could think of who knew he had said that were his _mates_ and they wouldn't have—would they?

Was Wormtail that desperate?

No, Sirius told himself, Wormtail was one of his best mates; he would never do something like that—right?

No. It had to have been someone else...who else had heard him tell James that he wanted to shag Emmeline Vance?

The realisation struck him like lightening; he couldn't believe it took him so long to remember.

_Diggory_.

Amos _bloody_ Diggory. Sirius' hands balled into fists without his realising it and he could hear the blood roaring in his ears.

He stormed into his dormitory, barely noticing that Lupin, James, and Peter had all circled around a letter Lupin was holding.

"Padfoot mate, there you are," James said, sounding relieved. "We can go now."

For a moment, Sirius forgot his desire to break Amos Diggory into thousands of small, unrecognisible bits. "Go where?"

"Dumbledore wants to see us in his office, mate," James explained, voice low. "No clue what it's on."

As they left the dorm, James took Sirius' arm and said, voice low so the other two wouldn't overhear, "Padfoot mate, you need to be careful. Emmeline Vance knows—"

"—that I said I wanted to shag her?" Sirius finished for him. James blinked.

"How'd you guess?"

"She cornered me and gave me a few...choice words." The lie feel easily and smoothly from his mouth; he felt a pang of guilt—after all, Prongs was his best mate...

"Ah," James nodded sagely. "They'll do that sometimes. But," he continued, voice brightening slightly, "at least now she's more likely to fall for the giant squid than you, mate!"

Sirius failed to see how _that_ was James' silver lining.

---------------------

Emmeline was the last to arrive at the dorm; when she entered, the other three stopped talking and looked over at her. She felt something cold grip her stomach.

"What's happened?" she asked, and images sped through her mind: her house destroyed with that—what had the paper called it? The Dark Mark—set over the ruins, her mum and dad inside, staring glassy-eyed at nothing...

"Dumbledore wants to see us in ten minutes," Lily said, brandishing a piece of parchment written on in thin, slanting handwriting. A small amount of relief eased into her veins; if anything had happened to her parents, Dumbledore wouldn't have requested her roommates' presence.

"What for?"

"Damned if we know," Marlene said, tone aiming for cheerfulness and falling hopelessly short. So they were worried too.

"Maybe," Lily offered, "he has a—a project for us..." She trailed off, clearing hearing the desperation in her own voice.

Emmeline, upon seeing Dorcas' pale face, understood with a flash why Lily and Marlene were so furtively grasping at optimism. "I'll bet you're right, Evans," she said brightly.

Dorcas shook her head. "Thanks for the effort, Em, but let's just go see what Dumbledore wants, yeah?"

They were not the only ones who had received letters; once inside Dumbledore's office, Emmeline counted ten Gryffindors—including the four boys she least wanted to see— six Ravenclaws and three Hufflepuffs. There were no Slytherins.

She presumed everyone had arrived when Dumbledore stood from the chair behind his desk and said in his quiet, unassuming voice, looking down at them from over his half-moon glasses, "I think I am correct when I say you are all wondering why you have been called here?" The crowded room fell silent at once.

He sighed heavily and with a wave of his wand conjured chairs for them to sit in.

"There have been," he began, peering at each of them individually, "as you may have noticed a rather large number of attacks on—" his eyes rested momentarily on Dorcas, "— Muggles and Muggleborns." He paused, allowing each of them to take in his words.

"These attacks," he continued, "I fear will not stop nor cease. It is my belief that they will only worsen in number and in method of destruction." His bright blue eyes swept over them, gauging their reactions; no one had moved, Emmeline hardly breathed.

"There is a group," Dumbledore said quietly, "that is dedicated to finding the culprits of these attacks, to preventing more attacks, and, most importantly, to _fighting_."

"Fighting what, sir?" one of the Ravenclaws asked, looking shaken.

"Lord Voldemort," Dumbledore answered calmly. "I advise you to grow used to the name," he added, apparently seeing several looks of confusion passed among the group.

"What's the group?" James Potter asked; Emmeline had never seen him so solemn.

Dumbledore seemed to be considering them very carefully before answering. His blue eyes went again to Dorcas before he said, "The Order of the Phoenix consists of those who wish to fight Lord Voldemort. That is the reason you have been called to this office."

It was as though they had all inhaled together, a single sharp intake of breath.

Dumbledore hesitated, as though he was debating on telling them more, before he said, "You are being asked to join the Order."

A roaring silence descended over the office; no one dared to even blink until Sirius Black—Emmeline pointedly not looking at him—said slowly, "But we're still in school."

Dumbledore gave him a small smile. "And in school you shall stay."

"So how can we join the Order if we're stuck here?" James Potter interjected, frowning; whispering broke out in a low hum.

Dumbledore held up his hand; the whispering subsided at once. "You will receive training in addition to your classes."

"How?" Lily asked, forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Who'll be training us?"

"Various Order members and Aurors from the Ministry," Dumbledore said, and Emmeline had a feeling he knew how frustratingly vague he seemed to them. But his answer tugged at her brain...if the Ministry was willing to send Aurors to train seventh year Hogwarts students, they must have finally recognised the grim reality of just how large a threat Voldemort was.

"I cannot stress this enough," Dumbledore added, and his eyes seemed to pierce each one of them at once. "_You must tell no one_. Very soon, sooner than you may realise, you will be gone from this school and the protection it offers will no longer apply to you."

"What do you mean, sir?" a black-haired Ravenclaw asked, nervously twisting her hands in her lap.

He sighed and suddenly seemed very old indeed. "What I mean, Miss Jones, is that once you leave this hallowed halls, you may find yourself duelling a former classmate."

"Slytherins, most likely," Marlene hissed in Emmeline's ear.

"It is my wish," Dumbledore said quietly, "to impress upon you the gravity of the decision in front of you. If you choose to accept my offer and become a member of the Order of the Phoenix, there is a good chance that you will die."

The blood drained from Emmeline's face; she felt Dorcas flinch next to her and James seemed to speak for everyone present when he said disbelievingly, "We could _die_?"

Dumbledore fixed his eyes on James. "Many highly capable wizards have already," he said softly. "That is why you _must_ understand the reality of the situation, Mr. Potter...many of you in this room will not live to see Voldemort defeated."

A dreadful quiet had seized them. "If you choose not to accept my offer," Dumbledore continued, "it will not be held against you. As long as you stand against Lord Voldemort, we shall remain on the same side."

He looked at them all expectantly and Emmeline realised numbly that he wanted them to decide _now_.

The black-haired Ravenclaw who had spoken earlier echoed Emmeline's thoughts, saying weakly, "You—we have to answer _tonight_? We—we can't even owl our parents?"

"You are all of age," Dumbledore said quietly. "And it is highly important that no one else be made aware of what has transpired here tonight in this office. I'm afraid that you must decide immediately."

Emmeline felt as though he had doused her with several buckets of ice-cold water. It was all too much, too soon—and they had to decide _now_? But—this was her _life_ she was signing away—shouldn't Dumbledore give them more time to think about it?

Evidently she was not the only thinking along these lines as no one volunteered to accept the sudden and terrifying offer, until—

"Yeah I'll do it," Dorcas said quietly. Emmeline gaped at her; she wasn't the only one. Everyone had turned to stare at Dorcas, some open-mouthed at her quick response.

"He killed my mum and dad," Dorcas continued, a kind of quiet, steely fury in her voice. "If I can do anything—anything at all..." she trailed off and her fists clenched and Dumbledore seemed to understand.

Dorcas' announcement was followed closely by several rounds of, "Yeah I'm in." Emmeline's heart gave a leap: Sirius had been one of them. She glanced at Lily, who looked stricken; James Potter had been one too.

And as though of its own volition, her own voice called out, "Me too" followed closely by Lily's own declaration.

After the words left her lips, Emmeline felt a kind of adrenaline swim through her veins, as though she half-expected Lord Voldemort to be hiding behind Dumbledore's desk, ready to kill them all as soon as they had declared a side. But the words had felt so _right_ and she knew she wouldn't take them back; the vision from earlier in the dorm of her parents, lying pale and lifeless on the floor of a destroyed house was sealed in her mind and she was determined to not let that image become reality.

-----------------------

Classes the next morning were slow and painful; all Lily could think about was what had occurred the night before. Had she really agreed to all that?

"Oy, Evans," a voice from directly behind her whispered during Charms; Lily pried her eyes away from tiny Professor Flitwick in the front of the room and leaned her chair backwards.

"What, Potter? I'm trying to pay attention." Emmeline snorted dubiously from beside her; Lily hadn't picked up her quill all lesson.

James Potter leaned forward; his warm breath tickled her ear. "I've been thinking about the patrolling assignments."

"What about them?"

"Maybe the Slytherins shouldn't be patrolling together."

Lily frowned and Emmeline glanced at her. "That's not a bad idea, Lily," she whispered thoughtfully. "After last night—"

Lily cut her off before she could continue; they were supposed to keep it a secret, after all, and who knew who listening to their conversation? "All right, Potter," she said softly, turning her head slightly so she could see him; she was surprised at how close their faces were and her chair wobbled slightly on its back legs. "We'll go over it later, reorganise the duties."

He nodded once and leaned back in his chair; there was not a trace of humour on his face and Lily felt a buzzing warmth in her stomach. Emmeline was watching her with a small, knowing smile on her face.

"What?" Lily whispered, her chair coming to rest quietly on all four legs. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you know something I don't."

"I know a lot of things you don't," Emmeline said, grinning at her.

Lily felt a hot blush spread over her face. "I do _not_ want to go out with James Potter," she whispered insistently. "I _don't_."

"Okay."

Lily scowled; Emmeline had agreed too easily. "I _don't_," she repeated.

"I believe you," Emmeline whispered back, the laughter in her eyes belying her statement.

Lily's scowl deepened; this was an argument she couldn't win.

----------------------

"You're late, Miss Vance," Professor Sinistra said disapprovingly as Emmeline threw open the door to the Astronomy tower; heads turned around to look curiously at her.

"I know, I'm sorry, Professor, it won't happen again..."

"Take a seat," Sinistra said, gesturing around the classroom; the only empty seat was next to Amos Diggory. Emmeline gave him a small smile and sat down next to him, feeling a pair of eyes on her as she did so; she didn't have to turn around to know who the eyes belonged to.

"How are you?" Amos asked her quietly as Professor Sinistra began to discuss the relation of the names of ancient Greek constellations to the modern wizarding world.

She glanced at him and replied, her voice just as quiet, "I'm fine, Amos."

"Have you talked to Sirius?"

Her nerves bristled just a bit; this was really none of his business. "I told you," she said, keeping her voice even, "we're just friends."

"Yeah, but—"

"Mr. Diggory," Professor Sinistra snapped, voice clipped. "Would you like to share your opinion with the class?"

Emmeline felt Amos swallow hard. "No, Professor. I'm sorry. Won't happen again."

Sinistra fixed him with a threatening look and returned to her lecture.

"Emmeline—" Amos tried again; she cut him off irritably,

"Just leave it, Amos!"

---------------

It had to have been Amos Diggory. There was no one else.

Sirius' hand tightened around his quill; he was no longer listening to Professor Sinistra. He was no longer listening to Professor Sinistra. He watched as Diggory said something to her; she leaned over slightly to hear what he was saying and her hair brushed his shoulder.

"Sirius," the pretty girl next to him whispered. "Can I see your notes?"

Barely even looking at her, he pushed his minimal notes in her direction, his eyes fixed on Diggory and Vance.

Whatever he had just said to her, she must have not appreciated, because her forehead furrowed and she turned back to the front of the room. _Good_, Sirius thought savagely, narrowing his eyes at the pair.

"Sirius," the girl whispered again, trying to get his attention; he turned to her impatiently and snapped, "_What_?" She blinked.

"Your notes are really horrible," she informed him, shrinking back slightly. He took his notes back and returned to staring hard at the back of Emmeline Vance's head, willing her to turn around and glare at him, hex him—to do _something_ besides ignore him.

When Astronomy was _finally_ over, he waited until everyone had filed out of the classroom except for Diggory, who had stayed back to apologize again to Professor Sinistra for talking—Sirius felt disgust surge inside of him. He _hated_ teachers' pets, almost as much as he hated rats—and Diggory was both.

"Hey Diggory," he called out when they had both left the classroom. Amos Diggory turned and when he saw Sirius, there was a spark of worry in his eyes.

"Black," he greeted cautiously, hurriedly walking down the twisting stairs; Sirius followed at a relaxed, even pace.

"Need to talk to you, Diggory," Sirius announced; Diggory seemed to have expected as much.

"About what?" he asked casually, picking up his pace down the stairs.

"Emmeline Vance."

Diggory seemed to have expected this as well because he stopped hurrying down the steps and turned to face Sirius. "She had a right to know, Black, she's a very nice girl and—"

Sirius clapped him on the back and led him down the last few steps. "And you were just being a gentleman, yeah?"

Diggory blinked, surprise written on his face. "Well—yes. You understand?"

They had reached level ground; Sirius turned so he was blocking Diggory from continuing on to his next class. "I understand," he confirmed, and his eyes narrowed. "What I _don't_ understand, Diggory, is what in the bloody _hell_ made you think _any_ of it was your bloody _business_." Realisation dawned on Diggory's face; he paled.

"She—I was—"

But whatever Diggory was failed to be heard against the cracking sound of his nose breaking.

--------------------

"Oy, Vance!" James Potter called out, coming over to where Emmeline was sitting in the common room, hunched over a table, frowning at a chart of star constellations.

"Yeah, Potter?"

"Did you tell Sirius that Amos Diggory was the one who ratted to you about his shagging comment?"

Frustrated with her star constellations, she threw down her quill and glared at James. "No, Potter. I happen to like Amos Diggory and I don't really want to see him turned into a gerbil. I'm not that bloody _thick_."

"Then Sirius must've figured it out," James said grimly. "Because Diggory's in the hospital wing and Sirius is banned from the first Hogsmeade weekend."

She stared at him, not quite believing him. "You're joking," she said finally. "You have to be joking, James."

He shook his head regretfully. "Wish I was, Vance."

She stared at him for a few more seconds, and then said resolutely, "I have to go see him."

"I wouldn't," James advised. "He's in a right state. Hit our dorm room wall a few times, for good measure, I think—"

Her eyes flashed and she snapped, "Not Sirius, you _moron_! Amos! I should go see Amos!"

"What for?" James asked, looking at her doubtfully. "It's not your fault; you didn't tell Sirius that he was the one who told you. And Vance," James sat down across from her, looking intently at her, "you want to tell me why Amos Diggory's in the hospital wing?"

She stared at him as though he had just asked her if she knew what one plus one equalled. "Because," she said slowly, as though he was a very small child, "_your_ best mate lost his _temper_ and put him there."

"No, that's not what I mean. Why'd Sirius react like that? I wasn't aware you two were all that close." James was watching her reactions closely; she felt as though she were being interrogated.

"We're not," she lied. "You'd have to ask him why. Maybe he fancies someone and was afraid they'd heard Amos?" It had sounded ridiculous in her head and it sounded ridiculous now, but James was nodding as though wanting very much to believe there was nothing between her and Sirius.

She gathered up her things, and after depositing them in her bag, headed off to the hospital wing.

Amos Diggory was in the next to last bed, looking fairly miserable, with blood still staining his upper lip and two blooming black eyes. Her heart wrenched for him; he looked less than pleased to see her as she sat down next to his bed.

"Amos," she said gently, reaching out to clutch his hand. "I am so, so sorry this happened to you."

He reached up to his nose gingerly. "Me too," he mumbled, and he extracted his hand from hers as though she were poisoned.

"I didn't tell him you told me," she added, looking worriedly at his black eyes. "I didn't rat you out, Amos."

He shook his head and she reached out, gently touching his injured nose. "Does it hurt?"

"Horribly," he said flatly.

"I'm so sorry," she repeated quietly, locking her eyes on his; a voice cleared behind them.

"Diggory," Madam Pomfrey said, eyeing Emmeline, who snatched her hand away from Amos' face, "Black is here to—_apologize_."

And indeed, next to Madam Pomfrey was Sirius Black, his eyes on where Emmeline's hand had just been. Madam Pomfrey gave Sirius an encouraging push towards Amos' bedside; Emmeline stood and, with a disgusted glare at Sirius, retreated to Madam Pomfrey's side. She wanted to hear him say it; she wanted Sirius to know that she was behind him, listening to him _apologise_ to Amos Diggory.

Amos flinched away from Sirius as he sat down in the chair Emmeline had just abandoned. "Sorry, mate," Sirius said in a tone that made it clear he was not in the least bit sorry and felt no regret for his actions. "Shouldn't have lost my temper. Sorry."

Amos seemed to catch the lack of sincerity in Sirius' voice, but was clearly eager to get him to leave, so he nodded fervently and said hurriedly, "All right, I accept. You can go now."

With a last, lingering look at Emmeline, Sirius left, his arm brushing hers as he walked out. Emmeline bit her lip and said to Amos,

"I'm really so sorry, Amos."

He managed a small, weak smile. "Yeah, well, it's not your fault, Emmeline."

More to herself than to him, she said quietly, "I think it is..." and with one last lingering look at Amos' bruised and bloody face, she followed Sirius' footsteps out of the hospital wing.

------------------------

"Avery," James muttered, tapping his quill against his parchment, unaware of Lily's eyes on him, "Put him with Moony...he can handle Avery..." Leaning forward intently, he scribbled furiously on the parchment for a second and then looked up, starting a little when he met Lily's gaze. "You alright Evans? You're looking at me funny."

Lily blinked herself out of her trance. Had she been _staring_ at James Potter? What was the _matter_ with her? She hated Potter...but, a small voice in the back of her mind said, he's been different since he'd been called into Dumbledore's office with the rest of them...he hadn't asked her out once, nor had he smarted off to her once in the whole two hours they had been in the library, reorganising the prefects' patrolling list. He was being very strange—almost _likeable_.

He was still looking at her, and she realised with a jolt that he was waiting for her answer. "Yes, Potter, I'm fine," she assured him hurriedly. Eager to change the subject she said, "You haven't seen Emmeline lately have you? I haven't seen her all night and I'm getting a little worried."

"She went to the hospital wing," James answered, having gone back to pouring over the patrolling charts. Lily started.

"What? Why? Is she hurt?"

"What?" he asked vaguely. "No, Evans, she's fine. She went to go check on Diggory."

_"Amos _Diggory? Why's he in the hospital wing?"

"Sirius—er, released some frustration on him," James said delicately. Lily paled.

"Is he—is he _alright_?"

"He'll be fine, Evans. Just a few bruises."

_"Why_ would Sirius _do_ that?"

"Well," James said unconcernedly, frowning at the charts in front of him, "I expect because Diggory told Vance about Sirius—completely jokingly—telling me he'd like to shag her."

"_What_?"

"Diggory told Vance—"

"No, I heard you," Lily interrupted. "Why would it _matter_ so much to Sirius?"

"That," James said, pointing the charts at her, "is the thousand Galleon question, Evans."

"Did you ask Emmeline?"

"Yeah. But as I'm not her best mate," he fixed Lily with a good-natured look, "I doubt she told me the truth."

"What'd she tell you?"

"That Sirius probably fancies another girl and was afraid she would hear Diggory and get all jealous. You girls tend to do that." He winked at her; Lily ignored him and the small butterflies that were suddenly loosed in her stomach.

"If that's what Emmeline says," she said firmly, "then I believe her."

James shrugged. "All right, then."

Something in his tone made her frown. "You don't?"

"I thought you believe what Vance said?"

"I _do_. But—"

"You want to know what I think."

Gritting her teeth, she nodded mutely.

He gazed thoughtfully at her. "I think," he said slowly, "that we don't have all the information. And I think that if Sirius—knowingly or not—is the reason behind Wormtail's broken heart, then I might have to—take drastic measures."

Before she could respond, he thrust the charts at her. "Now start carrying your weight, Evans."

---------------------------

Sirius was waiting for her when she stepped out of the hospital wing.

"Vance—"

"I don't want to bloody hear it."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're _not_! I saw your face in there, Black! You're not sorry at all; you'd do it all over again with _no_ regrets!"

At the anger in her voice, he changed tactics; and though she was walking as fast as her legs would allow, he kept up with her easily.

"It was none of his business."

"He was being a _gentleman_! Something you _clearly_ know _nothing_ about!"

"It was _none_ of his business," Sirius repeated stubbornly.

Emmeline stopped and stared at him with a mix of disbelief and revulsion. "It couldn't have gone on anyway, Sirius!" she snapped. "One of your best mates is in love with me!"

His face clouded over. "He'll get over it."

"You don't _know_ that!"

"No," he agreed without elaborating. They stared at each other in silence; Peter Pettigrew's crush was currently the least of their problems.

"Did you tell James Potter you wanted to shag me?" she demanded.

"Yes." There was not a trace of shame in his voice. He took a step towards her and she held her ground; she recognised this tactic and she _refused_ to be backed against another wall.

"_Do_ you want to shag me?"

He laughed and her temper flared. "You're a _girl_, Vance, and I'm a bloke, what more answer do you need?"

"Maybe," she snapped—he stepped closer, "you should bloody _get to know_ people before you _mouth off_ about wanting to _shag_ them!"

"Maybe _you_ should bloody get to know people before you _snog_ them in abandoned hallways," he retorted, his eyes intent on hers; the dig hit its mark and she turned bright pink.

"I _hate_ you," she informed him bitterly and he took one last step towards her; because she had refused to retreat, their faces were centimetres apart.

"No," he corrected her quietly and she couldn't tell the black of his pupils apart from the rest of his eyes. "No, you don't."

She wanted very much for someone—anyone to walk by, thus stopping what she knew—what she _felt_ was coming; she wanted to run as fast as she could to her dorm, but she was rooted to the floor.

His hand came up and pushed her hair from her face; she couldn't take her eyes from his, she couldn't even _move_. It was like she was frozen to the spot; a warning voice in her head was calling out, _He wants to get into your knickers, Vance! What are you _doing_? Leave, now!_

But as much as she wanted to leave, she couldn't. His free arm had quietly snuck around her waist, but he made no attempt to pull her closer. His other hand was still stroking her hair, his eyes never leaving hers.

"We can't—" she whispered, and she hated herself for how much it sounded like a plea. "You—you're a bloody _liar_..."

He ignored her, eyes intense on her face.

"I _am_ sorry," he said quietly; she blinked up at him in surprise and his mouth was at her temple, his lips moving against her skin. "I'm sorry you got hurt."

The voice that had been bleating continuous warnings was becoming softer, falling silent under the roar of blood rushing in her ears and the pounding of her heart.

"And it's really _none_ of Diggory's damn business," he added before his mouth travelled down to hers.

At his mention of Amos Diggory's name, her mind lit up with images—Amos telling her to be careful around Sirius Black because he wanted to shag her, Amos lying in the hospital wing with two black eyes and broken nose, payment for his warning—and her previous rage exploded out of her.

She wrenched herself out of his grasp and spat out, "You're _revolting_. Stay bloody _away_ from me, Black."

A ringing silence followed her burst of fury and sending one final glare Sirius' way, she stormed away from him.

* * *

A/N: Oh Sirius, why must you always have the last word? That's no way to get your girl back! 

What a beast of a chapter! Don't forget...I gave you a very long chapter (almost 20 pages on Word, people!), so you need to review!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The only place where Harry Potter belongs to me is in my dreams...

A/N: I'm so sorry to those of you who have me on story updates because you probably thought I updated when I didn't. Let me explain: I just started using a Mac to write with and I had no idea that this site didn't support the Safari Internet browser. If you have a Mac please please tell me how I can fix this problem

Don't forget to let me know what you think!

* * *

Chapter Seven 

_You realise the sun doesn't go down, it's just an illusion caused by the world spinning round. –The Flaming Lips _

"Why do I have to patrol with _you_?" Lily demanded, more annoyance in her voice than she actually felt, a fact that sat most uncomfortably with her.

"I already told you, Evans, everyone else was already paired off."

"A simple oversight on your part, I'm sure."

James grinned down at her. "A mistake anyone could make," he agreed easily.

She shook her head and wished she could drudge more than just amused exasperation towards him. What was _wrong_ with her?

"When do you think we'll start training?" he asked her, lowering his voice and interrupting her confused thoughts. "For the Order," he clarified, seeing her blink confusedly.

"No idea," she said vaguely, muttering, "_Lumos_," so she could see down the darkened corridors; the light from her wand glinted off the suits of armour. "But probably not soon," she added, squinting into the darkness. "The Ministry's got its hands full trying to apprehend this Voldemort, so I doubt they'll be keen on letting Aurors off to train a load of Hogwarts' seventh years..." There was the sound of feet scurrying and Lily trained her wand on the spot where the sound had come from.

Oy!" James suddenly bellowed; two Hufflepuff fifth years jumped out from behind a statue. "What're you two doing out of bed?"

The boy gave him a shifty smile that was rebuffed with a disapproving look from James; the girl looked mortified and buried her face in her hands, thereby avoiding all eye contact.

"Are you going to take points?" the boy asked earnestly, looking horrified at the thought.

Lily glanced over at James, who said, "Sorry, mate, we have to."

"But," Lily offered comfortingly, for the girl had not looked up once since being caught, "it's only five points each, so you can earn them back tomorrow. Now get to bed, both of you."

The pair trudged off to the Hufflepuff common room and James commented off-handedly, "I always hate taking points when people are doing things I've done before. Makes me feel hypocritical."

Lily groaned inwardly; in her mind's eye she could see James Potter locked in passionate embrace with a faceless girl in a darkened hallway in the middle of the night. She felt a stab of inexplicable jealousy and hastily blocked it and the image out of her mind. She didn't care who James Potter snogged. She _didn't_.

"Did you hear me, Evans?"

"What? No, sorry."

"I said, have you ever broken any school rules?" James repeated, and there was an odd sort of grin on his face that made her spirits brighten; in spite of herself, she smiled back at him.

"Maybe I have," she said mischievously. Dear Merlin, she was _flirting_ with him! What was bloody _wrong_ with her? Sure, he was more attractive than she had ever allowed herself to admit, and he hadn't once bragged to her about his spectacular Quidditch achievements in the Gryffindor-Slytherin match. Come to think of it, she hadn't seen him hex anyone for fun in the hallways recently either...and when had he last asked her out? Had it really been _days_ ago?

Was it possible that James Potter was really and truly—_different_? She made a mental note to have a long sit-down with Emmeline.

James was grinning approvingly at her and something warm twisted in her stomach.

She'd wake Emmeline once she got back from patrol, Lily decided. This could not be allowed to continue.

------------------------

"Em! Em, wake up!"

Emmeline grunted.

"Come on, Emmeline, wake up! I need to talk to you!"

"No—don't want to," Emmeline protested into her covers, burrowing her face deeper into her sheets.

"I need to talk to you," Lily's voice insisted, and Emmeline felt a hand shake her shoulder impatiently. "It's important and it can't wait till morning."

With a groan, Emmeline mumbled, "I hate you right now, Evans." She sat up and blinked sleep out of her eyes, casting a longing glance at where Marlene and Dorcas were still peacefully sleeping, unaware of the whispered conversation going on around them.

Lily hopped into a sitting position on the end of Emmeline's four poster bed and leaned forward.

"I..." she hesitated, as though she was about to confess to something terrible; and she bit her lower lip.

Emmeline stared at her blearily. "It's bleeding three o'clock in the morning. Now is not the time to not finish your sentences, Evans. You..." she prodded exasperatedly.

"I'm attracted to James Potter," Lily rushed out in a single breath, shivering disgustedly, as though she had just admitted to something far more atrocious. Emmeline blinked, not fully comprehending Lily's predicament.

"So? You're hardly alone. Loads of girls are attracted to him."

Lily groaned and dropped her head in her hands. "You don't understand, Em! I _can't_ be attracted to him because I _hate_ him!"

"Sounds to me like you've stopped hating him," Emmeline pointed out helpfully. "Sounds like you might _fancy_ him. Why the change of heart?"

"He...he's been _different_," Lily whispered.

"Different? Different how? Better?"

Lily nodded.

"Maybe he's just growing up," Emmeline reasoned. Lily snorted in disbelief.

"Fine," Emmeline said crankily, wanting very much to retreat back into the warmth of her bed and resenting Lily for pulling her from the holds of sleep for _this_. "Then maybe you're bloody in love with him."

"I am _not_—"

"Evans," she interrupted tiredly. "It's three in the morning and if you woke me up just to disagree with everything I say—"

"I'm _attracted_ to him, Em! I've never been attracted to James Potter in the _least_ before! Something's wrong!"

"Or maybe," Emmeline suggested, yawning and pulling her covers up to her chin, "you're just finally seeing what everybody else already knew was there."

Lily gaped at her. "You think that _I'm_ the one who's been wrong about him all this time?"

"You haven't been wrong, really," Emmeline corrected her. "James Potter is a lot of the things you say he is. He's arrogant, he's a bit of a bully, and _yes_, everyone seems to give him a free pass. But," she fixed Lily with a knowing smile, "you're the only one I know who refuses to see his more—er, _redeeming_ qualities."

"_What_ redeeming qualities?"

Instead of answering her, Emmeline asked, "How's he been different lately?"

"He's—he's been helpful and considerate, almost to the point of being _kind_. And," Lily hesitated before mumbling, "He's made me laugh."

It was a mark of their friendship that Emmeline passed over Lily's answers without so much as a twitch of her mouth. "Evans," she said kindly, taking Lily's hand and looking into her bright green eyes,""those would be the redeeming qualities everybody else has been seeing all this time."

Lily considered this for so long a moment that Emmeline collapsed back against her pillows, sleep pulling at her eyelids.

"Have you been to see Amos Diggory in the hospital wing?" Lily asked abruptly. Emmeline's eyes flew open and she sat back up.

"Yes," she said carefully. "Why?"

Lily ignored Emmeline's question. "How did he seem?"

"Miserable, but I suspect two black eyes and broken nose will do that to a bloke. _Why_?"

"Are you—" Lily paused, searching for the right words. "Is there anything you...er, want to _tell_ me, Em?"

Emmeline blinked. _Was_ there anything she wanted to tell Lily? Her—er, momentary lapse in sanity had ended, so was there really any harm in telling her best mate? But even as she considered the words, she knew the events surrounding Amos Diggory's trip to the hospital would stay hidden. Sirius wouldn't say anything for Peter's sake, and Amos—well, Amos didn't really know _why_ he was in the hospital, did he?

"No," she answered finally. "There's nothing I want to tell you, other than Sirius Black is a git who can't control his temper."

Lily relaxed visibly. "Seems so," she agreed, sliding off of Emmeline's bed. "Good night, Em."

"Good _morning_, Evans," Emmeline corrected, settling back into her covers and sleep pulled her back into its grasp almost instantly.

---------------------

"You waited up for me?" James exclaimed when he saw Sirius sitting on the floor next to his bed, wide awake and twirling his wand listlessly around his fingers. "That's so sweet of you, Mum!"

"Piss off, Prongs," Sirius retorted darkly.

"Trying to _sleep_," came an irritated growl from Remus' bed.

"Aw, stuff it, Moony," James said brightly, dropping next to Sirius. "I think Evans is finally coming round, Padfoot," he confided in a lower voice, a smug grin on his face. "Just took some time, that's all. And a little help from the lovely Emmeline Vance."

There was a flash of—something in Sirius' eyes at Emmeline Vance's name, but it passed so quickly James was sure he must have imagined it.

"So she's going to Hogsmeade with you?"

"Nah, I said she was coming round, not that she was won over, Padfoot. There's a difference."

"I'm thinking of asking Emmeline with me to Hogsmeade," Peter piped up from his bed. Remus groaned and stuffed his pillow over his head.

"Excellent, Wormtail!" James said, casting a wicked grin towards Remus, who had rolled over irritably. "That's real progress, that is!"

"Bloody hell," Remus mumbled into his sheets.

"He said he was _thinking_ about asking her," Sirius pointed out waspishly. "Progress would be if he said he was going to ask her _tomorrow_."

Peter's voice grew slightly stronger. "I think I will ask her tomorrow," he announced triumphantly.

James grinned at Sirius. "Congratulations mate."

"She hasn't said yes yet," Sirius muttered, unable to stop himself.

"She will," Peter said dreamily. "And maybe we'll go to the Three Broomsticks and have a butterbeer..."

Sparks shot from the end of Sirius' wand; James blinked in surprise.

"You alright?" he asked, voice quiet so the other two didn't hear.

"Fine," Sirius said tightly. "Bloody _dandy_."

James sent him a searching look and when no further information was offered, he shrugged and climbed into his bed.

Sirius continued to sit on the floor of the dormitory, spinning his wand around his fingers. He wasn't thinking about Peter's declaration—he was remembering the gentle way Emmeline Vance had touched Amos Diggory's black eyes in the hospital wing, the worry on her face as she implored him to believe that it was not her fault he had ended up there...

He was most unfamiliar with jealousy as an emotion; even though he'd been on the receiving end from many girls, he'd never really experienced it firsthand before. But he knew this must be jealousy because his blood fairly boiled when he remembered the soft worry in her eyes as she looked at bloody Diggory; he knew he had wanted quite badly to snatch Vance's hand away from Amos Diggory's face, to pull her away from Diggory's bedside and to tear Diggory into thousands of small bits.

And now—now Peter was working up all his courage and was going to ask her to Hogsmeade—the Hogsmeade from which he, Sirius, was banned. Bloody Amos Diggory.

----------------------

All through Transfiguration, Sirius had cast glances over at Emmeline, and she was bloody _sick_ of it, and of him. When she felt his eyes on her _again_, it took all her mental willpower to not groan out loud and to keep her eyes trained on her parchment.

"Hey Em," Lily whispered. "I know Hogsmeade's this weekend, but I was thinking if Dorcas doesn't feel up to it, we should stay with her, make sure she's not alone."

"Yeah," Emmeline agreed vaguely, narrowing her eyes at the back of Sirius' head, wishing she could jinx him without fear of detention. "Sounds good to me, Lily."

"Are you alright?" Lily wanted to know. "You seem distracted."

Emmeline turned to look at Lily just as Sirius threw another glance her way. "I'm fine, Evans. Just thinking about when we'll get to start training for the Order." Her brow furrowed. "And why aren't you paying attention? Good Merlin, Potter really _is_ rubbing off on you..."

"He is _not_," Lily retorted. "I just don't understand a word McGonagall's saying, so there's no point in taking notes."

"Yeah," Emmeline said slyly, "but I'm sure James Potter would be _more_ than happy to give you a few late night _lessons_."

"Shut it," Lily grumbled. "And he's not taking notes either, so I'll have to borrow yours...want to try and figure out just what exactly McGonagall's saying tonight?"

"Because I'm so brilliant at Transfiguration? You can borrow my notes, sure, but I haven't the slightest what any of it means...you'd really be better off asking one of those two." She jerked her head towards where James and Sirius were sitting.

"That would be considered _encouraging_ Potter," Lily protested.

"And didn't you wake me up at bloody three o'clock this morning to tell me that you were attracted to him?" When Lily didn't respond, Emmeline continued practically, "If you're so enamored—"

"I'm _not_ enamored!"

"Fine, _attracted_ to Potter, then really, Evans, what would it hurt to get him to help you out in Transfiguration? He'd bloody fall over himself to get you an O."

"Some people define that as _using_," Lily pointed out sourly.

"And some people define attracted as enamored," Emmeline replied helpfully.

---------------------

"You're bloody terrible at ignoring me, Vance," Sirius told Emmeline brightly, dropping into the seat across from her. Their previous encounter seemed to have not dissuaded him in the least; rather, he was back to his usual arrogant, sarcastic self. "You're _dying_ to shout at me a bit, I can tell. Go on, then."

She gave no indication that she heard him, her quill continuing to scratch against parchment.

A bit of the humour faded from his face and he said, "Fine. I'll just sit here and struggle with my Astronomy essay while you—"

She slapped the quill down. "Go _away_," she hissed at him.

"Oh, you're talking to me now? Excellent, I need help with Astronomy—"

"I'm _not_ talking to you!" she snapped. "I'm asking you to leave me _alone_!"

"Yes, well," he acknowledged mock-seriously, "as we both know that's not going to happen—"

She slammed her book shut and stuffed her things furiously into her bag; casting him one last look of disgust, she stormed away from him. He shook his head, gave her a few seconds head start, and then took off after her; Madam Pince scowled irritably at him as he left the library.

"Vance!"

Emmeline groaned. "You _don't_ give up, do you?"

"You really should have realised that by now," he said, catching up to her and smirking; she flushed.

"Go to hell," she snapped.

"I would, Vance, if you came with me," he drawled, cutting in front of her and leaning against a stone pillar, smirking arrogantly at her.

She stopped walking to stare at him, half in amazement, and half in disgust. "It's _done_, Sirius! You put Amos Diggory in the bloody _hospital_ wing and you're not even _sorry_!"

"He should've minded his own bloody business," Sirius said stubbornly.

"You shouldn't have shot your bloody mouth off to James Potter!"

He sighed. "We've had this conversation before, and quite recently, Vance. If you really want to re-enact it, can we skip to the last bit? I didn't really like the way it ended...something about my being revolting..."

She glared at him and rubbed her forehead exasperatedly. "You _are_ revolting and I don't know what you're aiming at by constantly badgering me, because I've already told you: whatever it was, it's _over_."

"What if I don't want it to be over?"

"Then you shouldn't have gone anywhere near Amos Diggory," she snapped tartly. He opened his mouth to respond—

"Well, this is certainly an interesting—development," said a new voice, laden with contempt and eerily similar to Sirius'. Emmeline turned around and stifled a groan; Regulus Black was sneering at the pair of them.

Sirius stiffened and all traces of good humour were wiped from his handsome face. There was a sudden, tense shift in the air, and Emmeline felt an icy finger of dread slide down her spine; Sirius had drawn his wand.

"Fighting with Mudbloods in the hallways now, Sirius?" Regulus asked stiffly; Sirius glared at him and Emmeline could tell he wanted to throw his wand to the floor and go for Regulus with his bare hands.

She grabbed his arm—something that she would _never_ have done under normal circumstances, given the events of the past week and a half—hissing at him, "It's not worth it, Sirius."

"It would be," he snarled, and she felt the arm muscles under her grasp jump; he was clearly desperate to have a go at his brother.

"I suppose," Regulus continued, hatred etched into his every feature,"that your—_dalliances_ with Mudbloods is supposed to be your final rebellion against the family?"

Emmeline tried to ignore being described as a 'dalliance', but she felt her cheeks turn a faint red. "Don't," she whispered again when Sirius looked down at her, her grip tightening on his arm.

Reigning in his temper—with great effort, Emmeline knew from feeling the muscles straining underneath her fingers—Sirius retorted, "At least I _have_ dalliances, Regulus. You even been with a girl yet?"

The implications of what Sirius had just said—that _he_ had been with _her_—barely had time to register in her brain as Regulus' wand rose.

Emmeline was faster; she shouted, "_Expelliarmus_!" and his wand soared out of his hand and into her free one. Sirius made as though to take Regulus' wand from her, but if the fire in his eyes was any indication, he'd snap it in half; so she held onto the wand firmly.

"Excellent magic trick, Mudblood," Regulus scoffed at her, his fingers flexing and his eyes on his wand. "I have to compliment your eye, Sirius; she's quite cute," he added. "How long have you been shagging her, then?"

The question had only just left his mouth when a jet of bright blue light burst from the end of Emmeline's wand and hit him full in the face; large, painful-looking sores sprouted onto every inch of visible skin.

She didn't feel any remorse for him, not even as he lay on the stone floor, gripping his face in his hands and moaning in pain. "I am _not_ shagging him," she informed Regulus icily, going over and looking down at him, "And you might want to go to the hospital wing for those boils. I'm giving your wand to Slughorn." Giving him one last, disgusted look, she added for good measure, "You _bastard_." She didn't look at Sirius as she stormed away.

Sirius crouched down next to Regulus, pointing his wand in his brother's face. "If you ever threaten her again—or any other Muggleborns," he said, his voice dangerously quiet, "then you'll wish I had cursed you with just boils."

Regulus glared at up at him but seemed unable to think of a biting retort; Sirius cast him a look of hatred and followed after Emmeline.

-----------------------

"Professor Slughorn?" Emmeline called out, knocking on Slughorn's office door and peeking inside. The room was eerily still and quiet.

"I don't think he's in," Sirius said from directly behind her; she jumped and turned—he was standing much too close to her, his face right next to hers.

"Congratulations, you have the power of observation," she snapped, opening the door all the way and walking inside Slughorn's office; she had to put some distance between them. "Professor Slughorn?" she called out again, though she knew there would be no answer. He clearly wasn't there.

"And you clearly don't," Sirius retorted, walking into the office as well. "Slughorn's not here, so just give the damn git's wand to McGonagall."

"She'll take points for dueling in the halls," Emmeline pointed out tartly. "And Slughorn won't care. _Why_ does your brother think we're bloody _shagging_?"

Sirius blinked at her. "You think _I_ told him that?" he asked incredulously. "I _hate_ the little prick. Here's an idea, Vance," he continued, his voice dripping with acidic sarcasm, "maybe he _overheard_ us bloody fighting in the middle of the hallway and used what little brains he's got?"

She scowled at him. "Well he definitely thinks we're shagging _now_, you arrogant bastard." At his bewildered look, she reminded him bitterly, "_At least I have dalliances...you even been with a girl yet?_ Why didn't you just—"

"Can I help you two with something, Vance, Black?" Professor Slughorn wheezed from the doorway, clutching a bottle of what looked to be red currant rum behind him.

Glaring at Sirius, Emmeline held out Regulus' wand to Slughorn and said, "Professor, Regulus Black tried to curse us in the hallways."

Slughorn frowned and repeated, "Regulus tried to curse you? No, no can't have that...I'll be having a talk with him..." He took the wand from Emmeline and shook his head disapprovingly. "Now off to class, you two...go on, go..."

"He was entirely unhelpful," Sirius said in her ear as they walked away from Slughorn's office. "And you lied to a teacher, Vance. A casual observer might say I'm a bad influence on you, love."

"I didn't lie!" she snapped, choosing to ignore the casual endearment. "He would've cursed us—definitely _you_—if he'd had the time."

"So you were protecting me? That's downright _sweet_ of you, Vance."

Her chin went up defiantly and she didn't dignify his comment with a response. They walked aimlessly in awkward silence until Sirius warned, "Wormtail's planning on asking you to Hogsmeade, and if he doesn't lose his nerve, he'll do it today. You'd better have an answer at the ready."

Emmeline frowned; she knew Sirius well enough to know from his tone that he what he was really saying was _you'd better have a good excuse to _not_ go with him_.

"What if I say yes?" she demanded defiantly, even as she knew she wouldn't.

"That would considered having an answer at the ready," he said coolly; she noticed he had shoved his hands into the pockets of his robes. After a brief silence, he asked quietly, "_Will _you say yes?"

"That's none of your business," she said calmly.

He was silent and she felt the air around them turn frigid. Finally he responded, his face unreadable, "I'll see you around, Vance."

--------------------

"_Who_ cursed you?" Madam Pomfrey wanted to know, scowling in disapproval as she smeared essence of murlap onto a particularly nasty sore on Regulus Black's arm.

Regulus gritted his teeth against the stinging in his arm and didn't answer. After all, what if it got out that bloody _Emmeline Vance_, in addition to bloody _shagging_ his _stupid_ brother, had managed to curse him? What would people _say_? What would _He_ say? Regulus shivered despite himself. No, best to not let this get out...Regulus Black, Slytherin Seeker, heir to the noble and most ancient house of Black, cursed by a filthy Mudblood...he could almost _hear_ Severus Snape jeering at him, the slimy git...

"Fine," Madam Pomfrey snapped. "Don't tell me. But I have to inform your Head of House that you were attacked—"

"I wasn't _attacked_," Regulus ground out frustratedly.

"Then what _happened_, Black?"

"I got into an argument with my brother," he lied; after all, it was no secret that Sirius and Regulus Black _loathed_ each other...and McGonagall would _definitely_ dock points from Gryffindor. Madam Pomfrey shook her head and said disapprovingly,

"You students need to learn how to settle conflict _without_ using wands..." she bustled away to get more murlap; one of Regulus' sores had burst open. He could her saying quietly to herself as she searched, "...although it _is_ one of the best Inflamed Boils Jinxes I've seen in years..."

Regulus scowled. He could just _hear_ his cousin Bellatrix if she found out that a damn _Muggleborn_ had been able to curse him so horribly.

There was a scorching pain in his left leg; he looked down in distaste. Another boil had burst and was oozing onto his sheets.

Emmeline Vance would get her comeuppance.

------------------------

Far from Hogwarts, a handful of people had clustered together, their faces masked and their wands at the ready. The group was small; yet despite its size, it possessed an air of dark foreboding. Its members stood several meters apart from each other, casting long, dark shadows on the grass around them. In the centre stood a tall, hooded figure; the others kept their distance from him, yet seemed to want to be as close to him as possible.

The figure beckoned to one of the members of the ring surrounding him; the one he had motioned over drew closer and kneeled, speaking in low, reverent tones.

"My Lord."

"I wish to speak with my newest—recruits," the figure in the centre said, his voice high and cold. "You shall arrange it, Lucius."

The kneeling figure dipped his head lower. "At once, my Lord."

"You have spoken to them." It was not a question; pale fingers twisted a long wand as the centre figure awaited confirmation.

"Yes, my Lord."

"And? Are they eager?"

"Eager and ready to serve you, my Lord."

"Excellent," the centre figure hissed. "And Dumbledore—he knows nothing?"

"Nothing, my Lord."

The centre figure gave a horrible, bone-chilling laugh. "This is most excellent news, Lucius," he said, a grim sort of pleasure in his terrible voice. "Most excellent news."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Once again, only in my dreams.

A/N: Just for the record, the actress who plays Luna Lovegood in HP5 was, hands down, the best part of the entire movie. Which I just saw last week. I know, I know, I'm a very bad fan.

Almost 2000 hits and 51 reviews...well, that's encouraging and discouraging. On the one hand, I've acquired some lovely regular reviewers...but on the other, some of you are reading and not reviewing—and if you have me on story alert, thank you because that's very encouraging, but please review as well! I always try to respond. :)

Anyway, I'm leaving for university in a few days, and because of all that college life entails, I'll only be able to work on this story (and give you well-written chapters) on occasion, so updates will be sporadic, at best. I'll try my hardest to update quickly, but I have to warn you that this fic will take the backseat to...er, life. But I hope you continue to review, review, review and I'll try my hardest to give you speedy updates!

This chapter goes out to all the Lily-James lovers out there.

* * *

Chapter Eight 

_I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it. –The Rolling Stones_

"—broken nose, _two_ black eyes—"

"Yeah, Amos Diggory—"

"—Sirius Black—"

"—wouldn't want to cross him, dunno what Amos was bloody _thinking_—"

Emmeline groaned inwardly; could she really _not_ get away from all these bloody rumours? The whispers swirled around her, although somehow her name had managed to escape from the murmurings of vicious tongues, something for which she was grateful—the last thing she wanted was to be the object of the jealous stares of fifth-year girls positively _besotted_ with stupid Sirius Black.

As far as she could tell from the gossip flying through the hallways, the most widely accepted story of how Amos Diggory managed to get himself two blackened eyes and a broken nose courtesy of one _incensed _Sirius Black was that Amos had nosed into Black's business—which, everyone knew, translated loosely into 'Diggory ruined a potential shag.' This unfounded speculation made Emmeline bristle with offended virtue every time she overheard clueless students chattering about it because she had most definitely _not _shagged Sirius bleeding _Black_, and she certainly had never had any intentions of doing so!

Her torrential thoughts were interrupted by Marlene waving her hand in front of her face.

"Are you even _listening_, Em?"

"No," Emmeline sighed, stabbing absently at her dinner.

"At least you're honest," Marlene said irritably. "Do try and listen, Vance, this is _important_. We were talking about Hogsmeade this weekend."

The words 'Hogsmeade this weekend' stirred something in Emmeline's memory…she slapped a palm to her forehead and this time didn't even try to hold back her groan. Lily glanced up at her, alarmed.

"Everything alright, Em?"

Instead of responding, Emmeline mumbled, _"Stupid_ Peter Pettigrew..."

A look of sympathetic understanding crossed Lily's face. "He asked you?"

"He's going to, later," Emmeline said exasperatedly. At Lily's raised eyebrows, she added hastily, "Si—Remus told me. So I could figure out what to say."

"Well, that should be easy enough," Marlene remarked. "Here, I'll help: _no_."

"Not that simple," Emmeline said gloomily. "Can't break the poor bloke's heart."

"Says bloody who?" Marlene demanded. "Do you _want_ to go with him?"

"No..."

"You're not _obligated_ to go with him to Hogsmeade," Marlene reminded her. "You don't owe Peter Pettigrew anything, Em. It's not your fault he fancies you."

"I can't just—just _flatten_ him like that though, Marlene...that would be cruel..."

Marlene gave her a look crossed between pitying and frustrated. "You don't have to be _cruel_ about it, Em. You can tell him, 'Look, Pete, you're a great bloke, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now.' No harm, no foul. And it's not even a _lie_." Her eyes sharpened keenly at Emmeline. "Unless you _are_ looking for a relationship?"

"_No_," Emmeline said emphatically even as Sirius Black's image swam before her mind's eye.

"Then just _tell_ Pettigrew that," Marlene advised wisely, nodding her head for added emphasis. "He'll be upset for a bit, then he'll move on—and we can eat in bloody _peace_ again."

"They're not here now," Emmeline pointed out, her mood brightening a bit at this previously unrealised fact.

"That's true..." Marlene said slowly. "Wonder what's going on?"

-------------------------------

"Go over it with me one more time, James."

"I've _told_ you, Wormtail, just go and ask her. The worst she can do is say no."

James' words failed to encourage Peter; rather, he turned an ashen shade of green.

"One more time," he repeated, voice shaking slightly.

James heaved a great sigh, as though Peter's request was a great burden and said in a bored voice, "Hello, Peter. What can I help you with?"

Peter inhaled deeply and then said, "Hello, Emmeline. How are you today?" By the sound of his voice, he seemed to be aiming for the casually bored arrogance that came so naturally to Sirius courtesy of his Black lineage.

Sirius, who was watching the exchanged with every appearance of great boredom, shook his head at Peter's emulation of him and interrupted, "Can we go down to dinner now? I'm bloody starving."

"_Shhh_!" Peter hissed nervously. "This has to go _perfectly_, Sirius!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and watched as Peter cleared his throat and looked expectantly at James.

Grinning at Sirius and pitching his voice into an unnaturally high falsetto, James chirped, "My day was _lovely_, Peter, how sweet of you to ask!"

Sirius snorted. "Oh, come _on_, Prongs, at least try to be realistic..."

_"__Shhh_!" Peter repeated furiously, turning to glare at Sirius, a mark of how determined he was to perfect this exchange. He turned back to James. "I was wondering, Emmeline..."

"Yes?" James sang out, struggling not to laugh, his mouth twitching.

"If you aren't already going with anyone to Hogsmeade this weekend, would you like to go with me?" Peter rushed out in a great breath. James batted his eyelashes at Peter and squealed breathily, "Of course, Peter! Oh, I'd _love_ to!"

"Now are you done?" Sirius demanded, scowling as he made his way to the door. Peter nodded silently but made no move to follow James and Sirius out of the dorm. James stopped at the door.

"Aren't you coming, Wormtail? Can't woo your girl if you're still in your dorm."

"I think—I think I'll wait for Remus to come up and I'll go down with him," Peter said faintly.

James exchanged a look with Sirius. "Wormtail, just grit your teeth and ask her out, mate...it's not hard."

"Yeah, James does it at least five times a day—and gets rejected—and he's still standing," Sirius added. Peter did not look comforted.

"No," he said, "I think I'll wait for Remus to come back from the library."

James shook his head. "Alright mate, but the longer you wait, the more likely you are to lose your nerve."

Peter shook his head, mumbled incoherently and waved them on. James exchanged another look with Sirius and something unspoken passed between them. Suddenly striding forward, the two grabbed Peter under his arms and pulled him through the door.

"It's for your own good, mate," James told Peter, who, although not struggling, had turned ghostly white. "Consider it a rite of passage...the first time for you ever ask a girl to go out with you...we've all done it, Wormtail, and it's high time you joined the ranks of men everywhere..."

"But what if she says no?" Peter asked fearfully.

"Then you've _really_ joined the ranks of men everywhere," James replied with a grin. "And it's really not so bad, getting rejected...I handle it alright..."

"I'm not entirely sure you know the definition of the word 'no'," Sirius said from Peter's other side; his hand was clenched down tightly on Peter's upper arm. "No worries, Wormtail, if Vance says no—" and Sirius was highly certain she would, or he wouldn't have been encouraging this proceeding, "—then you can probably get a sympathy date from a Hufflepuff."

---------------------------

"Oh, Merlin, Em, prepare yourself," Marlene mumbled, glancing down into her pumpkin juice. Emmeline's back stiffened and she whispered, "How far away?"

"Emmeline?"

She really should have been expecting that, Emmeline reflected glumly. "Yes, Peter?"

Peter was scuffing the floor of the Great Hall with one foot, his eyes trained on his shoe as though it held the secrets to the universe in its laces. He opened his mouth, and no sound came out.

James Potter frowned and pinched him a bit as Emmeline watched with growing dread. Peter cleared his throat and said something so quietly that Emmeline only caught several words.

"You—Hogsmeade—me?"

"I—well," Emmeline stammered; she wished the floor would open up and swallow her—anything to get away from those horribly hopeful eyes.

"She can't, Pettigrew," Marlene interrupted, leaning forward. "We've all agreed to stay with Dorcas this weekend. After her parents and everything, none of us thought she should be alone."

Feeling a great surge of gratitude and appreciation for Marlene McKinnon, Emmeline nodded emphatically. "Sorry, Peter. You understand?"

Peter looked as though he was torn between disappointment in the rejection and thrilled at the reason behind the rejection. "Of course I understand!" he squeaked. "Friends come first! Maybe next time, Emmeline?"

Emmeline made a non-committal sound. "See you round, then, Peter?"

"I'll bring you back sweets from Zonko's," he assured her, bustling away to where Remus Lupin had just entered the Great Hall. James winked at Lily—who was pointedly ignoring him—and Sirius leaned down and said in Emmeline's ear, "And you think you're above my influence," before they both followed Peter.

Marlene arched an eyebrow at Emmeline, who had turned a slight pink at Sirius' words. "He'll bring you back sweets from Zonko's, Em. How perfectly lovely of him." There was an odd look on Marlene's face, as though she wanted to say more but was resisting.

"Stuff it, McKinnon," Emmeline mumbled, embarrassed. "Thanks for that, by the way."

"Yes, well, you looked as though you were about to blurt out a yes just to keep the boy's heart intact and being the excellent friend that I am..." Marlene shrugged. "I simply _had_ to save you from your own kindness."

Lily looked pained. "You have to break it to him eventually, Em. This can't be allowed to continue, this _pining_."

"You think I _want_ it to continue?" Emmeline asked incredulously. "It's not like I _enjoy_ it! I have to dodge him everywhere I go!"

"Then you should march over there and tell him you're sorry, but you like him only as a friend," Lily said primly. Emmeline scowled at her.

"Because that tactic works so well with _Potter_," Marlene pointed out wryly. "Oh, can we not talk about them anymore? I'm bloody sick of it."

"I second that," Emmeline said quickly. "How's Dorcas managing?"

Marlene's face still held a trace of the odd look she had been sending Emmeline's way, but she responded, "As best as can be expected."

"Which means terribly," Lily translated, twirling her spoon in her cream cake dejectedly.

Once dinner had ended, Marlene caught Emmeline's arm and whispered hurriedly in her ear, "When Lily goes out on patrol, you and I are having a little heart-to-heart, Em."

Emmeline blinked and was about to respond when Marlene let go of her arm and began to walk ahead of her.

-----------------------

Once Lily had left for patrol, Marlene pointed at Emmeline and said, "Start talking, Vance."

Instead of answering, Emmeline glanced around and asked, "Where's Dorcas?"

"Getting tutoring for all the class she missed at the beginning of term. Don't avoid the question, Vance. I want to know all of it."

"All of what?"

"Whatever's going on between you and Sirius Black," Marlene replied matter-of-factly.

Emmeline felt herself blush. "Nothing's going between Sirius Black and me," she mumbled, which was true _now_, but Marlene still looked unconvinced.

"You're a terrible liar, Vance," she informed Emmeline.

Blushing harder, Emmeline protested weakly, "I'm not lying."

"Sure. That shite may work with Lily, Emmeline, but not with me," Marlene said bluntly, motioning Emmeline over to sit on her bed. "How long?"

"How long _what_?"

"Have you been doing whatever it is that you've been doing with Sirius Black that makes you turn that charming shade of red."

"It's just snogging!" Emmeline blurted out and then, as she realised what she had just said, clapped her hand to her mouth, wincing.

Marlene, however, looked wholly unsurprised. "I thought as much. You're not really the shagging type."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Emmeline said, a little stung.

"Oh, don't look so hurt, Em," Marlene said airily. "It means that you're not the kind of girl to just off and shag a bloke like Sirius Black. But I have to say I'm not surprised that this has happened."

"Marlene, _I_ was surprised that this happened," Emmeline said dryly, the vivid redness fading from her cheeks.

"Remember what I said before term started?" Marlene asked. "About Sirius Black becoming a distraction to you?"

Emmeline wrinkled her nose as she thought back to the day before term, which felt as though it had been ages ago, when in reality it had only been several weeks. Her cheeks burned again. "I remember. But he's not a distraction anymore."

Marlene looked confused. "But I thought you said—"

"I ended it."

Marlene gaped at her. _"Why_?"

"Because..." Emmeline hesitated and then plunged ahead; Marlene might as well know everything. "Amos Diggory told me—"

Marlene snorted derisively. "That patsy? You really listened to—"

"Marlene!"

"Fine, sorry."

"He told me about how he overheard Sirius telling James Potter he wanted to shag me."

Marlene looked at her expectantly, clearly waiting for the scandalous reveal. When none came she rolled her eyes. "And you ended it over something like _that_?"

Feeling very much like a five-year-old being chastised for running in the house, Emmeline nodded and then added hastily, "And because he put Amos in the hospital after that."

"Is _that_ why Diggory's in the hospital?" Marlene exclaimed. At Emmeline's nod, she said, "I'd wondered how much truth was in the rumours..."

Emmeline's cheeks burned again. "I am—_was_ never a potential shag for Sirius Black," she said forcefully. "That's complete bullocks!"

"Seeing as how no one knows who the girl is," Marlene pointed out keenly, "I think your reputation is safe."

"It only happened twice. And it's _over_, I ended it," Emmeline repeated, most of her pride having been long since chucked aside courtesy of one Marlene McKinnon.

"Well from the look on his face at dinner, he seems to have chosen to ignore that," Marlene remarked, arching her dark eyebrows at Emmeline and grinning suggestively. "Answer me this, Vance," she continued, leaning forward, her voice low, "How was he?"

Emmeline's face was on fire. "Marlene!"

"Oh stop looking so scandalised and answer the question," Marlene ordered playfully, nudging Emmeline's knee with her own.

Emmeline muttered something unintelligible and Marlene grinned. "I take that to mean he made your legs turn to jelly?"

"Oh, shut it," Emmeline grumbled, climbing off of Marlene's bed.

"I personally don't know what you're so wound up about," Marlene commented dryly. "I'd love a good snog, especially from someone like—"

The door to their dormitory swung open and Dorcas stormed in, looking thoroughly disgruntled.

"—Puddlemore United," Marlene covered smoothly. "How was the makeup Potions lesson, Dorcas?"

Dorcas shook her head. "Regulus Black was in there serving detention, which was bloody distracting. Em, you'd best watch yourself around that one—he's a nutter and he's got it out for you."

Emmeline, while hardly surprised by this news, blinked at Dorcas. "Did he _say_ something to you?" she demanded, the scene after the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match replaying itself in her mind.

Dorcas shook her head. "No, nothing like that...Slughorn mentioned it, and Regulus got this look on his face and he almost snapped his quill in half...especially whenever your name was brought up."

"What'd Slughorn say?" Emmeline wanted to know.

"Just that Regulus was stupid for trying to curse you and Sirius in the hallway. Why were you with Sirius?"

"We have the same free period," Emmeline said quickly; Marlene raised an eyebrow at her, as if to say, Well that explains a lot.

Dorcas accepted Emmeline's answer without comment and swiftly moved on. "He kept glaring at me...if looks could kill..." She shuddered and climbed over to her bed.

----------------

Regulus Black crumpled the letter in his hand. How had his mother found out about his argument with Sirius? He'd bet a thousand Galleons that _cow_ Madam Pomfrey had written her...and now he could expect to be hearing from Bellatrix?

He smoothed the letter out and reread his mother's admonishments. _You should learn how to protect yourself, although why you need to against the weak magic of a filthy Mudblood is disgraceful...I'm writing to Bellatrix, I believe she has learned many forms of duelling outside of Hogwarts...and she can ask Narcissa to keep an eye on you...do not disgrace this family, Regulus. _

He crumpled the letter again. He was not sodding five years old and he did not need Bellatrix to advise him on anything!

This was all that damn Mudblood's fault, that Emmeline Vance. His sores had not yet fully healed, something Severus Snape had nearly wet himself laughing over—as though bloody Snape was any better than Regulus…

There was another letter sitting next to him, one that he had not yet opened. He didn't want to know cousin Bella's opinion on his barely-healed boils, or on what his vengeance should be—it would be difficult enough already to reach Emmeline Vance, with Sirius hanging about her—not to mention what bloody Dumbledore would do if he knew anything of Regulus' thirst for revenge.

He picked up Bella's letter—the parchment was thick and creamy, his name written in an elegant, ladylike scroll. He turned the sealed letter over in his hands several times before plucking up all of his courage and breaking the blood-red wax seal on the back of the letter.

He read through the letter several times, each time gulping hard once he reached Bella's signature at the bottom of the parchment.

Bellatrix was going to tell Him.

------------------

Lily hunched over Emmeline's Transfiguration notes, trying to comprehend what they were saying. It wasn't Emmeline's handwriting—which was dismal at best, but Lily had been exchanging parchments and notes with Emmeline Vance for seven years now and could decipher the hieroglyphics—but the content of the notes. She had no idea what any of it meant, and she had a nasty feeling that if she tried to wake Emmeline up to ask her, she would be rewarded with a pillow to the head. Lily looked over at the enormous clock pushed back into the corner of the common room—it was almost 1 AM. She rubbed her forehead and inhaled deeply, trying to keep her tired and stressed nerves from snapping.

She pointed her wand at the chair in front of her and squinted down at Emmeline's notes—the spell was nonverbal. Lily grimaced—nonverbal spells were one of her weaknesses, especially in Transfiguration, a class in which she already had to work her arse off just to keep up.

Lily repeated the spell under her breath and then focused on the chair in front of her, saying the spell in her mind—and the cushion on the chair flopped a bit and was still.

Frustrated—for this was a typical result when Lily attempted Transfiguration outside of the classroom—she threw her wand down on the table and leaned back into the couch_. Why_ could she not do this? Why did Charms and Potions come so easily, so naturally to her, and yet Transfiguration remained an eternal enigma? Tears, aided by stress and tiredness, threatened the back of her eyes.

"Having difficulties, Evans?"

Lily suppressed a groan; this was all she needed: a good taunting from James sodding Potter.

"What's this?" he asked, picking up Emmeline's notes from the table. "Are these _Vance's_ notes? Her writing's horrible!"

"I'm well aware," she said through gritted teeth. "Why are you back so late from patrol?"

He grinned at her and put Emmeline's notes down, pulling a treacle tart from the pockets of his robes. "Went to the kitchens. Want it?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm studying, Potter."

He dropped down lazily into the spot on the couch next to her. "Take a break. Come on, they're your favourite..." He waved the tart temptingly in front of her face.

Rolling her eyes, she took the dessert from him and said, "Now go away."

He stretched himself out to his full length next to her and Lily felt something catch in her chest. Ignoring it, she put the tart on the table and picked her wand back up, pointing it at the chair and trying again.

She could feel James' eyes on her as she swished her wand at the chair, could feel his eyes on her face as she fought back more tears of frustration and exhaustion when nothing happened. The cushion didn't even move this time.

"You're doing it wrong," he said finally, sitting up. "It's like this." And before she could protest, or jerk away from him, his right arm had settled on top of hers and his hand closed around the hand in which she was holding her wand.

"Now," he said, and she had to stop herself from jumping—his face was nearly touching hers, his breath tickling her ear. "It's less of a long swish and more of a sharp flick." The hand he had wrapped around hers demonstrated. "And you have to really concentrate on what you want the spell to do—less on the actual spell."

He flicked her wand again and the chair vanished. In its place had appeared several scurrying mice, squeaking fearfully. James motioned her wand again, her hand still trapped under his. The mice disappeared and the chair was back.

"Think you've got it now?" he asked, tilting his face so he could see into hers—and her heart started pounding furiously, as though she were running a marathon. Their faces were much too close but her brain seemed unable to send the signals to her muscles required to allow her to move away.

"Yeah," she said, and she didn't really recognise her own voice—it had gone slightly hoarse and low. She swallowed, trying to clear her throat. "I've got it now."

"Good," he said, but he didn't move his hand or his face away from hers. His eyes flickered down to her mouth, and she _knew_ it was coming, she was waiting for him to kiss her and he said, "Lily..."

She barely registered her own name because his face was much too close—it had taken over her vision; all she could see was James Potter. His mouth was a hair's breadth away from hers.

"Enjoy the treacle tart," he said finally, releasing her hand and standing. She felt as though he had snatched away her sole source of warmth in the middle of winter.

"Thanks," was all she said, absently staring down at her arm where his had covered it.

Once his back was turned to her, James let a wide, triumphant grin split his face.

--------------------

"You alright, Evans?" Emmeline asked Lily, looking concerned. "You look..." she paused, searching for the proper words, "Tired. Very tired. What time did you come up after patrol?"

"Late," Lily mumbled, poking her sausages with her fork. "I came up late. You barely moved when I turned the light on."

"Why'd you stay up so late?" Emmeline wanted to know. Lily glanced at her and hesitated.

"Oh, come on, Evans, out with it," Emmeline prodded. "Marlene and Dorcas haven't even come down yet, you can tell me."

Lily considered Emmeline for a long moment then said, "You can't laugh. Or gasp. Or say you told me so. _Or react in any way_." She brandished her fork threateningly.

Emmeline snorted. "Merlin, Evans. Did you shag someone?"

Lily choked on her pumpkin juice and Emmeline's mouth dropped open. "You _did_?"

"_No_!" Lily snapped, coughing. "And don't be so bloody loud!"

Emmeline reached towards the middle of the table and picked up the still rolled-up copy of the_ Daily Prophet_ that had come with the early-morning owl post and smacked Lily on the shoulder with it. "Don't scare me like that, Evans!"

Lily rolled her eyes. "Do you want to know what happened last night or not?"

"I want to know what happened last night," Emmeline said immediately.

"Promise me you won't laugh or—"

"I promise I won't react in any way, Evans. Stop stalling."

Lily took a deep breath. "I almost snogged James Potter."

Emmeline's mouth twitched. "Almost?"

"Almost," Lily confirmed.

"Why didn't you?"

"I wanted to."

Emmeline's eyebrows shot up. "And he—he didn't?"

Lily shrugged, her cheeks turning bright pink. "He…he just sort of—left."

"He left?" Emmeline repeated, her forehead wrinkling in confusion. "James Potter had you exactly where he's been trying to get you for five years—at least—and he just..._left_?"

Lily nodded glumly. "Without looking back."

Emmeline sat back in her chair. "Wow."

"Em..." Lily hesitated and then rushed out, "What if—what if I start...you know...liking Potter and he...well..."

"Lily," Emmeline interrupted. "James Potter has been in love with you since second year. He's not going to stop being in love with you because you start feeling things for him. He might spontaneously _combust_, but he's not going to fall out of love with you. He'll still be an arrogant git, though," she added, almost as an afterthought.

Lily smiled weakly. "I—oh, hey, Kingsley."

Emmeline turned and gave Kingsley Shacklebolt, another seventh year Gryffindor, a small smile. "Hey Kingsley," she echoed Lily.

"Lily, Emmeline," Kingsley said, and Emmeline found her insides melting at his smooth, deep voice. She always was a sucker for deep, masculine voices. "I was wondering if you had heard about the meeting tonight?"

"We haven't heard anything," Lily said, looking confused.

Kingsley frowned and said, "Black was supposed to tell you—we're to be in Dumbledore's office at seven tonight." His voice became quieter and Emmeline had to strain to hear him. "For the Order."

Lily glanced at Emmeline, who was frowning. "Thanks, Kingsley." He nodded to them and went to sit further down the table.

"Black was supposed to tell us," Emmeline repeated.

Lily instantly knew where this was headed. "Oh, Em, I'm sure he was just really busy—it's N.E.W.T. year, after all, we're all overloaded—"

"Kingsley had time to tell us," Emmeline pointed out, eyes snapping. "Why didn't Sirius?"

"You're overreacting," Lily reasoned. "It's not a big deal, Em—"

But Emmeline ignored her and turned her attention back on her food.

-------------------

The library was quiet and almost peaceful—as peaceful as Madam Pince would allow, being a firm believer in that too much peace means something is amiss—when Emmeline stormed through the doors, determined to find one Sirius Black and jinx him into next month.

He had failed to tell her about the Order meeting on purpose, she was sure. Whether his motives were to get her to come talk to him or to simply piss her off, she didn't know—but she did know he was about to meet the wrong end of her wand. Damn Blacks.

She found him sitting in the very back, slouching against the wall, sideways to the table, a thick book on his lap and his eyes closed. Her eyes narrowed and she hissed at him, "Black!"

He didn't even open his eyes. "Sleeping, Vance."

She glanced behind her to make sure Madam Pince was still up near the front of the library, beadily eyeing a group of sixth years. With this confirmed, Emmeline faced Sirius and demanded forcefully, "Why didn't you tell me the meeting was tonight?"

His eyes opened. "Shit. I forgot."

She glared at him. "Something as minute and unimportant as the bloody _Order_ meeting?" she whispered furiously.

Sirius eyed her. "You're not nearly as angry as you think you are," he observed with a small smirk that made her blood boil. She chose to ignore him.

"How can you forget something like that? Unless you—"

"Vance," he interrupted her, closing his eyes again, "do us all a favour and _shut it_."

Her mouth dropped open and she wanted to scream at him—but no sound came out of her throat, a blessing in disguise when Emmeline looked back, as Madam Pince would have appeared at her side in an instant.

Finally, she gathered herself up and said, her voice icy cold, "Kiss my arse, Black." And, disgusted with herself that _those_ lips had ever touched hers, she turned her back to him and walked away. She heard him say from behind her, "I'd love to, but you'd hex me..."

She fumed and didn't turn around.

-------------------

Regulus twisted his hands nervously. He'd seen Sirius go in the library, seen Emmeline Vance—that stupid Mudblood—go in and come back out, looking as though she could spit nails, and now all that remained was for him to pluck up his courage and go in there.

He'd made up his mind around four that morning to try and warn Sirius about Bella's plans—if anyone was a match for Bellatrix, it was Sirius. And his loathing for his brother didn't extend far enough that he would keep silent on what Bella had planned for Sirius and his sodding girlfriend.

Because really, if Sirius wanted to shag filth, it was no skin off Regulus' nose. But if Dumbledore found out he, Regulus, had allowed something so horrendous to happen—Regulus shuddered. Punishment would be severe. And He never had to know.

He took a deep breath and opened the doors to the library; Madam Pince smiled warmly at him—she had always been fond of him. He smiled weakly back and walked towards the back, where he knew Sirius would be.

Sirius was leaning against the back wall, his eyes closed, smirking about something Regulus wasn't privy to knowing—although he suspected it had something to do with why Emmeline Vance had left the library in such a furious state. His skin crawled; he could only imagine what they had been doing.

"Sirius," Regulus said quietly.

Sirius' eyes flew open and a look of disgust equal to what Regulus was feeling spread over his face. "Yeah?" he snapped.

"There's something you need to know. About—" Regulus hesitated, "—about what happened the other day."

"You mean when Vance—a _Muggleborn_—hexed your sorry arse?" There was something akin to haughty pride in Sirius' voice.

"Yes, about that," Regulus said through gritted teeth. Trust Sirius to make this harder than it already was. "I—"

"Your boils haven't fully healed, have they, Regulus? Because I couldn't really tell the difference between that and your normal appearance. Vance did an excellent job on you."

Regulus' mouth snapped shut; all of his resolve from four o'clock that morning had vanished.

"Very well," he said coolly and without another word of warning, he left in the same fashion as Emmeline had.

-----------------------

"Good evening," Dumbledore called out cheerfully as students filed into his office. Emmeline took her seat between Lily and Marlene and glanced around—several tired-looking wizards were leaning on the walls behind Dumbledore's desk. They were Aurors from the looks of it, and she would imagine they seemed so exhausted because of the headlines in the _Daily Prophet_.

At Dumbledore's words, everyone fell silent, looking around expectantly.

"This," Dumbledore said, beaming at them, "is Alastor Moody, an expertly trained Auror for the Ministry for Magic."

"They look like a rambunctious lot," Moody growled at Dumbledore. "Are you sure about them, Dumbledore?"

"Oh yes, quite sure," Dumbledore confirmed cheerfully. "They are all of age and excellent wizards and witches, Alastor. Now, if you please—" Dumbledore motioned Moody over to the centre of the office and sat down behind his desk. Emmeline glanced at Marlene, who shrugged.

Moody eyeballed them with distaste. "You're all of age?" he barked, and Emmeline _knew_ Dumbledore had just told him that they were—so why was he asking again?

They all nodded silently.

"Good," Moody said approvingly. "Then I can speak frankly." He paced and continued, "The Ministry thinks Voldemort is only a temporary threat." He narrowed his eyes at them. "I say the Ministry needs to look up the definition of _temporary_. Voldemort knows what he's doing—he's a smart one."

"What's he doing?" James Potter asked loudly.

Moody eyed him with distaste before he answered, "Terrible things, boy." He glanced back at Dumbledore, who nodded slowly. Moody turned back around. "He's murdered a fair number of good witches and wizards—and a higher number of Muggles."

Next to Lily, Dorcas gave a small flinch.

Moody continued to look derisively at them. "What you have learned in school will not prepare you for what is out there, waiting for you. Nothing can prepare you for the things I've seen. These people...they have no scruples, no morals; I've heard it said they don't even have souls." He fixed them with a no-nonsense glare. "I wouldn't be knowing a thing about that, but I'll tell you this much—a more vile, pitiless group I've never seen the likes of before."

He looked back again at Dumbledore, who nodded as before. "Thank you, Alastor," he said quietly as Moody went back to lean against the wall with the other wizards.

"Oh and Dumbledore," Moody rumbled from the side, "he's got a new plan against you." The wizard next to Moody, who had thick, bright red hair and lopsided glasses, nudged him warningly.

Moody barked to the wizard, "What, Arthur? They've all agreed to it, they're all of age! They're members of the Order, just as much as we are!"

"Yes, but they are still in school," the redheaded wizard said calmly. "And since it's happening at Hogwarts—"

"Enough," Dumbledore said gently. "They will be told when the time is right." At this cryptic statement, Emmeline looked around; she was not the only confused one.

"What's happening at Hogwarts?" Sirius Black wanted to know. Emmeline looked away, fury snapping at her. _Arsehole_.

Moody snorted and snapped out, "You're Sirius Black, aren't you, boy?" Sirius scowled at him. "I thought so," Moody continued, undaunted. "They all have the same arrogant look," he told the redheaded Arthur next to him. Turning back to Sirius, Moody said waspishly, "Why don't you ask your brother, Black? Or better yet, your cousin Bellatrix?"

Emmeline's eyebrows went up and Marlene pinched her lightly. "Look at Sirius' face," Marlene whispered. Indeed, Sirius looked ready to throttle Alastor Moody—Emmeline had never seen him look so angry, not even when Regulus had been shouting insults to them in the hallways.

She waited for Sirius to give Moody a cheeky retort, but none came. Instead Sirius simply looked away—right at her. Her chin went up but she didn't break his gaze—she wasn't going to be the first one to back down.

Something shifted in his eyes and he smirked at her—that horrible arrogant and haughty smirk that simply _dripped_ with money. She hated that damn smirk and was positively _itching_ to curse it off his face—

"Em, you're staring," Marlene whispered. "It's a bit obvious." Her voice became amused. "And a bit too fervent for something that's _over_."

Emmeline tore her gaze from Sirius. "He's _infuriating_," she hissed back. Marlene grinned.

"Yes, I know," she said with a half sympathetic, half amused shake of her head. "And I have say, Vance, if Sirius Black were looking at me the way he's looking at you right now—no, don't look back over, that's bleeding _obvious_—I'd be searching for cozy private broom closet right about now."

"A broom closet?" Emmeline repeated blankly. "What for?"

Marlene's grin widened and she winked at Emmeline. "Oh, you know...a little of this, a little of that..."

Emmeline turned bright red.

"What are you two whispering about?" Lily demanded quietly.

"The Order," Marlene lied smoothly. "That Moody is quite the cheery bloke, don't you think?"

------------------

"Potter!"

James grinned. "Yes, Evans?"

"Where are you going? We still have to patrol!"

"I was just going to run down to the kitchens, get something to eat—you fancy a treacle tart?" He grinned as she turned bright pink, clearly remembering the previous night.

"No, Potter," she snapped. "You were wrong about treacle tart being my favourite dessert."  
""Was I?"

"Yes. I can't _stand_ treacle tart." She shoved past him, a flurry of red hair, black robes and disgust. Although, he reminded himself gleefully, she hadn't seemed too disgusted last night...

"I don't know, Evans," he drawled. "You seemed to like treacle tart well enough last night."

Her face turned an even brighter pink. "Just go patrol, Potter," she ordered. He mock-saluted her and called out as she walked away from him, "Hogsmeade is this weekend, Evans."

"No, Potter!"

He laughed a little. "Always assuming...I was going to say that I hope you're not heartbroken when I take someone else."

-------------------

"He's taking someone _else_?"

"That's what she said, Marlene."

"Oh, shut it, Vance! Lily, he _can't_ take someone else!"

"He said he was."

"Did he say who?"

"No, Dorcas, he didn't say who."

"We'll find out," Marlene promised, looking horrified at the thought of James Potter with an unknown, faceless girl in Hogsmeade.

"I'd rather you not."

"Why not?"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, Marlene, leave her alone! She doesn't want to know who the bloody girl is!"

Marlene blinked. "Damn, Emmeline, you don't have to get _upset_ about it."

"Sorry," Emmeline mumbled, rubbing her forehead. "Bad day."

"Know the feeling," Dorcas sympathized from under her covers.

Lily shot a pleading look at Emmeline, who went over to sit on Lily's bed. "We'll talk later," Emmeline said softly, glancing over at where Marlene silently fumed and Dorcas was trying to sleep. Lily nodded silently.

After Dorcas and Marlene had both finally fallen asleep, Lily and Emmeline slipped down into the common room.

"He doesn't like me anymore," Lily said softly, plucking at a loose thread on the pillow she held over her stomach. She looked so tiny and fragile that it was all Emmeline could do to not throw her arms around Lily's shoulders and promise her that she would curse James Potter until she turned blue in the face.

"You don't know that," Emmeline argued fiercely. "This could all be part of some...some new tactic he's trying to use to get you to go out with him."

"After _five years of_ the same tactics?" Lily pointed out quietly. She laughed a little. "You have to admit, Em, it's poetic justice...as soon as he moves on, like I've been bloody _screaming_ at him to do for five years, I start—falling for him." She laughed again and Emmeline's heart went out to her.

"He's not—he can't—_no_," Emmeline protested weakly. "Just...no."

"You're very convincing, Em," Lily said, her voice falsely light. "I...I think I'll go to bed now."

Emmeline stayed where she was, staring into the dying fire. _What_ in the bleeding _hell_ was James Potter's problem? Had he not been annoying her for advice on Lily just two weeks ago?

The portrait creaked open and someone hissed, "Shut up, Wormtail, you're breathing too loud!"

"Sorry—"

"Damn it, that's my foot!"

Emmeline straightened and waited until they were in front of her, revelling in their own cleverness and clearly convinced they had not been caught.

"Potter," she called out, and even she was surprised at how very _cold_ her voice was. All four of them flinched and she saw Peter shiver—though she couldn't be sure if that wasn't actually from her mere _presence_. She mentally winced—when did she become such a _bitch_?

"Yes, Vance?" James asked pleasantly, nodding at the others to continue up to their dorm. Sirius Black sent her a long look the implications of which she didn't even want to _start_ processing. She stood and drew herself up to her full height—which still barely reached his shoulder.

_"What_ is your bloody _problem_?" she demanded, poking him in the chest to emphasize her words. He blinked.

"Excuse me?"

"Your _problem_, Potter!" she snapped. "You asked me—not a _fortnight_ ago—how to best win Lily Evans, and now you're—you're—" she seemed unable to find the right words to describe just exactly how heinous he was, finally settling on, "you bloody _bastard_!"

She fixed him with a fierce glare and when he didn't say anything in his own defense she shook her head disgustedly. "Just...sod off, Potter," she said finally. "And stay away from my best friend," she added threateningly before stomping up the stairs towards the girls' dormitory.

James watched her go, not smiling. 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.

A/N: Sorry that this is so short; it'll be nice and long next time. Many thanks to everyone who reviewed, and apologies for taking so long to write this…I've just been so busy! Hopefully it won't be as long a wait next time. Don't forget to review!

* * *

Chapter Nine 

_Just hold on loosely, but don't let go. —.38 Special_

"What'd Vance want?" Sirius asked, aiming for casual indifference and succeeding—although the others were too distracted to notice. James ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

"My brilliant plan's falling apart," he confessed, collapsing on his bed and sighing deeply. "I've been threatened by the best friend—never a good sign."

"Emmeline _threatened_ you?" Peter squeaked disbelievingly. "She would _never_—"

"You obviously don't know your lady love as well as you think you do, Wormtail," Sirius cut him off bluntly. "What'd she say, Prongs?" he repeated to James.

James heaved another heavy, dramatic sigh. "Oh, the usual protective best friend speeches…if I hurt Lily, she'd kill me…hex my unmentionables off…" Peter's head shot up in alarm. "…something to that effect."

"But that means your 'brilliant plan' _is_ working," Remus pointed out dryly. "If Lily's upset enough about you going to Hogsmeade with—who, again?—for Emmeline to confront you…"

This logical reasoning didn't seem to comfort James. "I didn't want to _hurt_ her," he said glumly. "Just drive her to distraction."

"I think you're wrong about Emmeline," Peter told Sirius stubbornly. "She wouldn't do something like that!"

Sirius gave an incredulous snort. "Honestly, Wormtail, are you that bloody _thick_? How many sodding conversations have you _actually_ had with the girl?"

Peter opened his mouth to retort—and then promptly shut it as he clearly realized that he had only had a handful of what could be considered actual conversations with Emmeline Vance. Sirius looked smug and turned back to James.

"I wouldn't worry too much about it, mate," he advised. "Go to Hogsmeade with—whoever she is and enjoy yourself. Evans has to know that you're not going to wait forever."

James blinked. "I _would_ wait forever," he argued. "That's the _point_, Padfoot. She's _the_ bloody girl, mate." He shook his head. "I'm not going to Hogsmeade with that Ravenclaw—I _can't_. I can't do that to Lily."

"That Ravenclaw?" Remus repeated amusedly. "_You_ don't even know her name?"

"Didn't bother to ask, tell you the truth," James admitted sheepishly.

---------------------

The Saturday of Hogsmeade weekend dawned a bright, sunny day with just enough of a cool breeze to remind the students of Hogwarts that autumn was fast approaching. Emmeline was staring longingly at the tall sunlit windows of the Great Hall, wishing she hadn't agreed to stay inside with Dorcas—and then she immediately chastised herself. Dorcas was still having a difficult time dealing with her parents' deaths and she needed her friends. Emmeline resolutely picked up a blueberry scone from the pile in front of her. After all, she reminded herself, if it had been—God forbid—_her_ parents, wouldn't she want her friends to be there for her?

Feeling somewhat abashed, Emmeline was grateful when distraction arrived in the form of the weekend post, which soared into her lap courtesy of one of the school owls. The feeling of anticipation and dread that seemed to always accompany picking up a copy of the _Prophet_ in these strange times filled her stomach and she took her time untying the string around the newspaper.

As she had expected, the front page was dedicated to Voldemort—who the Ministry was refusing to call by his name, referring to him as You-Know-Who. That was decidedly stupid, Emmeline thought. Why was the Ministry giving him the satisfaction of _knowing_ how very terrified of him they were? She shook her head and continued to scan the front page.

A small, neat article near the bottom caught her eye: **KNOWN DEATH EATERS** it read. Her eyebrows went up. If the Ministry _knew_ people who were Death Eaters, _why_ didn't they bloody _arrest_ them? As she skimmed down the list, her breath caught in her chest at a familiar name.

Bellatrix Black.

But—but Sirius had _said_ he hated the lot of them, she reminded herself as her heart raced. He had said they were a bunch of nutters and that he was nothing—_nothing_ like them. _And then you kissed him_, a small voice in the back of her mind jeered. Had she kissed a…a _Death Eater_? No. He wasn't a Death Eater. Dumbledore trusted him enough to invite him to join the Order of the Phoenix…upon remembering this fact, Emmeline's heart rate slowed and relief flooded her veins. She berated herself for being so silly—Sirius Black? A Death Eater? She really needed to get her imagination under control.

"You're up early, Em," Marlene commented, sitting across from Emmeline and picking up a piece of bacon.

"Couldn't sleep," Emmeline admitted, sipping her tea.

Marlene's eyebrows went up and she grinned. "If I had ever been bloody _lucky_ enough to snog Sirius Black, I wouldn't be able to sleep either. Of course, I wouldn't be able to sleep for a different reason." She took a long swig of juice, waiting for Emmeline's curiosity to get the best of her.

True to form, Emmeline couldn't resist—she took the bait. "Why's that?"

"I'd be shagging the fool out of him," Marlene said cheerfully.

"Shagging who?" James Potter asked cheerfully, sitting next to Emmeline and sending her his most charming smile. She, aside from tensing and narrowing her eyes at her plate, ignored him.

"You, Potter," Marlene said, batting her eyelashes flirtatiously at him. "You interested?"

"Already getting shagging requests, Prongs?" Sirius Black said, smirking as he sat down on Emmeline's other side. "It's not even eight in the morning—that _must_ be a new record." She ignored him too.

James shrugged lightly. "I try not to keep count," he sighed. "There's too many to keep up with."

Emmeline snorted. "You're both disgusting," she informed them flatly, tossing the half-eaten scone back onto her plate and standing. "I'll see you back in the dorm, Marlene." Pinning James with a scorching glare, she left.

"She usually reserves that look for me," Sirius remarked casually, picking up the scone from Emmeline's abandoned plate and helping himself. Marlene was watching him as though he were a very interesting television program. James sighed.

"She's your best mate," he said to Marlene. "Can you put in a good word for me?" Marlene's dark eyes snapped to his.

"Are we still talking about Emmeline?" she asked coyly.

James' mouth twitched. "I've got a handle on Evans," he told her.

"I'm sure Lily will be very interested in hearing that," Marlene remarked amusedly. James grinned at her and stood.

"Have fun in the castle _alone_, Padfoot," he said, clapping Sirius on the back and going the same way as Emmeline.

Sirius watched James leave and shook his head. "I do _one_ stupid thing—"

"You put Amos Diggory in the hospital wing," Marlene interrupted. "That's the equivalent of _several_ stupid things, Black." She paused, weighing her next words carefully. "Are you—do you…" she hesitated.

"Spit it out, McKinnon," Sirius advised, reaching over and finishing Emmeline's pumpkin juice. Marlene's eyes followed his movements.

"Are you in love with Emmeline?" she asked finally, meeting his gray eyes with difficulty.

The question didn't seem to faze him in the slightest. "No," he said without hesitation, putting Emmeline's goblet down. "How much did she tell you?"

"All of it."

"Then you know she says it's over."

"I know she _thinks_ it's over."

"What do you think?"

"I think you have other things in mind. You _always_ have other things in mind." Something passed in her eyes and she looked away from him.

He smirked at her. "Doesn't mean I act on them."

Looking back at him, Marlene leaned forward. "I think you're planning to act them. You're _always_ planning to act on them, when it comes to girls. Especially girls like Emmeline."

"Girls like Emmeline?" he repeated, looking amused. "What's that even _mean_, McKinnon?"

Her eyes narrowed. "You know _exactly_ what it means. Your best mate is in love with her, so by rights, you're _not allowed_. And we both know how hard it is for you to resist _temptation_."

Understanding that the conversation had swiftly changed course, Sirius lowered his voice. "I don't remember you complaining, McKinnon."

"That was different," she said flatly. "I knew what I was getting into."

"Emmeline—"

"—_doesn't_ know what she's getting into. For God's sake, Sirius, you were only the third boy to ever bloody _kiss_ her!"

One of his eyebrows went up. "Who were the other two?"

"That's not the bloody _point_! She's not that kind of girl!"

"I know that."

"I don't think you do!" Marlene said forcefully. "She's…she's not like…like _me_, Sirius! You can't get into her knickers with a well-timed bottle of firewhiskey and a sympathetic ear!"

His eyes sharpened on Marlene's threatening face. "I know that," he repeated. "It was a long time ago, McKinnon."

"Yeah, well it doesn't seem like a long enough time when you're trying to get into one of my best mate's knickers," she snapped. "Emmeline's not like me, Sirius. If you shag her, she won't see it for what is—she'll see it as something _meaningful_! She'll think you actually _care_ about her!"

Sirius was silent. Marlene blinked and then snorted in disbelief. "You do. You do care about her. You _bastard_."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence; Sirius didn't deny her accusation.

"How've you managed to keep it a secret for so long?" he asked finally, attempting to steer her off the subject.

"I'm a good actress. Or a good liar. One of the two," she snapped bitterly. "And Emmeline didn't really ask how I knew there was something between the two of you." She stood to leave. "If you hurt her…" she said threateningly.

"Yes, I know," Sirius said tonelessly. "You'll do unspeakable things to me."

-------------------

"You don't have to stay with me," Dorcas said softly, sitting on the common room couch with her legs crossed underneath her. "I don't need _watchers_."

Emmeline grinned at her. "I'm not here for _you_," she informed Dorcas. "I'm here because it was this or go to Hogsmeade with Peter Pettigrew." She wrinkled her nose. "Honestly, Meadowes. I've had to make hard decisions before, and _that_ was not one of them."

Dorcas smiled at her. "I appreciate the effort, Em."

"No bloody effort involved, Meadowes. Like I said, it was this or Pettigrew."

"You should really tell Wormtail that, Vance. So he can stop pining," Sirius Black called out from the doorway. Emmeline rolled her eyes at Dorcas and shook her head.

"Don't you have anywhere else to be?" she snapped.

"Nope," he said cheerfully. "Banned from Hogsmeade." His eyes met hers and he smirked at her; and the mocking laughter in his eyes was reminding her _why_ he was banned. She turned her back to him and, laughing slightly, he sat next to Dorcas.

"How _is_ Amos?" Sirius asked, and Emmeline's blood boiled at his breezy, unconcerned tone.

Dorcas' mouth twitched. "He's been fine for a few days now. Got released on Wednesday, I think."

Sirius stretched his arms and clasped his hands behind his head, leaning back in his seat. "See, Vance? He's fine. You can talk to me now."

"You're assuming I _want_ to talk to you," Emmeline retorted.

"You want to do more than just _talk_ to me," Sirius said with a grin, winking at her.

"Yeah, I want to hex you," she snapped. Dorcas fought back a smile and stood to leave, wondering if the two would even notice.

"Oh come _on_, Vance," Sirius said impatiently, dropping his previous playfulness. "Why can't you just—"

"Because Amos is my _friend_," she said flatly. "Which apparently means nothing to you."

"Is Diggory _worth_ it, Vance? I had no idea you two were so _close_."

Emmeline flushed and stood up abruptly. "There's a lot of things you don't know," she said coldly, turning her back to him and leaving.

--------------------------

"I don't understand. What did I do?"

"It's not really _you_ so much as it's me…" James trailed off at the stricken look on the pretty brunette girl's face. "I mean," he corrected himself smoothly, "I just don't have the _time_ to treat a lovely girl like you the way you should be treated." He smiled charmingly at her. "Yeah?"

The girl looked torn between believing him and holding onto her hurt pride; finally she simply nodded, sniffed, and left.

James exhaled and caught Lupin's eye. "I'm going back to the castle," he explained, as though his plan should be perfectly obvious.

"To keep Sirius company?" Peter asked absently as he poured over a jar of sweets.

Remus' mouth twitched and James snorted. "Yeah, that's why, Wormtail. You got it in one."

"Really?"

"_No_, Wormtail. I'm going to try and smooth things over with Emmeline."

Peter brightened at her name. "Ooh, I'll come with you!"

"Can't let you do that, mate. One man mission."

Peter's face visibly fell and he turned back to the sweets jar with less enthusiasm than before.

"Odds are though," James added in an undertone to Remus, "that wherever Emmeline is, Sirius isn't far behind."

------------------

"Would you just leave me alone?"

"What did you mean?" Sirius demanded, ignoring Emmeline's snippy request and pulling her aside. "That there's a lot I don't know?"

"I would think it's obvious," she snapped, pulling her arm out of his grasp; he let it slide away.

"Pretend I'm slow."

She opened her mouth and he cut her off, "_Don't_ say it."

Sighing exasperatedly, she elaborated, "You _don't_ know everything about everything, Sirius! You don't know what Lily's going through with your _loony_ best friend, or what Dorcas is dealing with—"

"Cut me some slack, Vance. I can't know everything."

"Did you know your cousin is a Death Eater?"

"Bellatrix?" She nodded mutely.

"Doesn't surprise me." His eyes narrowed.

"We've had this conversation, Vance. There's them and then there's me."

"You put Amos Diggory in the hospital," she reminded him.

"So bloody _what_? Is that a bloody _Dark Mark_ on my arm?"

"Sirius—"

"Damn it, Vance, you're a bloody _Muggleborn_! And you can do magic! Doesn't that tell you that people don't always follow their bloodlines?"

She had never thought of it that way and was looking right into his eyes—dark gray eyes that wouldn't leave her alone.

"Bellatrix is barely human," Sirius said coldly. "I would hope that bloodying Amos Diggory's nose wouldn't equate me with her."

"It doesn't," she said quietly. "I—I trust you."

The atmosphere suddenly shifted from tight tension to his eyes sharpening on her face and his hands coming up to her arms. She made a mental note that she was _not_ against a wall—whenever she wanted to, she could simply step back.

"Yeah?" he asked, the corner of his mouth twitching.

She blew her fringe out of her eyes and he reached out and wrapped a strand of her blonde hair around his index finger. "Yeah," she confirmed, crossing her arms, trying to remind herself that Sirius Black was _not_ a good bloke, that he came from a long line of not good blokes, and that his best friend was currently breaking _her_ best friend's heart.

"Emmeline?" James Potter's voice called. Emmeline flinched and Sirius looked in the direction of the noise.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at her. "Should I be jealous?"

She glared at him. "Shut it. What's he want?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Let me just use my mind-reading powers, Vance and I'll tell you."

"Emmeline!" James called again.

Emmeline shook her head and stomped away. "What?" she shouted into the depths of the castle.

"Where are you?"

"What do you want, Potter?"

There was silence. Then, "Padfoot?"

From behind Emmeline, Sirius gave a snort. "Here, Prongs. Third floor stairwell."

There was the sound of footsteps coming closer and Sirius sidled up behind Emmeline, his frame covering hers, and breathed in her ear, "Have fun, Vance." And then he was gone.

"Where'd Padfoot go?" James asked when he arrived.

"Who knows," Emmeline muttered under breath. "What do you want?" she asked him bluntly.

James took a deep breath, as though he was about to dive into the lake. "Look, Vance," he began. "I didn't go to Hogsmeade with that girl."

She looked unfazed. "What's the girl's name, Potter?"

James blinked. "Excuse me?"

"What's her _name_?"

"Why?"

"Do you not even know this poor girl's name, Potter?" Emmeline demanded disbelievingly.

"I know her name!"

"If you can't be expected to learn the name of the girl you're taking to Hogsmeade, how can you be trusted with my best friend's heart, Potter?"

"I don't love the girl I was taking—_past_ tense, Vance—to Hogsmeade!"

Emmeline blinked. "Love?"

James stopped and silently repeated his previous words to himself. Damn it.

"Yeah," he said, and Emmeline's eyes softened a fraction. "Well, yeah, Vance."

"You love her?"

"Have since third year."

"But you've always had a girls chasing you—"

"What would you have me do?" he interrupted. "Sit in my dorm room, twiddling my thumbs because Lily Evans has no interest in me?"

Emmeline was quiet and then said, "Had."

"What?"

"You said she _has_ no interest in you. She _had_ no interest in you."

James stared at her and then she saw the words click in his brain. And she chose that time to leave.

----------------------

_I trust you_.

Emmeline Vance trusted him.

Had anyone—other than the Marauders—told him that before? Girls didn't tell him that, that was for sure. They told him they loved him, they fawned over him, they cried when he lost interest—but they had never _trusted_ him.

But what did Bellatrix have to do with anything?

_I trust you_.

Who cared about Peter? Really, if he didn't have the nerve to fight for what he wanted, then he deserved to have it taken away. Sirius ignored the small pang in his abdomen.

_I trust you_.

Now he was getting somewhere.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I also own the color yellow. Yeah.

A/N: What's this? _Two_ updates in such a short period of time? Well, I know I said this next update would be longer, but this sort of a 'bridge' chapter. The next one, I promise will be loads longer. And this chapter has some...well you'll see! Review!

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_Well I know that you're in love with him cause I saw you dancing in the gym; you both kicked off your shoes, then I dig those rhythmic blues. –Don McLean _

Bellatrix Black—well, Lestrange, technically, but really, Black was just such a _perfect_ surname for her that she hated giving it up—was not an impatient woman. She was, in fact, quite patient, especially when it came to things such as the Dark Lord's latest _genius_ plan—weren't all of his plans simply genius?—but she wanted something to bloody _happen_. She was a doer, and this sitting around waiting on her arse would infuriate a saint.

And a saint she was not.

Could Regulus really be trusted to execute a plan so complicated and detailed? The Dark Lord, in his infinite wisdom, thought so, but Bellatrix—though she would never admit to it—had her doubts. She _knew_ Regulus. He had hero-worshipped Sirius, and she was not fool enough to believe that he had simply _grown out _of it. Old habits die hard, and Regulus—well, Regulus, she knew, was dreaming of the day Sirius would simply come to realize the error of his ways. Bellatrix snorted to herself and took a long sip of her dark red wine. She was not such a fool—that disgusting Muggle-lover didn't deserve the Black name and good riddance to him.

Muggle-lover. The phrase rolled around bitterly in her mouth and her mind wandered to Regulus' last letter. He had a mentioned that his traitor of a brother seemed interested in a Mudblood—_her name is Emmeline, cousin Bella, Emmeline Vance. Would that be considered useful information to the Dark Lord?_

Bellatrix stared down into her wine, her own reflection meeting her eyes. She smiled a smile that didn't reach her dark eyes and finished off the glass.

----------------------

_I trust you_.

There was a new spring in Sirius Black's step, a new glitter in his eyes, and it was the subject of the numerous Hogwarts rumor mills.

"I heard—"

"—new girl, shagged last night—"

"—_damn_ he looks _incredible_!"

_I trust you_. He was floating above the whispers.

"What's wrong with you?" James demanded when Sirius sat down at the breakfast table.

"Nothing." Sirius reached for a scone. "I'm—"

"Save it," James interrupted. "We have an emergency situation, boys."

Peter leaned in excitedly and Remus looked incredulous. "Emergency situation?" he repeated suspiciously.

James nodded gravely. "Emergency. I have to find a way to woo my lady." He placed his hand over his heart and waved his other hand dramatically. Sirius rolled his eyes but grinned in spite of himself. _I trust you_.

"Did you get Emmeline's blessing?" Remus asked, not really caring about the answer. Something was different about Sirius; he kept sending odd little glances at Emmeline Vance and it made Remus uneasy.

"Yeah. Won her over with my _sparkling_ charm."

Sirius snorted. "I'll bet."

James ignored him. "I have the best friend's approval, so now all I have left to do is—"

"Convince the girl herself?" Remus suggested.

"Exactly. This is your assignment, men: how do I do that?"

--------------

Regulus Black wanted to vomit into his juice. Sirius was _beaming_. Blacks did not _beam_.

He would bet his wand this had something to do with that—that _girl_. That _Mudblood_ girl. His hand tightened around his goblet.

Regulus was a firm believer that Sirius would eventually see the error of his ways and realize that the family was right—Muggleborns _were_ inferior and Sirius, Regulus knew, would come around. But if a pretty blonde Mudblood girl distracted him—well, that would make it that much longer before Regulus had his brother back.

He had told Bella about this girl—this hindrance to getting his brother back—in the hopes that she could do something about it. Bella was one of the Dark Lord's confidants; she would be the one to be able to get something done.

Something caught the corner of Regulus' eye—light blonde hair being shoved gracelessly out of a pretty face—and he narrowed his eyes at Emmeline Vance. Her blue eyes met his and she smiled a little tentatively, sweetly. He scowled at her, determined to wipe the smile off of her face. Her chin went up and her smile became diamond-like, hard and bright. She had nerves of steel, he had to admit. He was impressed despite himself and he looked away first.

Bella had a plan, he reminded himself as he poked at his egg. They had a plan and Emmeline Vance would not smile at him again. She wouldn't smile at anyone, least of all his brother.

And Sirius would move back in.

Bella had a plan.

He looked up and was surprised that Emmeline Vance was studying him as though he was a puzzle she was determined to solve. She blinked when he met her eyes again. His upper lip curled in disgust and he hoped she could see how much she revolted him, how much the thought of Sirius throwing away his bloody _family_ away for her made him want to vomit.

He felt a flare of triumph when she looked away first.

----------------

"Why is Regulus Black staring at you like that, Em?"

"Like what?"

"Like he knows something you don't. Something horrible," Lily said, shuddering.

"No clue, Evans." _Liar_. Regulus had seen her with his brother's tongue down her throat. No doubt he probably thought she had lured Sirius permanently away from the Blacks with her feminine wiles. _Feminine wiles_. Emmeline would have snickered if she hadn't seen the deathly serious look in Regulus Black's eyes. Bloke meant business. Her hand slid into her robes and tightened on her wand.

"What a creeper," Marlene mumbled, narrowing her eyes at him. "Watch out for him, Em. I think he has it out for you."

"Wouldn't doubt it," Emmeline agreed, the hair on her arms standing on end. She could still feel his eyes on her and she wanted to march over to him and slap him out of it. Literally _slap_ him out of it.

"If he doesn't stop soon, I'm getting Sirius," Lily said, scooting slightly closer to Emmeline.

Emmeline straightened at Sirius' name. "It's fine, Lily. Look—he's stopped. It's fine."

"Creeper," Marlene repeated darkly. "Don't go into any dark corners alone, Em."

"I never do," Emmeline said, her tone forced cheery. _I only ever go into dark corners with Sirius Black_. Her face turned bright red at the thought and she ducked behind her goblet to hide it. Why did her brain betray her so frequently?

She abruptly changed the subject. "James Potter hunted me down last night, Evans," she announced, lightly shoving Lily's shoulder. "Wanted to talk about—wait for it, you'll be shocked—_you_."

"What about me?"

"About how he's been—prepare to be shocked again—in love with since third year."

"He doesn't mean that," Lily said flatly. Emmeline exchanged a look with Marlene, who shook her head exasperatedly and looked down into her breakfast.

"I think he does," Emmeline said, watching Lily carefully. "You didn't hear him, Lily. He seemed fairly sincere to me."

"And Vance here is an _excellent_ judge of character," Marlene added. There was something acidic in her tone that made Emmeline frown, but right now was not the time to call her out on it.

"He went to Hogsmeade with that girl!" Lily argued, putting down her fork. "Explain that away!"

"He didn't go," Emmeline corrected her. "He broke it off at the last minute to come tell _me_ how in love he is with _you_."

"Doesn't mean anything," Lily protested weakly.

"Means quite a lot, actually," Emmeline said. "Means he cares enough about you to want _my_ approval before he makes a move. Also means that as I've given my oft-coveted blessing the move will be made soon enough."

Lily sat up straight. "What's that even _mean_?"

Marlene snorted. "Means he'll corner you in a stairwell and snog your brains out."

Emmeline winced inwardly at the sharpness of Marlene's tone. What was her _problem_ today?

Lily looked slightly taken aback and glanced at Emmeline—she was surprised at Marlene too.

"Are you alright, Marlene?" Lily asked gently.

"I'm fine. I just have to go—somewhere." Marlene stood and left the Great Hall as though there was a stampede behind her.

"What's with her?" Lily asked Emmeline, who shrugged.

"No bleeding idea," she said frankly, stirring her pumpkin juice absently.

-----------------

"Sirius," Remus grabbed Sirius' arm and pulled him aside as everyone filed out of the Great Hall and into their first class. "What's going on with you?"

Sirius arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, right now, I'm walking to class. I'll probably sleep in said class—"

"Don't be a smart arse. You're acting—_happy._"

"I'm a happy person."

Remus stared at him and Sirius smirked. "I'm just in a good mood, Moony. Enjoy it while it lasts."

"Does this have anything to do with Emmeline Vance?"

Sirius stopped. "You psychic, Moony?"

"No. You're obvious. You're going to end up breaking Peter's heart, you know."

"It had to happen sometime," Sirius defended, even as guilt flooded his system.

"Maybe not."

"You can't honestly believe Vance would fancy him _back_ do you?"

Remus was silent.

"You _do_?"

"Not now. Not after whatever it is you're doing with her—"

"I haven't done _anything_ with her!"

Remus stared at him.

"Nothing like what you're thinking!"

"Does she know about Marlene McKinnon?"

Sirius stopped. "What about Marlene McKinnon?" he asked carefully.

Remus sighed and rubbed his temples in exasperation. "Does she know that you've already shagged one of her best friends?"

"How do _you_ know about that?"

"Does it matter?" At Sirius's glare, he sighed. "Peter may have let something slip. Does she know about it?"

"_No one_ knows about that," Sirius snapped. He made a mental note to strangle Wormtail later.

"If she finds out—"

"She won't find out."

"I hope you know what you're doing," Remus warned.

Sirius hoped so too.

-----------------

"Marlene!"

Marlene McKinnon pretended not to hear Emmeline Vance yell her name into their dorm room. She shut her eyes tightly, hoping Em would think she was just asleep and _leave_.

"Marlene McKinnon, I know you're not sleeping, so you better get your arse up and _talk_ to me!"

Damn. Marlene sat up. "What do you _want_, Vance?"

"What is your _problem_ today?"

"As opposed to every other day?"

"Marlene!"

Marlene sighed. "Emmeline, whatever you want to talk about, I don't."

"Too bad. Why are you so damn _grouchy_ today?"

Silence. Marlene had recently discovered her mother's technique of counting slowly to ten to control her temper. _One. Inhale. Two. Exhale. _

"Marlene?"

_Three. Inhale. _

"Fine. Don't tell me," Emmeline huffed, crossing her arms and glaring. _Four. Exhale._ There was a pause and then the sound of the door opening and exasperated footsteps echoing down the staircase leading to the dorm.

Marlene collapsed back down into her comforter and stared up at the ceiling. What now, she wondered, twirling a strand of dark hair around her finger. To tell or to stay silent? She imagined how the conversation would go—_I was drunk and he was there_—and laughed humorlessly.

This—_thing_ between Emmeline and Sirius would blow over. It had to.

-----------------

When Lily Evans walked into the perfects' meeting, she was shocked that James Potter had not only beaten her there, but that he had clearly been there for long time—he was relaxing against a wall, talking amiably with Remus Lupin. When he saw her, she immediately looked away and dropped her bag in a corner.

She expected some sort of jab at being late, but as she sat next to James, he simply nodded at her and called over the low buzz of talking voices, "Shut it! We're starting!"

The prefects stopped talking almost at once, and, she noted, much faster than they ever did for her.

James held up a sheet of paper and tossed it onto the nearest table. "New patrolling schedule," he announced. "Couple of minor changes, nothing big." Lily tuned him out as she picked up the new schedule and scanned it for her name.

She wasn't paired with him. James Potter had tweaked the patrolling schedule and hadn't paired himself with her. Remus Lupin's name was scrawled next to her own.

Her stomach sank into her shoes and she bit her lip. Hadn't Emmeline said he _was_ interested? What was he bloody _doing_?

"…and that's it for today," she heard James finish. Then, much closer to her ear, "You alright, Evans?"

She blinked and looked up into hazel eyes. "Yeah," she replied faintly. "I'm fine." She stood and went to retrieve her bag from its spot near the door.

"It's just—" she found herself saying before realizing what she was doing and shutting her mouth.

"Just what?"

She swallowed. Might as well dive in headfirst. "Emmeline told me about your conversation."

His expression didn't change. "Our conversation?"

"About…" she hesitated. "Never mind." Losing all of her nerve, she turned to leave.

"Are you talking about the conversation where I told Emmeline I'd been in love with you since third year?" he asked casually, mussing his hair.

She turned bright red. "You don't have to—"

"I wasn't lying."

Lily turned even redder and stayed silent. He shrugged. "You just never seemed all that interested."

What was she supposed to say? _I wasn't but then you were different?_

"I wasn't," she affirmed quietly.

"Wasn't," he repeated, walking over to her. "Past tense?"

"Past tense."

"As in, you are now?"

Lily chewed on her lip. "I wouldn't go that far."

He laughed a little. "Yes, you would."

How had he gotten so close in so little time? She looked up at him and said, "What did Emmeline say to you?"

James grinned down at her. "She said you're interested."

Lily was making a mental note to curse Emmeline as soon as she saw her but she never finished the thought due to James' very distracting mouth covering hers.

He seemed almost unsure of himself, or maybe unsure of her reaction, but as it became apparent that she was going to neither pull away nor hit him, his arms slid around her and pulled her closer.

Through her fuzzy brain, she thought vaguely that he must have had loads of practice with this—he was too bloody _good_ and had too many girls staring longingly at him.

And then she couldn't think anymore because his tongue was in her mouth and she'd never really been kissed like this because James Potter knew what he was bloody doing. She could barely breathe, could barely stand, thank Merlin for his arms around her or she would have collapsed by now. All these years and she had been refusing _this_?

He pulled away slightly and murmured, "Are you alright, Lily?"

Lily.

"Yeah," she breathed before pulling his face back down towards hers.

-------------

"How do we tell her, Albus?"

Dumbledore shook his head, his bright blue eyes gazing off into nothing. "We just...tell her."

Minerva McGonagall blinked back tears and sighed. "She's in my House. I'll inform her immediately."

Dumbledore took off his half-moon glasses and stared at his desk. "Minerva. Don't tell her everything."

McGonagall frowned. "What _should_ I tell her, Albus?"

"Only what is necessary."

--------------

Lily very nearly skipped back to her dorm room; she felt as though she were walking on clouds.

"Emmeline Vance, have I got something to tell you," she sang out as she opened the door to the room. Her smile dropped off her face.

Emmeline was sitting in the middle of her bed, cross-legged, with tear tracks streaking down her face. Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself as though she was freezing and she was rocking back and forth in a daze.

"Em," Lily said, crossing the room in three wide steps and putting her arms around Emmeline, "What _happened_?"

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A/N: I think that's a good place to leave that. Review and I won't leave you in suspense too long! 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Wow this probably the shortest chapter I've written to date, but it's an update, right? More should be on the way because of that miracle known as Christmas break. Reviews greatly appreciated, and I promise I'll respond to these!

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Chapter Eleven

_I will never let you fall; I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends me to Heaven—it's okay. –Red Jumpsuit Apparatus_

"How's she been holding up?" Remus asked Lily softly, sitting next to her and taking her hand.

Lily shook her head. "How's she supposed to have be holding up?" she asked numbly. "It's been two weeks but her m-mum's still dead and her d-d-dad's…" she choked on her own words and James tightened his arm around her and shook his head at Remus.

Peter was pacing back and forth in front of the common room sofa, seemingly stunned into a loss for words, his eyes blank and glazed. Sirius was sitting on the sofa opposite of Lily, James and Remus, his face unreadable, staring into the fire.

"It's been difficult for her and that won't change," Remus said quietly.

"But we're all here for her," James added upon seeing the heartbroken look on Lily's face.

Sirius looked over at them and Lily saw something shift in his face. And then he was striding over to the portrait hole with long purposeful steps and she knew what he was doing.

Shrugging James' arm off of her and sliding her hand out of Remus', Lily cut Sirius off before he reached the portrait hole.

"Sirius, whatever you're thinking about doing," she said softly, "don't. She needs space. She needs to be alone."

"To hell with that," he said bluntly, going around her to leave.

"Sirius," she repeated, catching his arm and pulling back gently. She felt him pause, felt his muscle tighten against her grip and then he had pulled away and was gone.

Lily exhaled shakily and buried her face in her hands.

---------------

The stars winked down at Emmeline from her seat on the Astronomy tower window ledge. She wasn't crying—she had stopped having the energy for tears at some point yesterday—but the pain had manifested itself in other ways, like her distinct lack of appetite and the dark circles under her eyes. Lily was worried about her, she could tell—but most of the food she ate forced its way back up and she'd rather avoid eating altogether than spend her nights hunched over a lavatory seat.

The image of her father's blank, staring eyes stirred in her memory and she gripped the edge of the windowsill to keep from blanching. She wished she could cry, scream, or even _feel_—but her mum was dead and her dad was shut up in St. Mungo's, unable to recognize his only child and it was all she could do to keep on _breathing_.

She had only ever attended two funerals in her life. The first had been her Pappy's funeral when she was seven and she had cried for days because she hadn't understood why she was never going to see him again. Her mother had told her that God loved Pappy so much that He wanted him in Heaven. Her seven-year-old brain could, if begrudgingly, accept that.

Her mother's funeral had been a week and a half ago.

Her house had been demolished. Death Eater attack, McGonagall had said and Emmeline's brain had shut off after that. Gone. Everything was just gone. Her room, with all its memories. Her entire bloody _house_.

Her mother.

And her dad—he was worse than dead. The Cruciatus Curse, McGonagall had told her. They didn't know who had cast it. He was in St. Mungo's now; he didn't know who she was.

The door to the tower creaked open and her eyes slowly shifted over; she could barely drum up enough energy to be worried—after all, it was after curfew and if she were caught up here by anyone other than Lily or James, it would mean points from Gryffindor.

But it was Sirius Black, and even in her numbed state, she was slightly surprised at just how _attractive_ the boy was; the dim light from the moon outside seemed to hone in fondly on his features. But there was no jump in her pulse—she was a detached observer, stating an obvious fact.

"What're you doing up here?" he asked, crossing the threshold and going over to lean on the wall next to the windowsill.

"Sitting," she said flatly, turning her head to look up at the sky again. Her dad had loved looking at the stars; maybe that was why she loved Astronomy so much—it had been ingrained in her since she was a little girl, holding her father's hand and giggling at the funny shapes he traced in the black sky. And now, she thought dully, he was sitting in a hospital ward, unable to even feed himself.

Sirius seemed to brush off her toneless retort and said quietly, "You need to sleep, Emmeline."

If she'd had the energy she would have been shocked; he never called her Emmeline. The sound of it made the hair on the back of her neck prickle and her spine tingle simultaneously, as though her body couldn't decide whether or not to approve.

"This isn't healthy," he continued, and he took her hand in his larger, firmer one; she felt a jolt of warmth shoot up her arm. "Come on, Em."

Em. He had called her Em. Her friends were the only ones who ever called her Em, not arrogant boys she had secretly snogged in hallways. She swung her legs off the windowsill and said with as much force as she could muster—which was not much—as she sat with her legs dangling, "Don't call me that."

If he was surprised at her demand, he didn't show it. "It's your name, isn't it?"

"You've never called me that before."

"Maybe it's time I started."

"Maybe it's not." If he started calling her by her given name, that would mean things between them had changed, that everything was different. Her name in his mouth meant that her mum was dead and her dad was—worse than dead.

"Emmeline—"

"Don't call me that," she repeated, standing and facing him; her eyes were glittering. "It's not like you."

His face tightened almost imperceptibly. "Emmeline."

"Stop!" she snapped, and she was surprised at how his utter refusal to adhere to her request elicited such a strong reaction from her; Lily had barely gotten half as much emotion from her, and she had worked much harder than Sirius was doing now.

Something dark passed over his eyes. "You need to sleep."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not," he said firmly, his hand closing over her wrist and pulling her towards him, towards the door. "You haven't been sleeping, or eating and God knows you look like _hell_. For once in your damned life, Emmeline, _listen_ to me!"

There was her name again, her name in his mouth. She jerked her wrist out of his grip and said, with more emotion than she had felt in days, "I've _told_ you, _don't_ call me that! It's not—" she drew in a ragged breath and hot tears sprang to her eyes. After everything,_this_ was what set her off? She would have laughed at her own foolishness if she'd had room in the overwhelming grief that had gripped her.

And then she was crying, and his arms were around her; he was her tether to reality, his voice in her ear keeping her sane. The tears came furiously, as though they had been building and building since her mum's funeral, waiting to break through her walls and fall down her face. The only real thing in the world was Sirius Black's arms tight around her.

She was fairly certain, even in her haze of pain, that he didn't know exactly what to do with her. This was most unlike the time in the common room—which seemed as though it had been years and years ago, instead of only two months—because then her pain had not been her own, not really. Then, her pain had been a part of Dorcas', a sympathy pain. She had hurt because her friend had hurt.

Sirius' hands moved up and down her back in slow, comforting strokes; he gently pulled her down so that they were sitting on the floor, his back on the tower wall, her very nearly sitting in his lap. His hands never once broke their rhythm.

After a few minutes, the wave of pain broke, leaving her with a pale and tear-stained face. Her fingers touched Sirius' shirt—she marveled at the softness, surely it was worth more than her entire wardrobe—and she mumbled, "Sorry," and motioned at the dark spot where her tears had fallen from her face and onto the fabric.

He shrugged and let go of her; she ran a shaky hand through her tangled hair and pulled away from him, settling back against the stone of the Astronomy tower. Sirius leaned back against the wall and for a long time, they just sat there. Emmeline's eyes lost their focus and her muscles relaxed for the first time in a long time; she focused on the sound of Sirius' breathing.

Sleep, that long-forgotten friend, tugged at her eyes and her lids began to feel heavy. Her head tilted and she said softly, "I'm better now."

A solid arm was around her shoulders and her eyes were already closed when her head dropped onto Sirius' shoulder.

-----------

"You look better," Dorcas commented to Emmeline, who shrugged and took a bite of grapefruit. "What happened?"

Emmeline shrugged again. Something about telling anyone about the Astronomy tower felt too invasive, too personal. She wanted to protect those moments because they were hers—hers and Sirius's.

Marlene was watching Emmeline finish the rest of the grapefruit with sharp eyes. She did look better—more color in her face, more life in her eyes—but her hair wasn't brushed and there were still dark stains under her eyes.

Lily rubbed Emmeline's arm. "Whatever happened, I'm glad." At this, Marlene shook her head and abruptly left the table. Emmeline's eyes narrowed.

"I'll be right back," she told Dorcas and Lily. Dorcas' eyebrows had gone up and Lily looked confused.

"Marlene?" Emmeline called after her, following her into the hallway outside of the Great Hall.

Marlene stopped and turned. "What?"

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Em. Let it go." Marlene began to walk away but before she could, Emmeline had rounded in front of her.

"Whatever it is," she said quietly, "can't make this any worse. You're one of my best mates, Marlene. What is it?"

Marlene stared at her, at the clear blue eyes that were searching her face, the disheveled blonde hair, the fading summer tan, the teeth gnawing on her lower lip—and it spilled out of her.

"I slept with Sirius." Emmeline's eyes widened and Marlene rushed on, "It was a _long_ time ago and we were both . . . drunk and it didn't mean anything. But I didn't want to tell you because I think you might really fancy him and I didn't want to ruin anything for you."

There was silence.

"I'm sorry, Em," Marlene said softly, touching Emmeline's arm. "I really am. Loads of regret." She dropped her hand and continued on her way back to the dorm, leaving Emmeline swaying slightly in the hallway.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: I sort of improvised with Exploding Snap because I don't really know what it is. So let's just assume it involves dice.

* * *

Chapter Twelve 

_But break, my heart, for I must hold my tongue. –William Shakespeare _

She was fading. No one saw it, but Emmeline knew—she felt it. She was blurring around the edges, losing color, ripping at the seams. Or possibly just going crazy. That was always a possibility, these days.

She hadn't spoken to Sirius in over two week, since Marlene's—_confession_. The word felt sour in her head. Nor, Emmeline reflected, had she spoken to Marlene. But she'd been busy, busy trying to forget that it was nearly December and then it would be Christmas and then where was she supposed to go? She was homeless, literally without a home, and these were the thoughts that plagued her sleep. Not that she was getting much sleep anyway, but she couldn't help but try—unsuccessfully—to push all thoughts of Marlene and Sirius out of her head. There was too much being held up there, but somehow, the things that shouldn't matter as much ended up floating to the top of her thoughts.

Emmeline studied her reflection, chewing on her lip. _Fading. Right. _Everything appeared normal. Her blonde hair still hung long down her back, tangled but clean, and her eyes were the same they had always been. Nothing looked different. But it all felt different.

Well, she reflected wryly. That meant two things: she was still very much of the solid persuasion and she was very possibly losing her mind. She twirled a thick strand of hair around her index finger, blank eyes locked on her own reflection.

Her parents were gone. In different ways, yes, but one was just as gone as the other. And Sirius—well, that was done. Whatever _that_ had been. One pain on top of another and she was starting to wonder when God was going to give her a break. _I was drunk and he was there._ Not an apology, and, for Emmeline, not an excuse.

"Well, are you going to stand there all day, staring at yourself?" the mirror snapped, sounding annoyed.

Well, was she? Emmeline shook her head, snapping out of her reverie. "No," she said flatly. "I'm going to do something." Then, for what it was worth, she made a face at herself in the mirror and walked out, eyes determined and jaw set.

"That's how you'll steal all the boys' hearts, then?" the mirror called out sarcastically behind her.

------------

Peter Pettigrew chewed on his quill nervously, a worn Transfiguration book open on his lap in the common room. It was James's book and there were a lot of scribbled notes in the margin, and Peter, trying desperately to teach himself the previous lesson, found these notes to be a complete distraction.

He jabbed his wand at the pillow he was supposed to be turning into a cat and when nothing happened, he snapped out several of Sirius's favorite and thereby most colorful curses.

"Wow, Pete, didn't know you had it in you," Marlene McKinnon joked, sliding into the couch across from him. "Where'd you learn those?"

He had never really liked Marlene McKinnon all that much, but she was friends with his friends, so he saw her quite often—but still.

"Sirius," he finally answered, looking down at his book.

"Ah, of course," she said softly, and he felt her watching him intently. "The devil of you four. Speaking of Sirius, you wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

"Why?" Peter asked carefully. He wasn't stupid—he knew Marlene was a former—er,_flame_ of Sirius's. And even though it had been a while ago, who know what sort of. . ._vengeance _ she in mind?

"I need to talk to him," she said vaguely. "It's important, Peter."

"I have to do Transfiguration," he told her stubbornly.

"Peter!" she snapped exasperatedly. "I don't think you understand—"

"Then explain it to me."

"It's none of your business!"

Peter shrugged and picked up his wand, concentrating and poking at the pillow.

Marlene stared at him in frustration and disgust. "Great, Pete," she snapped, getting up and storming out.

The tips of his ears burned bright red.

Not ten minutes later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He groaned inwardly—was he ever going to learn how to do this?

"Hey Peter," Emmeline Vance said quietly. "Can I ask you something?"

His pulse started speeding up. "Sure," he said quickly.

"Do you know where Sirius is?"

Sirius? His heart slipped down into his stomach. "Oh. Uh, he's in the library, I think."

"Thanks." She squeezed his shoulder and his color heightened. "See you later, Peter."

"Bye," he said miserably.

------------

"Bloody girl's been avoiding me for _two_ weeks," Sirius snapped, his dark eyes flashing. "No bloody _idea_ what I've done!"

"Space," James said, nodding sagely. "She needs space, not snogging, and Vance is smart enough to know you'll give her the second but not the first."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well," he grumbled, unable to argue the validity of this statement.

"You have to give her up," James added, keeping his eyes on the parchment in front of him. "You know that, right, mate?"

When there was only silence, James looked up. Sirius's brow had furrowed and his eyes were accusing.

"We talked about this," James said before Sirius could open his mouth.

"Because bleeding Wormtail's happiness is more important than mine?" Sirius demanded angrily.

"Because he loves her," James corrected him lowly. "He _loves_ her, Padfoot, and you—you're just snogging her."

"What if I'm not just _snogging_ her?" Sirius bit off and James started.

"Unless you love her like Wormtail loves her…"

Sirius glared at him. "Look, Prongs, it's not just bloody snogging. Not sure on the rest."

Well, wouldn't that just change the whole game, James thought tiredly. Leave it to Sirius to turn the tables on everyone. Sighing, he leaned back in his chair—and then saw Emmeline walk into the library, eyes searching.

"You might want to figure the rest out, and soon," James recommended. "Because Vance just walked in."

--------------

"Lily," Marlene interrupted the scratching of Lily's quill. "Have you seen Sirius?"

"No," Lily said coldly.

Marlene stiffened at her tone. "You're angry with me."

"Brilliant observation."

"Because of what I told Emmeline."

"Your second brilliant observation. You're on a roll."

"It has nothing to do with you."

Lily slapped her quill down on the desk with a loud thud and stood up so that she was staring directly into Marlene's eyes. "Don't make this about me!" she snapped. "Emmeline's going through the worst trial of her damn _life_ and you just—poured salt in a wound!"

"I didn't—"

"Oh, maybe you didn't mean to," Lily cut her off, seeing a blush rise in Marlene's face, "but you did! Whatever Sirius was to Emmeline, he was helping her! He was bloody _good _for her! And then you go and rip the rug right out from under her feet—and she was just starting to stand up again, Marlene! _Why_ would you do that? She's your_friend_!"

Marlene's mouth opened and no sound came out. Lily saw tears rise in her eyes and Marlene clapped her hand to her mouth. "Oh, God," Marlene whispered.

A tiny bit of sympathy nudged Lily's heart, but she simply shook her head and, after rolling up her parchment and gathering her things, left without a look back.

-------------

"Does she look pissed off?" Sirius asked James, who craned his neck to stare at Emmeline Vance without being seen, especially by Emmeline Vance.

"No," James said, "just….determined."

"That's not helpful, Prongs."

"Well—oh damn, she's spotted me."

"This is why Lily Evans rejected you for four years, Prongs," Sirius snapped, shaking his head.

"Yeah but you're forgetting I got the girl—hey, Em, how are you?"

"Fine," she said and her tone was perfectly polite—and emotionless. "I need to talk to Sirius."

James's eyebrows shot up. "Well then," he said charmingly, "I would suggest taking it out of the library, because Pince doesn't need another reason to hate us."

Sirius rolled his eyes and stood up to follow Emmeline out of the library. He pointed a finger at James before turning around.

She walked into an empty staircase and felt the beginning of unexplainable laughter bubble in her—they really were made for dark corners and abandoned halls. She really was going crazy.

He didn't wait for her to turn around or to say anything; he moved himself in front of her and was pushing her hair back from her face with both of his hands. "How are you?" he asked and his voice was so damn _sweet_ her resolve almost shattered.

"I'm fine," she lied and winced inwardly when her voice shook slightly. She wrapped her hands around his and them off of her face. "I need to ask you something."

His expression vanished and his eyes became unreadable. "Ask away."

She didn't notice she was still holding onto his hands. "Did you—" she hesitated, and her resolve wavered again. _Why _was this so hard?

"Did I what?" he prompted, his eyes intent on her face.

She inhaled a deep gulp of shaky breath. _Get a grip, Vance_. She set her jaw and focused her gaze on the wall directly over Sirius's shoulder. "Did you sleep with Marlene?"

He didn't blink, didn't take his eyes off of her. "Yes."

Her eyes snapped to his. "You did."

"I did."

At least he was being honest. For _once_. "When?"

"Fifth year. A damned long time ago, Emmeline."

"You—why didn't you tell me?" She visibly winced when her voice cracked.

Was that—was that_ anger_ in his eyes? _He_ was angry with _her_? "You want a list?"

_Ouch_. "Just tell me one thing," she snapped, some anger of her own beginning to boil hotly in her stomach, "This list—does it have every girl's name on it, so you can check them off as you _whore_ your way through Hogwarts and—"

"I would _not_ recommend finishing that sentence," he said dangerously. Her mouth snapped shut.

They were a hair's width apart, eyes flashing and glaring at the other.

"Marlene was a long time ago," he repeated, obviously struggling with that infamous Black temper. "A long time before you. She shouldn't have told you."

Her blood roared in her ears. "No," Emmeline agreed bitterly. "_You_ should have." With one last look of disgust over her shoulder, she left him alone in the stairwell.

------------

"Did you ever think_ we'd_ be the happy ones?" Lily asked James, her voice light with teasing. His arm was around her and she was holding his hand. "Because I never did."

He grinned at her. "It seems I have more confidence in my skills than you, Evans."

"That's because you're the _only_ one with confidence in your skills," she retorted.

James laughed. "The fact that you're here completely disproves your theory." He gave her a short kiss, the bump of his mouth against hers.

Before she could complain, he said casually, "Christmas is coming soon."

"Mmmhmm."

"Any idea on what you want?"

"You don't have to—"

"That's the point of a _gift_, Evans. Accept it. Think about what you want and get back to me."

"I don't want you to get me—oh bloody hell."

"What?" He was instantly on the alert, drawn up to his full height and looking around.

"Christmas. Em and Dorcas. What're they going to do?"

He relaxed. "Well Dorcas has an apartment, yeah? Emmeline'll probably stay there."

Lily was shaking her head before his mouth was shut. "No, they can't be two—they can't be alone on Christmas, James."

"They won't be," he protested. "They'll have each other."

"Two people in the worst pain of their lives so far, celebrating Christmas together?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "I think _I'd_ off myself and my life's relatively painless."

The lady had a point.

-----------

She'd been summoned to Dumbledore's office. Emmeline swallowed. What could it be now? Her grandparents in America, or her cousins in Australia? She mentally ticked off all the possible targets and felt bile rise in her throat.

Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, his blue eyes twinkling at her kindly. "Miss Vance," he said, "let me assure you that while the reason I summoned you here is not pleasant, it is not for the reasons currently occupying your mind."

_Oh thank God_. Her bones seemed to melt and she fairly collapsed into the chair in front of Dumbledore's desk. "Thank you," she managed to croak out.

"Of course. Butterbeer?" He handed her a goblet and she accepted, the butterbeer warming her insides.

He leaned forward. "Unfortunately, Miss Vance, the subject we must discuss is not an enjoyable one." He hesitated and she watched him over the rim of her cup.

"Much has come to light about the night your mother was murdered," he said gently. "I would like to tell you what I know, but if you aren't ready, I will completely understand."

Emmeline's blood seemed to be frozen in her veins. "My mum?" was all she was capable of forcing out. Dumbledore nodded kindly.

She'd like to know, she thought, her hands clenched into fists inside her robes. Put a name—maybe even a face—to the bastards.

"Yes," she said and anger made her voice steady. "Tell me everything."

----------

Regulus Black's ears pricked at the sound of familiar—and unwelcome—voices began to echo near the entrance to the Slytherin common room. He strained his ears to identify them.

"…bloody messy," a male voice said quietly. "She should have finished him off."

"I disagree with you, Severus—" Snape? Who the bloody hell was he talking to? "—the Dark Lord is most pleased with Bellatrix."

"The Dark Lord—and I say this with the utmost respect, Lucius—" Lucius _Malfoy_? Regulus started. What in the bloody hell was he doing here? "—the Dark Lord adores violence. Vance's affliction is most amusing to him, I suspect. I however, prefer neat and tidy. And this may have…unforeseen consequences."

"Explain yourself, Severus."

"You see, Lucius, it is my thinking that now Bella may have instilled a more…er,_bloodthirsty_ desire for revenge in the Mudblood."

"The Dark Lord is hardly afraid of one—"

"I am sure that the Dark Lord is perfectly able to handle the vengeance of one seventeen year old girl," Snape interrupted him. "And Bella as well. But as this girl can't reach the Dark Lord, or Bellatrix…"

Lucius caught his meaning. "You think she may target Regulus?"

Regulus scoffed to himself. _He_ was hardly afraid of one Mudblood whore.

Snape was quiet. "She's not…stupid," he said carefully. "She could…ruin everything, Lucius." He lowered his voice. "She could discover the Dark Lord's plan."

"Your point?"

"My point? My point, _Lucius_, is that Bella instilled in this girl an acute desire for _revenge_! Her father sits in St. Mungo's, a shell of a man, and this girl, by being dismissed as nothing more than a_ Mudblood_, could destroy us! And you know that any misstep, any_ mistake_ and it's _our_ bloody heads!"

Regulus heard Lucius give a disgruntled sigh. "Very well, Severus, since this…potential flaw has you so concerned, I will pass this along to the Dark Lord."

"That is all I ask, Lucius."

The sound of footsteps nearing the door sent Regulus into a silent scramble towards his dorm room. Positive that Snape hadn't seen or heard him, he lay on top of his covers.

Snape thought Emmeline Vance could figure everything out? Something tightened deep in his stomach.

He had thought Bella would only kill them. He had severely underestimated his cousin's bloodlust, and he, like Snape, would have preferred a neat tidying of strings.

What did Snape mean by "a shell of a man"? Regulus sat up and frowned at his desk, where Bellatrix's most recent letter lay unopened. Apprehensively he stood and retrieved the letter.

And as his eyes slipped over the last few elegantly curled words, he felt his stomach roll in disgust. Regulus ran for the lavatory.

-----------

Damn girl. Sirius took a long gulp of firewhiskey and glared at the floor.

Really, it wasn't his bloody _fault_. He had been bloody _single_ when he shagged Marlene McKinnon—hell, they _both_ had been single! He hadn't had a shred of interest in Emmeline Vance at the time, so why was she so bloody upset about it? He tipped the bottle back and drank the last swallow.

The portrait hole swung open and of _bloody_ course it would be the damned _girl_. Sirius shook his head and pointed his wand at the bottle of firewhiskey so that it was filled to the top.

Emmeline mentally cursed when she saw him. She had thought she would be getting back late enough—it was nearly two in the morning—that the common room would be abandoned. But it _would_ be Sirius Black sitting in front of the fire in the common room, after what Dumbledore had just finished telling her. And of course, he would be drinking, she thought acidly. When was he not drinking or flirting or snogging or shagging?

He didn't say anything, just tipped the glass bottle at her in a mock toast. Emmeline stomped on the impulse to give him her middle finger and settled for a cold glare. After all, she wasn't going to sink to his level.

"Well, fuck you too," she heard him snap as she started up the stairs.

Red danced across her vision and she whirled around.

"What the _hell_ did you say?" she hissed at him as she stormed over. He stood up and she bitterly noted that despite how drunk he _smelled_, he didn't sway or slur. Years of practice, it must've been, she decided disgustedly.

"Who said anything?" he asked breezily.

"I heard you, Black!"

"Back to last names, are we?" he drawled. "If you heard me, _Vance_, why do you need me to _repeat_ myself?"

"You're a bastard."

"False." He pointed his finger at her. "Although I'm sure my mother wishes it wasn't."

She grabbed his finger and shoved it away as hard as she could and was disgusted when he didn't even stumble. Weren't drunk people supposed to stumble?

"You're bloody repulsive," she said flatly, shaking her head.

"It was two years ago, Vance!" he snapped at her. "I'm not going to apologize for something that happened two years ago that had _nothing_ to do with you!"

"You could have _told_ me!"

"When? _When_ would you have had me tell you? In between secret snogging? Or when you were sobbing into my shirt?"

She went still and her fists clenched. "I hate you," she informed him quietly.

It was a repeat of the scene from the stairwell, only this time the words were harsher and Emmeline looked as though she was fighting a breakdown.

It was the defeat in her eyes, swirling there among the bitterness, that softened him. A small voice that sounded uncannily like Remus Lupin said in the back of his mind, _She just lost her parents. Give her a break._

He exhaled and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Why?" he asked finally, and there was no bite to his words. "Marlene was two years ago and it was nothing. If we had ever gotten serious, I would have told you."

She swallowed. "We wouldn't have gotten serious," she said, more ice in her voice than she felt. _You're such a liar, Em,_ she thought bitterly.

His eyes were terribly dark and they were staring at her through hooded lids. "I think we would have. I think we _will_," he said, quietly calling her bluff. "And so do you."

She blinked. He had said _will_, future tense. They had a future. And then the words were tumbling from her almost without her realization. "Dumbledore called me into his office today."

Sirius took the sudden change of subject in stride. His arms twitched, as though he was fighting the temptation to touch her. "And?"

Tears swirled in her eyes. "Bellatrix," she said simply. And then her knees wouldn't hold her up anymore.

Sirius' arms went out and took hold of her before she could literally hit the floor; and he slowly eased her down. He picked up the discarded bottle of firewhiskey and held it to her.

She stared at him and he shrugged. "It helps, sometimes."

Well, she had tried everything else. It tasted bloody _awful_ but warmed her stomach and stopped the tears that were threatening to fall down her face. Sirius took the bottle back before she managed to drain it.

"Easy," she heard him say, and he sounded almost amused as he positioned her in front of the fire with her back to him. He rested his chin on the top of her head.

"Bellatrix," he said gently. "Bellatrix what, Em?" No terms of endearment, just her name, and somehow the honesty warmed her.

Emmeline had to give Sirius credit—the firewhiskey had steadied her. "Bellatrix is responsible for my parents," she said softly, her eyes on the flames in the fireplace. "Responsible" because "killed" was too real, too intense, too terrible; she was only seventeen and life was supposed to be endless. She felt his muscles steel themselves and heard his sharp intake of breath before he let out a long, pained sigh.

"Blood doesn't mean anything, Vance," he said after a long silence.

"Sometimes it does," she said vaguely, her mind straying. His arms tightened around her and she realized he assumed she was talking about him.

"Regulus," she corrected him softly. Firewhiskey really was a miracle, she thought. She didn't feel anything at the little bastard's name, not a stir of her previous rage. "Regulus told Bellatrix who."

Sirius was silent.

"I'm sorry," he said and his voice broke. Then he was kissing her cheek. "So sorry, Em. So sorry…" and she turned in his arms because even though the firewhiskey had numbed her, its warmth in the pit of her stomach was gone. And she was so cold inside.

He was kissing her and she just wanted to feel—not broken. It didn't matter that they were on the floor of the common room, where anyone could walk in at anytime. Nothing mattered anymore. Her parents were dead and responsibility lay at his family's feet, so in the grand scheme of things, snogging the worst possible person didn't seem so terrible anymore.

--------------

How exactly, Marlene wondered as she brushed her teeth, was she supposed to apologize to one of her best friends for adding pain to an already terrible situation? Guilt squeezed in her stomach and she spat toothpaste into the sink before looking into the mirror and mumbling, "God help me."

"Talking to yourself again?" Dorcas asked cheerfully as she bopped into the washroom and checked her reflection.

Marlene grumbled at her.

"Oh cheer up," Dorcas said lightly. "You're much too gray today." She gave Marlene's cheeks a playful pinch.

"Why're you so happy?" Marlene wanted to know.

Dorcas shrugged. "I'm caught up on all the work I missed in the beginning of term, and there's a Quidditch match tomorrow." She gave Marlene a small smile. "Sometimes we have to be happy about the small things because they're all we have."

The urge to cry suddenly welled up in Marlene's throat as she watched Dorcas leave the dorm. An overwhelming shame latched itself into her nerves and she slowly followed Dorcas to the Great Hall.

-------------

"You look terrible," Lily commented to Emmeline, who rubbed her temples.

"Thanks, Evans," Emmeline grumbled, her head aching. "I didn't get a lot of sleep."

Lily's eyebrows went up. "I heard you come in around three in the morning, Em. Anything you'd like to share?"

"No," Emmeline said sourly, before one of Sirius's favorite words slipped out as she remembered. "Wait. Dumbledore called me to his office last night."

Alarmed, Lily leaned forward and laid her hand on Emmeline's arm. "Everything alright?"

Emmeline shook her head and tore into her toast. "No," she said flatly. "He told me…who did it."

Lily knew Emmeline well enough to follow her jumbled train of thought. "Who was it, Em?" she asked gently.

There were no tears in Emmeline's eyes, only hardness. "Bellatrix Black."

"She's going by Lestrange now," Sirius Black corrected her as he settled into the seat next to her. James Potter dropped next to Lily, kissing her cheek before eyeing the food on the table.

"Same person," Lily pointed out sensibly. "Where are Remus and Peter?"

James shrugged. "Hospital wing and who the hell knows."

"The hospital wing?" Emmeline and Lily said in alarmed unison.

"Needed some Pepper Up," Sirius said easily. "You know how it is." It was a good answer, vague with just enough credibility to be true. Lily narrowed her eyes thoughtfully at him before turning back to Emmeline.

"So what're you going to do? About Bellatrix?"

Feeling Sirius stiffen slightly beside her, Emmeline shrugged. "What can I do? She's out there and we're in here. Doesn't really work."

"We'll be getting out soon enough," James offered helpfully. He lowered his voice. "And hopefully the Ministry'll remember they had us sign our lives away a few weeks back and start bloody _training_ us."

"They've had a lot to deal with," Lily defended quietly, and as if summoned by her words, the morning owls dropped off copies of the _Prophet_ onto the tables.

Emmeline and Sirius grabbed for a copy at the same time, their hands brushing each other. Emmeline jerked back as though she had been burned; Sirius ignored her and snapped open the paper, promptly disappearing behind it.

"Hey guys," Peter Pettigrew said breathlessly as he hurried over to the table.

"Wormtail," James said jovially. "Where've you been all morning?"

Peter shrugged and cast a longing look at Emmeline, who was trying to read the paper over Sirius's shoulder. "Nowhere," he said unconvincingly before sitting down next to Emmeline, who barely glanced over her shoulder at him. Lily kicked her under the table and when Emmeline bit back a curse and glared at her, nodded at Peter.

Emmeline's eyes widened and she shook her head slightly. Lily rolled her eyes and stood up.

"I have to run to the library before class," she announced. James half stood but sat back down when she shook her head at him.

"That girl," James said dramatically as Lily hurried out of the Great Hall, "is_something_."

Sirius flipped the paper over and snorted. "Eloquent, Prongs."

Emmeline smiled a little and stared down into her juice. Life went on, like it had to, she supposed. And maybe that wasn't bad because after all, her mum and dad would want her to keep on going.

James reached over and took her juice away. Emmeline looked up at him, confused.

"No deep thoughts over breakfast," he advised with understanding in his eyes.

-------------

He had to tell someone, Regulus thought wildly. Anyone, anyone who would—what? Tell Emmeline? Or Sirius? There was no doubt on how the pair of them would react. Damn it, why did he have to be so bloody _stupid_? Of course Bella would consider this "taking care" of it! And he was still expected to go through with this horrible plan that Dumbledore probably knew about anyway! He gritted his teeth and paced.

And was promptly run into by a flurry of robes and red hair.

"Oh wonderful," he heard Lily Evans mumble to herself before pushing her hair out of her eyes and saying, "I'm so sorry, I wasn't looking—oh. Hello, Regulus."

Her tone had dropped in warmth and despite himself, Regulus shuddered. "Hello, Evans."

They stood awkwardly for a beat until Evans said uncertainly, "See you around, Regulus."

It was as she was walking away the epiphany struck Regulus right between his eyes. She was reasonable, and even-tempered. Head Girl. And she was one of Emmeline Vance's best mates…

"Oy! Evans!" he called after her. "Wait a tick, will you?"

-----------

Lily Evans tapped her foot impatiently. "Spit it out, Regulus," she demanded. "I have class, you know."

"So do I," he snapped at her and she straightened, her hand going to her wand. He backpedaled considerably. "Sorry," he mumbled. "A little jumpy."

"Just _tell_ me."

"It's not that easy," he said darkly.

"It's going to have to be because I don't have the time to sit here all day while you wrench up the courage," she retorted.

He inhaled a long, steadying breath, the implications of which were not lost on her. He was working up his nerve. Which meant that whatever he was about to spill into her lap was big. Possibly—hell, _probably_—terrible.

"I didn't know," he began. "I didn't know what would happen. I just thought—well I wasn't thinking and you can't possibly know how terrible I feel—"

"Regulus."

"Right, right. The thing is, Evans…I've never gotten along with Emmeline Vance."

She snorted. "Never gotten along with Em? Regulus, you didn't realize Emmeline existed until, what, the beginning of this term? Don't lie."

He ran a shaky hand through black hair and Lily took a moment to—as she was sure many others had done before her—compare him to his brother. Same basic features, she decided, but everything just _fit_ better on Sirius. But the eyes…they had the exact same eyes, and that was unnerving because Lily had always thought that real—_well, potential_—she corrected herself mentally, Death Eaters would have ice in their eyes. Regulus simply had Sirius' eyes. Strange, but also slightly comforting. She relaxed a fraction.

"Fine," he said quietly. "I took notice of Emmeline Vance because of her relationship with my—my brother."

Lily narrowed her eyes at him. "They aren't that good of friends, Regulus," she pointed out irritably, wondering where this was heading.

He looked up at her quizzically, meeting her eyes. Understanding bloomed in his. "You don't know."

"Don't know what? What're you _talking_ about, Regulus?"

"Vance didn't tell you," he said slowly, as if things were falling into place in his mind.

"Didn't tell me_ what_?"

He leaned back into his chair and sighed deeply before explaining, "My brother and Emmeline Vance have been shagging since the beginning of term."

Lily stared at him. "You're such a damned little liar," she said softly, willing herself to not believe him. "Em's my best mate, she would've…she would've _told_ me."

"They didn't tell anybody."

"Then how the bloody hell do _you_ know?" she cried. "It's not like… like they would bloody gossip to _you_!"

He was quiet for a moment, studying a spot on the table. "Interrupted a lover's quarrel," he said and Lily was revolted when she saw his smirk.

"Is this what you wanted to tell me?" she demanded hotly. "Because you had no bloody _right_ to—"

"No," he interrupted her. "It's not what I wanted to tell you." His face grew serious and he began to avoid her gaze.

Lily had had enough. "Regulus Black," she snapped, "If you don't tell me right now, I'm going to get Sirius and you can tell _him_ whatever you bloody—"

"I know why Bellatrix went after Vance's parents," he said quietly and Lily trailed off. She was silent, waiting for him to explain himself.

He ran another ragged hand through his hair and fidgeted before saying, "I heard them arguing. You know Sirius bloody _left_, Evans? Picked up and left and never came back." He wasn't looking at her. "And we…er, exchanged words."

Lily stared at him, having a nasty feeling where this might be going and praying she was wrong.

"Vance hexed me," he continued, still avoiding her shocked stare. "An excellent one, inflamed boils. I…I wrote Bellatrix."

"Oh my God," Lily whispered, paling.

"I didn't know what she would do!" he pleaded desperately. "I—I didn't know, Lily, I thought—I didn't mean for any of this to happen and I can't change it, but you—you _have_ to believe me, I never wanted this!"

"Regulus," a new voice said quietly.

It was perhaps the only voice that could have torn Lily's stunned gaze away from Regulus's miserable face.

Severus Snape.

She didn't spring out of her chair in fury, or scream at either one of them. Lily Evans, a Gryffindor and Head Girl, was at a loss for words and all she could do was stare at the pair of them.

"Leave," Snape said quietly to Regulus.

"No," Lily said suddenly. "No, you—you can't leave, Regulus. You—Dumbledore—someone has to know about this!"

"No one can know about this!" Snape snapped at her. "You don't understand what he's involved you in by telling you all this, Lily, and whatever you do, _you cannot tell anyone_!"

She really couldn't remember a time when she had been more hate-filled than at this moment. Her mouth opened but no words came out.

Snape seized on her silence. "You cannot get yourself killed over this," he said quietly. "I won't let you." He placed his hand over hers.

Revulsion filled Lily's veins. "What does it matter to you, Snape?" she asked icily. "I'm just a filthy Mudblood." She snatched her hand away and stood, pointing at Regulus. "Dumbledore has to know," she told him emotionlessly. She didn't acknowledge Snape as she left.

Regulus ventured a glance at Snape and was surprised to see acute pain flash across his face—but then it was gone.

"You," Snape said with deathly softness. "You."

It chilled Regulus to his bones.

--------------

Lily Evans walked away from Regulus Black and Severus Snape and straight to the headmaster's office. She allowed no other thoughts to enter her head and ignored every person who greeted her, including a very hurt Peter Pettigrew. She couldn't let herself think except for telling her feet where to go because if she thought, she would think of Emmeline, her poor best friend who's world had been ripped away from her and—no. Left, down the stairs, down the hallway, stop at the gargoyle. Password—treacle tart. The gargoyle sprang out of her way.

"Miss Evans," Professor Dumbledore greeted her, seeming unsurprised to see her.

And Lily Evans, a Gryffindor and Head Girl, burst into tears.

It took several bottles of butterbeer, but she eventually calmed down enough to hiccup the story to Dumbledore, who did not flinch and looked entirely calm. His serenity did more to steady her than the three bottles of butterbeer.

"Miss Evans," he said gravely, "You have confirmed my suspicions on why Miss Vance's parents were targeted. I had hoped…but alas, here we are." He stroked his beard thoughtfully.

"I think," he continued, "that it is time we had another meeting."

"Sir?" Lily asked, wiping at her face.

"It is time you and your peers were made aware of things," he said, piercing her with his blue stare. "And I would ask that you not speak to Emmeline about what you have found out."

"Yes, sir," she said numbly.

"You have done a good thing, Lily," Dumbledore said quietly. "Do not doubt that."

And with that, she was dismissed.

------------

Sirius was letting Emmeline win at Exploding Snap and she knew it. And while she appreciated his effort, she called him on it anyway.

"I don't get the pleasure of _really_ beating you if you let me win," she told him, smiling over the game at him. His laughter was a shock to her system—it seemed like months had gone by since she had made him laugh.

"You can't _really_ beat me," he informed her and when he reached over to take the dice from her, his hand stayed on hers for a beat too long. And neither one of them looked away.

Peter Pettigrew was fairly certain he was about to be sick. It has to be nothing, he told himself firmly. Sirius was one of his best mates and Emmeline was too good for him. Not his type at all, he reminded himself. They wouldn't do that to him.

James clapped him on the shoulder, not noticing where Peter was looking. "Wormtail, I think—"

But whatever James thought would have to remain known only to James for at least a little while because Lily came in through portrait hole looking as though she had just survived a war.

"You alright, Lily?" he asked, alarmed. He moved away from Peter and went straight to Lily, his arms going around her.

She ignored his question. "Order meeting at eleven," was all she said. "Tell everyone." She extracted herself from his embrace. "I'm taking a nap."

And then she had disappeared up the stairs to the girls' dorm.

James frowned at the stairs and went over to Sirius, sitting next to him. "Order tonight," he said so that Emmeline could hear him too. "Eleven."

-----------

Marlene McKinnon was waiting at their door when Emmeline came up.

"Marlene," she said quietly, and Marlene was grateful that there was no animosity in Emmeline's voice.

"Em," she said, her voice breaking slightly. "I—I'm so sorry. I didn't know what I was thinking, telling you something like that after…after your parents…"

Emmeline wouldn't meet her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me when I first told you about Sirius?" she asked softly.

"I—I didn't think it would last as long as it did," Marlene said lamely. "It's not something I'm _proud_ of, Em, and I didn't want to tell you unless I had to…to warn you about him. In case it was getting serious."

Emmeline finally met her eyes, confused. "I never said it was," she said slowly.

"Sirius didn't say it was either. But neither one of you had too," Marlene added. Taking a deep breath, she reached for Emmeline's hand. "I really am desperately sorry, Em."

It wouldn't be fair or right for her to forgive Sirius and not Marlene and Emmeline knew it. "I know, Marlene." She squeezed Marlene's hand. "Forgiven."

-------------

"You are all most likely wondering why we have not met for a long time," Dumbledore began.

"The story is long and complicated, so I hope I will not bore you in my explanation."

He paced in the middle of the circle of chairs. Emmeline watched him, her face expressionless.

"Voldemort," Dumbledore continued calmly, "has a plan that he thinks we do not know about. Unfortunately for him, we are aware of this plan and I intend to reveal it to you." He pierced them with his steely blue gaze.

No one made a single sound; it was as though the entire room was holding their collective breath.

Dumbledore sighed. "Lord Voldemort is aware of the existence of the existence of the Order of the Phoenix," he said quietly.

No one moved; every eye in the room was fixed on Dumbledore.

"He is not a foolish man. He knows that the Order must recruit from the best and brightest of Hogwarts and he has therefore taken it upon his younger followers—followers who may still be in school here—to gather as much information as possible on students most likely to be interested in becoming Order members." He fixed them with a steely gaze. "Lord Voldemort has been gathering information on _you_."

Emmeline felt bile rise in her throat.

"Lord Voldemort has been collecting this information so that he may…_discourage_ you," Dumbledore continued. "And that is putting it most lightly." His eyes met Emmeline's for the briefest second. "The more he discovers about the Order, the more he can do to try and destroy it."

Destroy it...the pieces clicked in Emmeline's mind.

Someone had targeted _her_.

* * *

Reviews make me update faster! 


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Not mine, etc. The usual.

**A/N:** Oh hey. Bet you thought I had dropped off the planet, cause ya know, it's been a while. BUT I'M BACK. Go ahead, do a happy dance. I'll wait.

Better? Great. Let's get this ball rolling, shall we?

* * *

Chapter 13

_Some nights I stay up  
Cashing in my bad luck  
Some nights I call it a draw.  
-Some Nights, Fun.  
_

Targeted.

Emmeline had a giant bull's eye on her back and she could barely breathe for thinking of it.

Lily's hand had found hers and gripped tightly, but Emmeline hardly felt it. She glanced over at Dorcas and their eyes met.

She hadn't been under any delusions that her parents had been the victims of chance attacks. McGonagall had told her as much—_Death Eaters, Vance. We mourn with you_.

Wizards didn't end up in St. Mungo's because of random acts of violence by Death Eaters—Emmeline wasn't an idiot. Or maybe she was, because despite being perfectly aware—acknowledging, even—the calculation in what had happened to her family, she hadn't even considered that it had been part of an actual plan. That her family had been a real target instead of a show of force.

Her eyebrows knitted together, and unconsciously, her hand tightened on Lily's.

"It's okay," Lily whispered, tilting her face slightly towards Emmeline's. "It's going to be okay, Em."

_Lies_, Emmeline thought flatly. Nothing was okay. Nothing would ever be okay again.

So what was Voldemort's _brilliant_ plan, she wondered acidly. Take out every suspected Order member's family? Every potential Auror? It seemed like a hell of a lot of trouble to go to, and it could backfire. Resolves hardened every day. Hell of a risk.

Dumbledore was speaking; she watched his mouth move but heard nothing but blood roaring in her ears. In the days after her mum died and her dad…stopped being her dad, she had almost drowned in grief. It had swallowed her whole.

This was different. The edges of her vision blurred and her temples fairly burned. This was anger. Gritting her teeth silently, she forced it down. She was not this person and there was no honor in vengeance. She buried it.

She was wrenched out of her reverie when everyone began to head for the exit. Lily tugged her along gently, saying something that Emmeline wasn't even pretending to listen to.

A different hand wrapped itself around her upper arm. Starting a little, she looked up—right into the hazel eyes of one James Potter.

"Hang back a tick, will you Vance?" he asked quietly. Emmeline turned to Lily, who was looking at James, and something must have passed between the two of them over her head because Lily released her hand and said gently, "See you in the room, Em."

When everyone had filed out, James rubbed the back of his neck, looking a bit sheepish.

"What it is, Potter?" Emmeline sighed impatiently. He shook his head at her and said dramatically, "Don't rush me."

A few seconds passed before he spoke. "Look, Vance. I like you. I do."

She raised an eyebrow at him and said with forced cheeriness, "Potter, I refuse to run away with you while you're dating my best friend. Spit it out already."

One corner of his mouth quirked up and she counted it as a small personal victory. Her sense of humor wasn't completely gone—she was still herself.

James hesitated slightly before plowing onward. "I think Sirius might be in love with you," he announced, glancing down to gauge her reaction.

She blinked at him. He waited expectantly, before it dawned on him and he sighed, "Vance, you have to cut Wormtail loose. Before anything else happens."

"I know," Emmeline said softly. "It's just…everything's been so…just so _much_."

He squeezed her shoulder. "You can handle 'too much.'" He threw up finger quotes with exaggerated flair and she laughed in spite of herself. "After all," he grinned down at her. "You're Evans's best friend, and Merlin knows _that_ girl is too much."

Emmeline paused for a bit before saying, a tad apprehensively, "How badly will he take it?"

"On a scale of one to Severus Snape confronted with shampoo?" James shrugged. "Eleven."

"That doesn't even make sense, Potter."

"He'll be down for a bit," James reckoned, "but he's a tough sport. He'll be all right after a few rounds of butterbeer and some possibly less than respectable hijinks." He winked down at her. "Never you fear, we'll sort him. We're good at nursing broken hearts."

"After the trail of them you and Sirius have left in your wake, you should be," she retorted, and her heart felt significantly lighter as she followed him out of the room.

Before they could part ways, James added, "Just do it sooner rather than later, Em. And make it a nice clean break—it'll heal better."

He was gone before Emmeline could say anything, leaving her to wonder when—and _why_— James Potter had discovered how to use Muggle medicine as a metaphor.

* * *

Regulus Black had no illusions that he was a good person; in fact, he often took pride in the fact that he was a _bad_ person. He'd fired a few nasty hexes at unsuspecting Mudbloods, terrified a gaggle of Gryffindor first years with a mere mention of his family's connections—

But now he was the direct cause of someone's death and he was discovering that he was very bad at playing a bad person.

What an untimely attack of conscience.

He had sought refuge in a remote corner off the second floor stairwell, desperately craving isolation. His mind drifted back to earlier, after Lily Evans had fled to Dumbledore and Severus had stared at him, mouth twisting.

_You fool, _Severus had said lowly_. You think are not expendable because of your last name? _

He had shaken his head, terrified_. I just—_

_No more talking_, Severus had snapped. _If things go according to plan, I'll…forget this minor incident. _Regulus had nearly wept in relief before Snape had turned on his heel and swept away, a mass of brutal black robes.

"What're you doing, Black?" someone asked curiously, and he was snapped back into the present. He looked up from his corner.

Peter Pettigrew.

Regulus sneered. "What business is it of yours, Pettigrew? You think because my brother has foolishly befriended you that _I_ will do the same?"

Pettigrew didn't flinch away in terror, Regulus had to give him reluctant credit for that. He gestured for Pettigrew to sit; and with only slight hesitation, he did.

They sat there in silence for several minutes—or was it hours? Regulus could barely tell anymore—until Peter piped up.

"How are you and Sirius so different?" he asked curiously. "Same parents, same upbringing—if _I_ had a brother—"

"If you had a brother, you wouldn't ask that because you'd understand," Regulus cut in. "_I_ value my family, my blood. Sirius…" he shook his head bitterly. "He values nothing."

Pettigrew was shaking his head so violently Regulus wondered idly if it would fly right off. "No," Peter said firmly. "He values some things."

"Oh?" Regulus smirked. "You mean his friendship with you? With James Potter and Remus Lupin? Tell me, Pettigrew, are you a loyal person?"

Pettigrew tilted his head at Regulus and squinted before responding, "Yes."

"And has Sirius shown you the same loyalty?"

Pettigrew opened his mouth to affirm _yes, he has, thank you very much and good day to you, _but he remembered the way Sirius had looked at Emmeline Vance in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room. And he suddenly wasn't so sure anymore.

"Ah," Regulus said softly. "There it is." He stood up and brushed his hands on his robes. "I know _true_ loyalty," and the lie flowed out easily, with bravado he didn't feel. "You should come find me if you want to know it as well."

* * *

"You and Em should spend Christmas with me," Lily announced grandly to Dorcas. She had been chewing on the idea for a while now, and even though she was fairly certain Petunia would give birth to an entire _pile_ of bricks, she was set on it. Petunia was the only one who would mind, she was sure of it.

Dorcas looked up from her Potions notes. "That's terribly sweet and lovely of you Lily, really…but my aunt and uncle have already invited me to stay with them." She smiled a little. "They have five children and a passel of cats."

Lily's face fell a little but she rallied like a trooper. "In that case, enjoy both."

"You should still invite Em, though," Dorcas mused thoughtfully. "I think her parents were only children?" She looked at Lily who nodded in confirmation.

"They were," she said softly. "No grandparents, either. Car accidents, both times." She shook her head.

The door to their room creaked open, and as though summoned by their conversation, Emmeline walked in, yawning. She stopped mid-yawn when she realized they were both eyeing her with concern.

"What?" she asked suspiciously, eyes flickering between the two of them.

Lily spoke first. "I've decided you're spending Christmas with me," she said, "and I will hear no arguments."

Emmeline stared at her for a beat then smiled a little. "No arguments here, Evans. Won't Petunia have a cow though?"

"Hopefully she'll have an entire herd," Lily said cheerfully, pulling her hair back and snuggling under her covers.

"And," Dorcas added, a hint of mischievousness to her voice, "I'd bet more than a several Galleons that a pair of friends will show up at one point or another."

* * *

Emmeline Vance squared her shoulders, set her jaw and steeled her resolve.

_No backing out_, she ordered herself as she set her sights on one Peter Pettigrew. _Here goes nothing_.

"Peter!" she called out, picking up the hem of her robes and hurrying over to where he was walking towards Transfiguration.

He turned and his eyes widened slightly. "E-Emmeline?" He frowned a little. "You don't have this class right now."

"I know," she assured him. "I needed to speak with you. Do you mind?" She gestured to the emptying hallway.

The frown eased a bit and he shook his head. "Of course not."

She fell in step with him and began haltingly, "Peter—you're a very nice person," she floundered a little and forced herself to continue gently, "—an excellent chap, and…I think you're quite a good friend, especially to Potter, Lupin and Black—" she didn't notice his hand clench slightly as she went on, "and I think we could be quite good friends as well. But…" she hesitated, stopped walking and said, voice as kind as she could muster, "I'm afraid that's all we'll ever be, Peter."

He was silent for a long moment. "I understand," he said finally. "Thank you for your honesty, Emmeline."

She blinked, pleasantly surprised at how well he was taking this. "I do want to be your friend, Peter," she repeated, smiling at him. "I hope that doesn't change." She glanced back at the clear hallway. "I'll see you later. Have a good class."

As Peter Pettigrew watched her go, bitterness, dark and hot, skirted along his nervous system. What was it Regulus Black had said about Sirius and loyalty? He shut his eyes tightly.

She had said nothing about Sirius, he reminded himself. There was the possibility—_don't be an idiot, Peter_ a voice hissed at him. _Remember how they looked at each other in front of the fire? _

He opened his eyes and shook his head. No. Sirius was his friend and he refused to give in to whatever ill thoughts Regulus Black planted in his brain.

* * *

The day that Christmas holiday began, the Great Hall fairly sparkled with lights and winking stars. Students milled about, dragging trunks behind them and clinging to friends as though they would not be returning in just barely under a fortnight.

Marlene McKinnon was particularly weepy as she gripped Dorcas and Emmeline's hands tightly. "Have a wonderful holiday," she sniffled, eyes watery. "Write to me if anything interesting happens, because I'll be stuck inside with my _cousins_."

Emmeline grinned at her and said, "I'm sure Christmas with Petunia Evans rivals that of your twelve cousins."

Marlene brandished her wand at Emmeline. "Twelve cousins _under the age of fourteen_, Vance. It's a never-ending nightmare, that is."

"Sympathies," Emmeline drawled as Dorcas laughed.

Lily made her way over, her trunk dragging behind her. "Is everyone ready? The train's getting here soon and—"

"Quit worrying, Evans," James Potter interrupted, swooping in out of nowhere and snatching her trunk away. "Your parents will _love_ me." He grinned.

"Cheeky," Lily muttered, pushing her hair behind her ears primly. "You're _not_ visiting, James, we've discussed this."

"You've discussed, I've ignored," he corrected blissfully. "Doubting my charms, Evans?"

"_What_ charms?" Lily said exasperatedly, but there was no malice in her tone and James was entirely unperturbed.

"I'm particularly excited to meet this sister of yours—"

"That won't last," Emmeline commented dryly. "Petunia will absolutely despise you."

James's hand flew to his heart. "_Words wound_, Vance."

"Pity they aren't fatal," she shot back, and behind James, Sirius Black laughed.

"Train's almost here, mate," he said, clapping James's shoulder and briefly meeting Emmeline's eyes. Feeling as though an enormous weight had been lifted off her shoulders since setting Peter Pettigrew straight, she grinned at him. She had to give him credit—he rolled with her swinging moods expertly and didn't miss a beat by grinning back at her.

"Please," Marlene begged as they trudged outside, the train pulling up. "You _have_ to tell me everything Petunia squawks about you spending Christmas with the Evanses. And if _Potter_ shows up—"

"I'll transcribe every gory detail," Emmeline promised, waving her wand at her trunk so that it floated neatly into the cargo hold. "Down to the huffy sighs."

Lily rolled her eyes. "At least someone will be there to deflect her attention from me all holiday," she grumbled good-naturedly.

"I'm sure I'll have _all_ her attention," James sighed dramatically as they climbed into the coach. "I _am_ very hard to resist."

They found an empty compartment and Emmeline sat across from Lily, staring briefly out the window. Dorcas slid in next to her and said quietly, so that only Emmeline heard, "I daresay we'll make it through, Em."

Emmeline didn't answer for a few seconds, not trusting her voice to remain steady. Finally she whispered back, "I know," and squeezed Dorcas's hand before focusing on Lily telling James he and his friends couldn't sit on the floor of their compartment just because of his _abandonment issues_.

* * *

"She's being _horrid_," Lily complained as she scrubbed a dish clean. She handed it to Emmeline, who began to towel-dry it.

"You did spring my being here on her," Emmeline reminded her fairly, reaching up and placing the dry dish in the cabinet next to the sink. "I don't know how thrilled I'd be if a stranger popped up at my family Christmas." She must be healing, she thought, because there was only the constant ache of missing her family, instead of the raw pain.

Lily scoffed. "First of all, you are hardly a stranger—you've spent more summers here than _she_ has, and second, she's damn near nineteen. She needs to _get over it_." She swiped viciously at the next dish.

Emmeline shrugged. "She'll probably get married to that prat soon and then you'll be rid of each other."

Lily rolled her eyes. "And _what_ a prat he is," she grumbled. "I never thought Petunia would be so bloody _thick_." She nearly threw the dish at Emmeline.

There was a tapping at the kitchen window and Emmeline, grateful for the sudden distraction, set down the dish and her towel. There was an owl waiting patiently on the windowsill.

She slid the letter out of the small pouch attached to the owl's leg. The owl blinked its great eyes at her before taking off.

"Who's it from?" Lily asked as Emmeline unfurled the parchment. She snorted and handed it to Lily. "Who do you think?"

Lily's eyes scanned over James's scratchy handwriting. "Emmeline!" she gasped, head snapping up. "He's actually coming!"

"Why is this surprising? He threatened it the entire trip to King's Cross."

Lily ignored her. "My parents—"

"Your parents know you're seeing someone," Emmeline interrupted calmly. "You warned them that he might decide to show up."

"But Petunia—"

"Has had her prig boyfriend attached to her side the entire time you've been home. Fair's fair."

Lily floundered before returning to the letter. "He's coming the day after tomorrow, he's bringing gifts…"

"Your mum will adore him," Emmeline predicted.

* * *

"What if they don't like him?" Lily whispered to Emmeline as the clock turned nearer to the time James was due to arrive.

"They'll like him because you like him," Emmeline said sagely. "Now stop worrying, you're making _me_ anxious."

At precisely two o'clock there was a knock on the door and Lily gripped Emmeline's arm as Mr. Evans went to answer it.

"Breathe," Emmeline advised, slightly amused at her friend's terror.

"Mr. Evans!" James said heartily, sticking his hand out for Lily's father to shake. Mr. Evans looked over at Lily with an amused expression and Lily's fingers dug into Emmeline's arm.

"And you must be Petunia," he said smoothly to Lily's mum and Emmeline rolled her eyes as Mrs. Evans laughed and accepted the flowers he offered her. Mrs. Evans grinned at Lily from behind James's shoulder and mouthed _very cute_ before slipping into the kitchen for a vase.

"Vance," James greeted her with a wink. "I brought you a present. Hope you like it."

"Doubtful," she returned sardonically and his grin grew before he turned to Lily. Emmeline averted her eyes to give her friend privacy, staring idly at the door.

"Oy," Lily said, pushing at James slightly. "What present—"

"I," Sirius Black announced grandly, "have arrived."

* * *

A/N: Figured I'd give you some light and fluffy since we haven't seen each other in so long.

Questions, comments, criticisms, thoughts, wishful thinking-drop me a line.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **Nope, doesn't belong to me. Title comes from the band Oasis (I'm a 90's kid, what can I say).

**A/N:** I know it's been a while, but I'm really hoping some of those regular reviewers I picked up might come back! No hard feelings though…it was a really long time without an update. Anyway! Thanks to all alert-ers, favorite-ers, and reviewers. Please consider reviewing if you like what you read!

Short but slightly gratuitous chapter. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 14**

_And no rivers and no lakes can put the fire out. —Florence + the Machine_

"I," Sirius Black announced grandly, "have arrived."

Well thank Merlin she hadn't been eating or drinking anything during that ridiculous entrance, Emmeline Vance thought tartly, because she'd be dead from choking.

She heard Lily sputtering at James behind her, but she focused on one smirking Sirius Black.

"_What_ are you doing here?" she demanded and he hands her a wrapped box.

"It's Christmas," he said, as if she didn't know.

"I'm aware. That doesn't answer my question."

"Of course it does," he responded easily. "It's Christmas, James bought Lily a present, I bought you a—"

"I can see that," she grumbled, and James went to stand by Sirius, draping an arm over his friend's shoulder.

"Do you like my present, Vance?" James asked innocently, and despite herself, she laughed. They just looked so damn _pleased_ with themselves.

Lily was far less amused. "You should have said something," she rebuked James, poking him in the side.

He shrugged. "Tis better to ask forgiveness than permission," he sang out and Sirius snorted.

"You kids hungry?" Mrs. Evans called from the kitchen.

James's face lit up and Sirius answered for both of them. "Always."

* * *

"She is the sourest of the sourpusses," James whispered to Emmeline and Lily as Petunia and her horrid boyfriend Vernon glared at them in tangent. "Hasn't anyone told her that if she makes the face for too long, it will stick that way?"

"Many times," Emmeline answered dryly, shooting a pointed look in Petunia's direction; the horse-faced girl squeaked and, grasping Vernon's hand, left the room. "She's also a right coward, that one."

Lily rolled her eyes and stabbed at her roast beef with her fork. "It's also her bloody turn to do the dishes—"

"Evans," James interrupted, eyes watching her vicious poking in fascination, "Padfoot and I can do them. You and Ems just…do whatever girly things you were planning on doing."

Emmeline arched an eyebrow in Lily's direction. "We do owe Marlene a direct transcript of every loud sigh directed in our vicinity."

But Lily shook her head firmly. "I don't trust _her_ in the house alone with these two. Or," she added with glare in James and Sirius's direction, "vice versa. And I need to tell Potter just exactly what _manners_ are, so." She snatched James's plate away from him and, despite his protests that he wasn't finished, promptly dumps the tiny final bite of meat into the bin.

Recognizing the storm about to hit, Emmeline says with false brightness, "Come on, Black, I'll show you the backyard."

"Oh just admit it," Sirius remarked casually as she walked ahead of him, breathing in the sweet smell of the English countryside. "You wanted to be alone with me."

"Don't flatter yourself," she volleyed back easily, eyes focused on the rolling hills in front of her. She leaned against the fence that bordered the expansive Evans property and let her eyes drift shut as the breeze picked up slightly. "No excuse is flimsy enough to get away from Petunia Evans. Trust me on this."

She felt his eyes on her face and opened her own to find him next to her, his back and elbows leaning languidly against the fence, dark eyes unreadable. "Why did you come with James, Sirius?"

Something she can't translate flashed in his eyes and he cocked his head at her. "I heard you let Wormtail down easily enough," he said, and she scowled at him.

"And you're avoiding the question," she pointed out, turning back to the scenery.

"No," he argued, and she felt him lean in slightly closer. "I heard about what happened with Wormtail and I—" He paused and ran a hand through his hair. "I could really like you, Vance."

"_Could_? Excuse me while my heart just melts, Black," she snipped sarcastically, straightening her spine and pushing off of the fence. "If that's the best you can do—"

"It's not," he interrupted, hands snaking around her wrists and gently pulling, but with enough force that she tripped right into him. His arms went around her waist, his hands locking behind her back. His eyes had darkened significantly when she looked up into them and he said lowly, "I can do a lot better."

But he made no move to close the small distant between their faces and she stared up at him blankly for more than a few seconds, not quite comprehending. And then—_oh_. It was her move. She bit her lip and said quietly, "Sirius, you're practically famous for being a playboy and I've never even had a _boyfriend._" She felt his forearms flinch before they tightened around her.

"I like you," he said quietly, and his forehead dropped to press against hers. "Quite a lot, in fact, Vance. And…" he shrugged again. "Consider this a reformation."

Her heart tripped over itself as his hand came up to brush a few stray pieces of blonde hair out of her face. "But how can I be _sure_?"

His smile was slightly grim. "You can't. But…you trust me. Right?" His eyes searched hers and there was hot pull in her stomach as she nodded slowly.

"Yeah," she whispered and before she could second-guess herself, she eliminated the gap between them, her lips hesitantly meeting his.

His hands trailed up the backs of her arms and she felt goose-bumps brush over her skin; he laughed a little into her mouth and she pulled back irritably. "No," he said, pulling her face back to his and reversing their positions so that she was the one pressed against the wooden picket fence. Her arms slid around his neck of their own volition and he shifted his hips slightly so that her legs were just far enough apart for him to rest between them. A voice in her head whispered, _Too fast, too fast!_ But she couldn't help but ignore it.

One of his hands traveled down to the edge of her t-shirt, sliding underneath it; she couldn't help the quick intake of breath that she took when she felt his warm palm against her stomach. He laughed again, but this time she smiled a little against his lips and his hand roamed further upwards, fingers splaying over her ribcage and halting there. She was vaguely grateful for his control, because her head was so fuzzy right then that she wasn't too sure when she would make him stop.

The pull in her stomach became more heated, and she had an acute feeling of pleasure-pain—like when she would scratch a mozzie bite for too long. "Slower," she managed to say, pulling away just long enough to get the word out.

Sirius nodded even as his other hand tangled itself in her hair, and his mouth moved to her ear. "You're beautiful, you know," he murmured into it, lips dancing over the outer shell. "Perfect."

"Bet you say that to all the girls," she whispered back, a small smile flitting across her face. He smiled back before answering, "No," and continuing his exploration of her neck. "I did really bring you a present," he told her, mouth moving down hotly to her collarbone and it took a moment for her to focus on the fact that he had actually said something.

"Oh," she managed to say, fingers coming down to smooth down the collar of his shirt. "I didn't get you a thing, you know."

For the third time, he laughed. "No hard feelings," he told her, mouth finding hers again. "But you could make it up to me."

She froze, hands dropping to her sides. "_Sirius_."

"Get your mind out of the drain," he said, poking at her ribs with the hand that still rested there. His eyes turned serious. "Be my girlfriend, Vance."

She blinked up at him, eyes wide. "W-What?"

His face was so close to hers that his eyes blurred into one and his nose was touching hers. "Be my girlfriend," he repeated, and when he moved against slightly, her knees nearly gave out. "You know you want to say yes," he continued, and his mouth moved down the side of her neck, never actually landing anywhere. "So just say it."

She couldn't even think with him doing that, and she knew he knew it, too. "That's—" she inhaled sharply as he came back up to bite her bottom lip softly. "—a big question, Sirius. Have you even had one before?"

He smirked at her. "No. I've only ever had _girls_." His fingers stroked against her side and she nearly sighed. "So it'll be a new experience for both of us, Vance."

But still she hesitated. "It would really hurt Peter," she pointed out quietly and his entire face darkened.

"You should think about what you want for once," he said, voice slightly cool. "This is between you and me, not you, me, and all our friends."

"But it affects our friends," she reminded him, and his hands dropped back to his sides. Frowning, she reached to thread her fingers through his. "I'm not saying no," she said quietly. "Just…let me think on it, yeah?"

Before she knew what happened, he was pressed even more closely against her than before, his dark black eyes encompassing her entire line of vision. "At least let me argue my case," he levied and there was that strange heat in her stomach again.

"Fair play," she agreed unevenly and his eyes flashed with triumph before his lips met hers again.

* * *

"_James,_" Lily hissed, grabbing at James's arm and pulling him to the window over the sink. "Are you seeing this?"

James tore his gaze from her and followed her eyes out to the pasture behind the Evans house. A slightly proud smile inched across his face. "Atta boy, Prongs," he muttered and Lily smacked his arm.

"Did you bring him here for this specific purpose?" she demanded and he blinked beguilingly.

"Of course not," he said, the picture of innocent. At her snort of disbelief, his hands came to rest on her shoulders. "Evans. _Lily_. My heart. He really does like her."

"Of course he does," she retorted blithely. "She's pretty and he hasn't shagged her. Of course Sirius Black likes her."

James shook his head, eyes widening dramatically. "You're forgetting that _I_ like Vance too. I wouldn't encourage him if I thought he was toying with her. And," he nudged her shin gently with his foot, "I have this small soft spot for you, and she's your best mate. It's in my best interest for her to be happy."

Lily's face turned soft and she glanced back out the window. "She does need something," she agreed wistfully. "It's been so hard for her, James."

He rested his chin on the top of her head and felt a tug at his heart when she burrowed her face in his chest. "I know," he said softly as her arms wrap around his waist. "I know."

* * *

"You look like you have a secret," Lily commented slyly and Emmeline blushed.

"No secrets," she said with failed nonchalance and Lily snorted.

"I saw you two," she said with a hint of mischief. "And James said Sirius asked you to be his _girlfriend_! Em, has Sirius ever even had a girlfriend?"

Emmeline shook her head, finger drawing patterns in the quilt on Lily's bed. "No," she said quietly. "And—and I told him I had to think about it."

Lily stared at her in disbelief. "But…but what is there to think about, Ems? He likes you, you like him—I don't understand what decision has to be made here!"

Emmeline shrugged. "It's hard to explain."

"Try me."

Biting her lip, Emmeline said slowly, "I like Sirius, Lily—a lot. And…if I'm his girlfriend…" she shrugged again, a little helplessly. "I know I'll go from liking him to something more in a very short time and we're about to graduate and things outside of Hogwarts are _loony_ and—" she halted the torrent of words spilling out of her mouth. "I just lost my whole family in one fell swoop," she whispered, knees drawing up to her chest. "I need to heal from that before I can be with someone."

Lily took Emmeline's hands in her own. "Listen to me, Em," she said firmly. "I agree—I do think that what you need is to hell, but I think you're severely underestimating Sirius's ability to help you do that." As Emmeline's mouth opened to protest, Lily held up a hand. "He doesn't have anyone either, Em," she reminded her friend gently. "And if his friendships are any indication, he loves with his entire heart. This could be good for you."

Emmeline took a deep breath. "I've never—loved a boy before," she said softly, and Lily laughed.

"And before your eleventh birthday you had never done magic before," she pointed out. "And now it comes to you like breathing." She smiled gently at her friend. "I think you'll find it comes easier than you think."

Emmeline's eyes shot up to meet Lily's. "Wait," she said slowly, eyes narrowing in suspicion. "Do you—do you love _James_?" Lily gave her a small, secret smile and Emmeline's mouth dropped open before it turned into a grin.

"_Lily!_" she squealed, careful to keep her voice low as to not wake Petunia in the next room. "Does he know yet?" She wrinkled her nose. "He might faint when you tell him."

"I'm telling him soon," Lily promised, eyes sparkling and Emmeline's grin only grew. "Don't give the game away, Em."

"I would _never_."

* * *

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Sirius asked, mouth at her shoulder, and she giggled slightly, pushing at him.

"You have to _stop_," she admonished him with false severity. "We're in the Evans's _home_."

"They went out," he reminded her petulantly, fingers sliding through the belt loops of her jeans and bringing her hips flush to his. "They all went out, Vance, and you've danced around the subject for the last two days."

"I didn't think you were staying so long," she retorted, vetoing as his hand drifted lower than currently acceptable. "Don't the Potters want to see James before he goes back to school?"

Sirius shrugged, backing her against the hallway wall, hands resting on either side of her head. "They've listened to obsessed monologues about Lily Evans for years, Vance. They're thrilled for him. Stop bloody _dodging_."

Her hands went up to wrap around his wrists. "First, listen," she ordered and he sent her a grin that sent warm shivers down her spine. "We cannot flaunt it. No touching—"

His dark eyebrows slash together incredulously. "_Ever_?"

"In _public_," she clarified firmly. "None at all. It would be incredibly cruel to Peter."

"It's incredibly cruel to _me_," he grumbled but she could tell she had won.

"And everything has to be slow," she added, hands falling from his wrists and crossing her arms over her chest. "I mean it, Sirius. Snogging _only_."

He had the grace to look offended. "I don't pressure girls, Vance," he informed her, and she gave a pointed look to where his hands had dropped back down to her waist. "Oh come on," he protested, wrinkling his nose at her. "That's hardly inappropriate."

She sighed and took his face in her hands. "Just…slow, yeah?"

"Vance," he said gently, forehead touching hers, "You are safe with me."

And she believed him.

Final term was going to be interesting.

* * *

**A/N: ** Come now, that deserves a review, right? It's so easy now too...just type in the little box right there and hit 'send.' Simple! And I'll love you forever, and I'll put up a much fuller chapter soon. So...win/win!


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